Recent Smiles

This letter from Lance. He wrote it in August and hand-delivered it last week. It gave me several hearty chuckles and I've smiled many times, just thinking about it since then. Lance is beyond smart and possesses a sense of humor unrivaled by most people I know.  Also, Lance and I are a lot a like.  I like old-fashioned letters and Lance does, too.  In this letter he talks about some things that I've given a lot of thought to myself in recent months.  It was neat to know we were thinking about the same things at the same time.

This is the sleeve from my Election Day Starbucks last November. I stuck on my 'I Voted' sticker that night because they just seemed to belong together. It has been on my desk since then and I smile every time I see it.

This is a bulletin from my church in Texas.  It would be an understatement to say that I feel bittersweet looking at it.  I miss everyone and everything there so much; the energy, the atmosphere, the discussions, the plans.  It's unlike anything I've experienced any where else.  I'm happy and sad when I think about it.

My new wine cork collection.  That one on the top -- The Prisoner -- was especially good.  I like examining these corks.  Some have intricate artwork.  I like those the best. One might wonder why anyone would care what is on a wine bottle cork.  I don't.  I had the pleasure of meeting a few wine makers this summer.  They're interesting people and maybe a tiny bit insane.  Anyone who spends that much time with grapes has to be.  But they love those grapes.  They know them from start to finish. They create wines with those grapes and put immense effort into them.  It's understandable that the cork should reflect that effort and attention.

This little lady.  I don't even remember where I got her but I like her.  She sits on top of my jewelry box and most of the time I don't think about her.  But when I do, I smile and feel a bit better about life.

This is Samuel's latest artwork.  It's a Wild Thing.  My kids go to an incredible school.  The teachers really do give it their all.  The art teacher is teaching my kids about Klimt, O'Keefe, Van Gogh and who knows what else.  She incorporates all types of media into her lessons.  The kids have come home with ceramic projects that they saw through from a mound of wet clay to the kiln.  They know what pastels, watercolors and charcoal are -- all because of this teacher.  She fosters creativity and inspires originality.  I love her and I've barely met her. She and the artwork my children make with her make me smile.

So that's what I'm smiling about lately.  How about you?

The Fridge is too Cold

You know how I can tell? This egg is frozen. No kidding.

So ...

It's been a while.  I keep thinking of stuff I want to write here and then running out of time to write it.  When I do have the time to write, the stuff isn't as pressing and I decide not to do it.  Lame, huh?

We had Thanksgiving.  I didn't go to Arkansas.  I was kind of worried that it wouldn't feel like Thanksgiving without 40 people and 2 turkeys and 17 side dishes.  But we made do.  I had Paul and his son over.  Jonathan and Lance were here.  We also invited Paul's friend and her son because all their family is in Ohio and they couldn't travel there.  We had a really great day.  I made the turkey and it was fabulously delicious, if I do say so myself.

I drove to get the kids (again) last Sunday.  We saw a whole fleet of trucks from Midland.  It was cool.  The kids got all excited and I was a little nostalgic.  On that same trip, I saw two vehicles with license plate frames from car dealerships in Midland, too.

The Christmas tree is up.  We assembled it and strung the lights last night while watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas and Shrek the Halls on television.  We added ornaments this evening. 'Tis the season for hot chocolate, snow and debating Christmas/religion with Solomon.  Oh, boy.

Our office Christmas party is this Saturday evening.  I'm really looking forward to it.  It's just my second one but the last year was lots of fun and this year Paul is going with me.

Next weekend Jennifer and I are going out to dinner with girlfriends and to see a play.  We're excited.  The group of friends we're going with is so much fun.  They're witty, intelligent women and we all get along really well.

The weekend after that, I'll keep Jennifer and Caleb's boys while they go to Caleb's company party.  That will be fun.  I'm thinking that if it's not too cold, we might make up some hot chocolate and go walking around their neighborhood to look at Christmas lights.  I was just there tonight and there are lots of lights up already.

The day after that, I'll take the kids to meet Moises and they'll be gone for another 2 weeks.  I'll have Christmas here with Paul and Jennifer and Caleb and other assorted cool people.  And there'll be New Year's Eve and it will be 2010.  Man, time is flying!

So those are the plans for the rest of the month.  I'm looking forward to it all.  It's what the holidays should be: time with family and friends, food, fun and anticipation of the coming year.

Listen To This

Now.  Doesn't that make you want to go out and right all the wrongs in the world?

Neighbors

So you know how I used to complain about Bigfoot upstairs and the punks downstairs that were always slamming doors and smoking and letting their dog howl without ceasing?  Well, I got lucky and both sets of neighbors moved out at the same time in September.  I had a glorious few weeks of peace and quiet.  It was all I'd dreamt it could be.

In October I got new neighbors both upstairs and downstairs.  The downstairs neighbors ticked me off right away by taking up two parking spots with their big, stupid SUV.  Fortunately, they straightened up quickly and kept me from having to point out the error of their ways.  They do smoke outside a lot but in the winter it's not a big deal.  (And sometimes, if I'm in just the right mood, I don't mind smelling cigarette smoke out on my patio.  I can deal.)

The upstairs neighbors are another issue entirely.  At first I thought it was another particularly exuberant Bigfoot.  But then it became obvious that Bigfoot II has a partner and dogs and they like to play croquet or badminton or some other lawn game in their living room at 9:00 PM.  The only thing that kept me from complaining to them or to the management was that they usually quieted down by 10:00 PM.  A couple of times I awoke to hear stomping or thumping in the middle of the night but it didn't keep me up long.

Until last night.  Last night was scary.  There was slamming of doors, crashing of large items, shouting, cursing, screaming.  It was awful in a gut-wrenching, horrifying, sickening way.  I called the police.  The police didn't get any where, but not for lack of trying.  They knocked on the door, pounded on the door, yelled through the door, tried to get someone to open the door for nearly two hours.  The scary person or persons upstairs never opened the door.

I have a bad feeling.  It's a sad, scary feeling.  I'm not comfortable in my own home because of the nastiness upstairs.  I don't want to be here.  It was better when they were just annoying, inconsiderate idiots.  But now I know that someone is being hurt up there and it's terrifying.

February can't come soon enough.

Good News

My last post may have led you to believe that my life sucks, but it doesn't.  At least, not for the most part.  There are good things that have happened in the last month.

The weather has been phenomenal.  We had a fantastic snow storm.  And then it warmed up, the snow melted and we went about in short sleeved t-shirts with the air conditioning on full blast.  In case I haven't mentioned it lately, this is one of the reasons I love Colorado.

The kids had fall break and therefore, so did I.  They left for a couple of weeks and I got caught up on laundry, grocery shopping, house cleaning and all sorts of other fun stuff.

Another of my family moved to the area.  Yay!  Denver is getting better all the time.

Paul and I enjoy spending time together.  A few weeks ago he had surgery, came through it pretty well, and is recovering now.  Things are mostly back to normal.

The kids went to their first school skating party.  It was my own special little hell, but they really loved it.  I'm trying to figure out how to help them have more fun next time and how to get me out of it.

I met with all the kids' teachers this week to go over their progress during the first trimester.  It was all good news.  All three teachers said that my children are a bright spot in their classrooms.  All three kids are working hard, learning well and behaving themselves.

I am looking at some where else to live.  My lease will be up in February and we need 3 bedrooms.  This is a stressful, daunting, frustrating task.  I don't like moving, but it is kind of exciting.

Paul and I have seen some excellent movies.  Inglourious Basterds was fantastic.  Of course, it's by Quentin Tarantino so do with that information what you will.  The Invention of Lying was highly entertaining, but I warn you that not everyone would agree.  Think: questioning the existence of God and How Things Came to Be.  Most recently we saw The Men Who Stare at Goats.  If you have a problem with George Clooney, Jeff Bridges, Kevin Spacey and Ewan McGregor making you laugh your hiney off, you probably shouldn't see it.

So that's how things are here.  We are trudging along to the end of the year, the end of the school year and we are another year closer to the Empty Nest.

Why I Will be Happy for the Kids to Grow Up

Disclaimer:  This is a Debbie Downer post.  I'm fully aware of that.  I'm not usually in this state of mind and you know it.  But this has been a difficult couple of weeks and I need to vent.  Thank you.

When the kids grow up there will be no more:

• mysterious stomach symptoms, followed by puking
• obsessive-compulsive throat clearing
• remembering who gets the first computer turn today, who gets to sit where, who gets the 'special' fork or who gets any one of the numerous things they argue about
• invasion of my bed at 6 AM with tossing and turning, flicking at my ears, asking for food, wiggling incessantly and finally running frantically to the bathroom to pee
• peed beds
• homework wrangling
• coordinating of visits with the ex-husband
• coordinating of anything with the ex-husband
  
• deciding where to live based mostly on where they will go to school
• book fairs, skating parties, volunteering at school or scheduling parent/teacher conferences
• backseat fighting
• "Move!", or "Don't do that!", or "Stoooooop iiiiit!"
• crying over computer games that are too difficult or too violent or too everything
• being afraid of the dark or monsters or spiders
• disgusting yellow stains on and around the toilet or stale urine smell in the bathroom
• discussions of why I think drinking alcoholic beverages is okay and the ex-husband does not

Subarus are Freakin' Awesome

 I warmed up the car this morning for about 7 minutes, scraped off some of the snow and then went back inside for my coffee.  When I came back out all the snow was melted off all the windows.  Plus it has seat warmers, sideview mirror defrosters and a heated windshield to keep the wipers from freezing.  Amazing.  I love it.

The all-wheel drive isn't too shabby, either.  I scoff at snow.

Annoying Things in Waiting Rooms

• Loud conversations about personal medical conditions -- I know it's important to you, but I don't want to hear about your uncle's prostatectomy.
  
• Cell phones that ring loudly while the owner stares at it, deciding if they want to answer while the rest of us grit our teeth against the shrill circus music.
• Abandoned coffee cups, used tissues and other assorted trash -- how hard is it to pick up after yourself?
• Soap operas and talk shows (i.e. Maury Povich, Steve Wilkos, etc.) on the televisions.
• Couples having passive aggressive fights at the next table.
• Everyone complaining that "It's gotten so cold outside!  I can't believe it!"  Um, this is Colorado in October.  What else do you expect?

P.S.  I am very grateful for my iPod and laptop because they make waiting so much more bearable.  And it's much easier to ignore annoyances with music in my ears.

Tomorrow!!

Chill-Inducing

Home

I have struggled for 4 years, wondering where Home was. I got divorced and suddenly my home was not where it should have been or what I thought it was.  Broken marriage vows will do that to a person.  I had to recreate a home.  And then some of the people I considered part of my home moved away.  I still had bits and pieces of my reconstructed home but not enough to make it feel whole.

I moved to Colorado, thinking I might find Home here.  But that was tough because everything was new.  I had to enroll my kids in a school district where I didn't know anyone (this was huge -- in Midland I knew everyone or at least someone who knew someone, you know?), make new friends, acclimate myself to the culture, find a new grocery store, etc.  That's a difficult chore.  It left me feeling that not only hadn't I found my home, but maybe I'd also destroyed the little bit of home I had in Texas.

I didn't think I'd find home in Arkansas.  I did a huge amount of growing up there and I know lots of people there.  My parents are there.  I love them dearly, but I don't feel like I fit in Arkansas.  In fact, I'm certain that I don't fit in Arkansas.  As much as my parents contribute to my home, Arkansas isn't Home.

I wondered if New Mexico might be Home. But following the ex-husband would not help me rebuild Home.  It just wouldn't.  You can imagine why.

In the 20 months since I arrived in this beautiful place, I've come to a conclusion:  Home is not about location.  The real estate business has it all wrong.  Home is about peace.  Home is feeling like you fit.  Home is taking bits and pieces of your life and fitting them together to make something meaningful, no matter where you are.  Home is the feeling you have when you wake up and when you go to sleep.  Home is about memories from the past and plans for the future and living in this moment, all at once.

I think I've finally found Home.  It's great to be here.

One of the Funniest Videos Ever

Things That Are Making Me Happy

• this caramel macchiato
• October
• clean floors
• no work today
  
• our lunch date today
  
• it's the weekend
• this song and the person I think about when I hear it
• Jim and Pam's wedding in 6 days
  

Irony

I was waiting in a long line of cars to make a right turn this morning.  The driver in front of me began to get impatient as we waited for traffic to clear so she tried to nose out to the right of us and go around the cars in front of her.  There appears to be room to do that at this particular intersection but there really isn't because that space isn't actually a lane and it gets cut down to nothing at the corner.  The driver noticed this after she'd maneuvered her car half way into this space and then she just sat there, stuck.  I chuckled to myself because I love to see people with a sense of entitlement cut down to size.

Then I noticed her bumper sticker.  It read, Women Make Great Leaders ... You're Following One Now.  And then I laughed out loud.

Things That Are Annoying Me

• This little spot on my upper lip that is chapped. My lips aren't chapped -- just this one spot. And no amount of Burt's Bees or Chicken Poop is helping.
• The tire pressure gauge keeps lighting up on my new car. I've been in twice for them to fix it but they're only 'fixing' it.
• Sponge Bob.
• Bickering kids.
• I'm itchy for no apparent reason.
• The tile floors need sweeping and mopping and I don't want to do it.
• I can't find someone to work for me on October 5. Every last prn nurse we have is busy. And we have more of them than we've ever had since I started there.
• The boys can't seem to lie on the floor without putting their feet all over the furniture around them, no matter how many times I remind them, make them sit up, make them sit on their feet, etc.
  

I Knew This Day Was Coming

But I didn't know it would come so soon. My three children can shower alone. All of them. Even the 6-year-old. Even the 8-year-old with hair-down-to-there can wash, rinse, condition and rinse again. Alone. It's a beautiful thing.

Too Comforting?

Miriam came to me in the kitchen tonight, pouting. When I asked her what was wrong she said that she doesn't want to go to school tomorrow.

I thought she was worried about something at school or feeling worse or something. I finally got her to admit that there are no problems at school; she just wanted another day at home with me.

Evidently, we've had too much fun together. I have to admit that it has been kind of nice. We've watched cartoons together, shared hot chocolate and cuddled on the sofa quite a lot. I confessed that I'd really like to stay home with her again too, but that we both need to get back to school and work.

So to celebrate that we're better now, we decided to bake brownies together. Brownies make everything better.

My Kids Have Been Indoctrinated

And that's meant tongue-in-cheek, of course.

I got a message from the school district last week concerning the speech to be given by President Obama this week to students. It stated that teachers in the district had the option of showing the speech in class but that some may not be able to due to scheduling conflicts, etc. As you probably would guess, I had no problem with the kids listening to this speech, no matter what political pundits across the board might say.

As it turns out, neither of the boys' teachers showed the speech and Miriam was at home with me, coughing and sleeping. So we watched the speech at CNN.com tonight. I paused it occasionally to talk to the kids about the points being made. They were really impressed but I wondered how much they really absorbed.

It didn't take long to see what an impact the talk made on Solomon. He immediately went to my desk and wrote out the following statement for himself. He says he's going to keep it forever and read it on his first day of college.

I am promising my country ...
I will work harder in school.
I will make many goals and try to reach them.
I will behave more.
I will be a better leader.
I will focus more in school and I will keep this letter
and read this paper when I need help.

I am so proud. And that is not meant to be tongue-in-cheek.

H1N1: We Haz It

I had a bad, bad feeling on Saturday that I was coming down with the flu. It just felt like it. I tested myself at the office and it was negative. That, coupled with the fact that I didn't have a fever, led me to believe I didn't actually have a strain of flu.

But then Miriam started complaining of a headache and had a fever last night. Because I still felt flu-ish and because the kids are supposed to spend this weekend in Albuquerque and because I can't miss more work, I took Miriam in for a flu test this morning. It was positive, flu A, which is what H1N1 is.

We have prescriptions for Tamiflu now. Well, the kids do; I don't because it's been too long for Tamiflu to benefit me now. And I'm feeling much better anyway. I hope the prophylactic dose really helps the boys and we avoid any more of this mess.

I have to say I'm really glad to know that the hype over H1N1 is really more hype than anything else. I haven't felt nearly as ill as I did when we got whatever other strain of flu we had in January 2008. I really think that people like us who are relatively healthy over all, shouldn't worry too much about H1N1. Truly.

I feel really bad about exposing people this weekend, though. We spent quite a bit of time with Jenn, Caleb and the boys and also with My New Friend and his son. I know this just happens sometimes, but it doesn't stop me from feeling bad about it. My apologies to you all.

I Want a Real Mommy!

"I want a real mommy that gives me whatever I want! Not a fake mommy like you that won't give me anything!"

-- Samuel, at bedtime when he claimed to be hungry and I sent him to bed, knowing full well that he was only stalling

Babysitting

Well, these aren't babies, so I guess it's kidsitting. I'm so happy it's not babysitting. I like babies, but I don't want to be wholly responsible for babies any more.

Kidsitting is so easy. These kids feed themselves. They play together. They go to the bathroom alone. (Well, most of them. Samuel wants company to ward off monsters.) They wash their own hands and brush their own teeth. I'll spread out sleeping bags in another hour and tell them to lie down and watch a movie. With any luck, they'll be asleep before the movie is over.

All I've done is put food on their plates, encourage the partaking of vegetables and remind them to take their dishes to the sink. I'm sitting here writing this, playing on Facebook and watching "Meet the Parents." Babysitting would never be this easy.

Yuck

Something one doesn't want to see near the hot tub: litter in the form of a torn condom wrapper.

Something one doesn't want to explain to one's children: why this particular piece of litter means we won't be using the hot tub.

Samuel's Teacher

I was very pleased to find out that Samuel was assigned to the same first grade teacher Miriam had when we moved here. He's an excellent teacher and really seems to love his job. Here's an example:

Earlier this week the teacher called me to discuss Samuel's behavior. (Yes, already! Yikes.) Apparently Samuel was investigating an inappropriate hand gesture. According to the teacher, he wasn't acting maliciously and didn't gesture at anyone in particular. It was purely curiosity. So they had a talk about how it's not okay to do that and that was it.

We also discussed Samuel's inattention and how it's very difficult for him to complete his work. I explained that Samuel hasn't taken any Focalin all summer and that I really want to see how the school year starts before putting him back on it. Also, the transition onto the medication is a little difficult and I don't want to pile that on top of the transition to being here after being in Albuquerque and starting school after being on summer break. His teacher is very understanding and willing to work with us on this.

Very nice, huh? Well, listen to this.

Today I missed a call from the school. When I checked the voicemail I was disappointed to hear Samuel's teacher saying, "Hello, this is Mr. X." I was afraid it was something bad. But it wasn't. He was calling to say how proud he is of Samuel and that he thought I should know. He said Samuel worked really hard today, finished most of his work and followed the classroom instructions. Yay!

I got the message right before I left to pick up the kids. It was a great way to start the afternoon. Samuel's teacher even made a point of finding me in front of the school to reiterate how great Samuel did today. Pretty fantastic, huh?

The #1 Thing I Don't Understand

McCain/Palin bumper stickers with the McCain half cut off. I've seen them quite a lot around here. I just don't get it.

When John McCain was just John McCain, I considered voting for him. John McCain as a political candidate, on his own, was not so bad. By the time he chose his running mate, I was already a staunch Obama supporter and very proud of it. McCain made a terrible mistake in choosing Sarah Palin and I'm glad I didn't have to switch candidates because of it. Also, I was really irked that McCain's people expected women voters to back him just because he chose a woman VP. It's extremely insulting to think that women would support a candidate just because ovaries are involved. But most of that is neither here nor there.

Sarah Palin. Man, that woman irritates me more than anyone I don't personally know has a right to. She's not smart. She's a scary, bigoted, fear-mongering sorry excuse for a politician. And she's a quitter. I do not understand placing so much faith in her. It's like she's seen as the hope of the Republican party; people really want to vote for her in 2012. She has her own grassroots campaign going already amongst these people who cut John McCain off his own bumper sticker.

If anyone has any insight, I'd really love to hear it.

That's Why They Do It!

The other night I was mixing a drink with rum and fruit juice. Miriam said, "You just made wine, didn't you?" I said no, it wasn't wine, it was rum and it's also a drink that children shouldn't have. She sniffed it, proclaimed it 'gross' and then asked, "Why do they even make that stuff?" Before I could put together an answer, Solomon jumped in with, "It's so adults can have drinks that they don't have to share with their kids."

First Day of School

So the kids started school again today. I met their teachers last week and called the kids in Albuquerque to tell them about their classrooms.

When I picked them up yesterday they were really excited about going back to school. Even with all the excitement, I expected a little nervousness. I expected to park and walk them to their classroom lines, introduce them to their teachers and hug them tightly before heading off to work.

We pulled into the school parking lot this morning and the kids squealed and bounced up and down in their seats. I asked if they wanted me to walk up with them, hoping they'd say yes. But they didn't. Not a single one. I said to Samuel, "It's the first day of first grade -- are you sure you don't want me to go with you?" Nope. He took off, his stuffed backpack almost toppling him over.

And then I sat at the curb for a few minutes, half bursting with pride that they are so independent and confident and half sad that they don't seem to need me as much as I think they do.

The Kids are Back

It's only been 6 hours since I picked them up and I'm exhausted. I had forgotten how difficult this job is.

Old People's TV

You know you're watching an old people's television show when every other commercial is for COPD medications, life insurance to cover your after death expenses or nail clippers with an attached magnifying glass.

For the record, I'm watching Matlock. Sshhh, don't tell anyone.

I Bought a Car

The Suburban served me well for almost 7 years. I blew out the transmission, busted the emergency brake, ruined the rear brakes, neglected the windshield and covered it in opinionated bumper stickers. I put 110,000 miles on it after it had already been driven 70,000. It's a wonder the poor truck didn't decide to trade me in for a new driver a long time ago.

Lately, the Suburban's radiator has started leaking at an alarming rate, the air conditioner went out and it needed a new set of tires. I couldn't justify pouring that much money into a 12 year old vehicle. Plus, even if the truck was in top condition, it's not all-wheel drive, which I desperately need for the winter coming up. Off to the Subaru dealership I went.

I test drove the Forester and the Outback. I realized immediately that I liked the Outback far better; it feels like a car and I'm tired of driving an SUV. I considered taking advantage of the 'Cash for Clunkers' deal. I could have received $4500 toward the purchase of a new Subaru but even with that credit, I'd end up with a larger loan than I'd like. So I decided to get a slightly older car with a smaller price tag and trade in the Suburban. I only got $1500 for the Suburban but my loan is more reasonable.

I briefly considered test-driving other makes of cars. I decided not to, though. I've been dreaming of Subarus for a year and a half. I like that the Subaru plant is environmentally friendly. I like that Subarus last forever, that they're one of the safest cars on the road and that they're fuel-efficient. There isn't another car maker that can claim all of those things. Why go some where else?

So on Monday night, I signed my name approximately 28 times, initialed another dozen items and drove away (finally!) at 10:45 pm with my 2008 Subaru Outback. I actually bought a car by myself and it's exactly what I want. I did it. I still can't believe it.

More Reasons to Love Colorado

The Dinner With a New Friend

It's going somewhere good. :)

I Have a Problem

I am an itunes-aholic. It's interfering with my life. I stayed up past midnight last night, searching for and buying more music. I couldn't stop. Every time I found a song or an artist, I was reminded of another great song or another amazing artist. And somehow I spent over $40.

The worst part? I know I don't have nearly all the music I want. Fortunately, I am limited to 1 G right now since all I have is an ipod shuffle. I can rationalize that I really don't need more music since it won't fit. What will I do, though, when I get the iphone? That date is quickly arriving. (Yippee!) That sucker has 8 G! (Yippee!)

What will I do with myself?

Observations Made Between DIA and ABQ

• Airplane seat belts have extenders for people who don't fit in them otherwise.
• I like flying; I don't like flying in a hot metal tube with people who need to shower.
• It really galls me to pay $15 for my one suitcase, both ways. If those $30 were just added to my ticket price, I'd probably be okay with it.
• One should not bring a tuna fish sandwich on board to eat during a flight.
• There is television on planes now. The most fascinating channel is the one that shows this thing called Live Map. It updates every minute or so with the speed, altitude and progress of the plane toward its destination. I watched our trip from Denver to Castle Rock to Colorado Springs to Pueblo to the border to Santa Fe to Albuquerque. Our top speed was 574 mph and our highest altitude was 34,054 feet, but not at the same time.
  

Open Letters

Dear Apartment Manager:

I understand that you cannot control everything that happens in and around this complex. However, neither can I and it's not my job. It is unfair to me, a responsible resident, to keep locking up the fitness center and pool due to the irresponsibility of a few residents. Find a way to keep these facilities open on a regular basis or you can pay for a bike, gym membership and a pool membership for my family. Furthermore, when my lease is up in February, this may be the determining factor in whether I sign another one here or look elsewhere.

Sincerely Yours,
Disgruntled Resident


Dear Irresponsible Residents:

You suck. It's pathetic that you can't or won't or don't control your children. Letting them throw pool furniture into the pool is unacceptable. Letting them throw rocks into the pool is unacceptable. And to whomever continues breaking into the business center and messing with the computers -- I've got an extra special dose of 'You Suck' right here, just for you. It's big and hairy and gangrenous. Enjoy.

This is ridiculous. It's enough to make a rational, peaceful-minded person like myself begin wishing destruction upon you all. And that's saying something. I'm going to strongly recommend that your rents be raised accordingly to pay for the bike, gym membership and pool membership that my family requires since you and your disgusting hellions can't act like respectable members of society.

Also, if I personally see one of your disgusting hellions intentionally destroying complex property, I'm going to drag them by their ridiculous hair and nasty pants to your front door and drop them there so you can answer for yourself. And then I'm writing you a referral for Super Nanny. Idiots.

Sincerely,
Angry Neighbor

A Blank Screen & What's Happening

I'm sitting here on the sofa with my laptop. I'm listening to Norah Jones and just finished an iced coffee. The ceiling fan is on and I turned on the air conditioner as soon as I woke up.

My plans for the day include working out to Britney Spears and Eminem. After that, I'll go swimming for a bit and then lie by the pool, reading. At some point I have to go to the store and buy butter, heavy whipping cream and a new pastry cutter. I sliced up strawberries and set them up with sugar in the refrigerator yesterday. I will make shortcake and real whipped cream this evening, hence the shopping trip.

We went to Idaho Springs yesterday and took a walk through its little downtown area. 'We' are Jennifer, Caleb, Jonathan, Charissa, Elizabeth, Christopher, Noah, Adam and myself. Also, Abby, the new, very cute, very sweet dog. We took photos of flowers, an old train, artistic signs and each others' silly faces. We had lunch at Beau Jo's Pizza. It is delicious food.

I had dinner last night with a new friend. It's the third dinner we've had together. We shall see where this goes. It seems to be going somewhere good.

I'm flying to Albuquerque on Friday. I have reserved a hotel room near Old Town. I'll have the kids with me from Friday afternoon to Sunday morning. I am planning for us to walk to Old Town and see what is appealing. We will swim and play and catch up on some snuggling.

I turn 30 this week. I've been thinking about it a lot, but in sort of a vague, distracted way. I have no philosophical tidbits to put down here about this milestone. I'm not dreading it, I'm not expecting a big revelation and I don't feel a sense of urgency to accomplish major goals. It's another birthday. It just is.

Now my screen is no longer blank and you know what's happening here. And I feel a little better, having written something.

Summer

My kids are gone. They'll be gone for a while. It's good and it's bad. I desperately needed some down time. The down side of down time is that I miss them.

The week before the kids left, I took off work and focused entirely on them. I went to Samuel's kindergarten graduation. It was very, very cute. We had a celebratory lunch on the last day of school. They rode their bikes, scooter and skateboards. We took advantage of free summer movies, went to the aquarium downtown, played in the pool and at the park. They slept over with their cousins, played with dry ice, courtesy of the Cool Uncle Levi. And then I packed them up and sent them off with their dad. It was a good send off.

I breathed deeply, cleaned the house thoroughly and sat down to watch television programming considered inappropriate for children. And now it's time to focus on myself.

So far, I'm keeping busy. There is kickball, there are dinners and drinks with friends. There is running and weightlifting. There is soaking in the hot tub at midnight with a glass of wine, the stars and no worries. There is a lot of reading, coffee and music. It's a good time.

Struggling

I want to come back here and write. I feel the need to write. But I have nothing to say. I never thought this would happen. Is this what it's like to have writer's block?

When I started back to school a couple of years ago, I enrolled in an essay writing class. I really enjoyed that class. I missed it when the semester ended. It's what inspired me start this blog, actually.

One of my first assignments in that class was to talk about my reasons for writing. The professor wanted us to discuss creative writing specifically. I wrote that I don't like creative writing. I don't want to write fiction, short stories or novels. I usually have too many other ideas floating around in my head to focus on things that aren't true.

But now I have nothing to talk about and I'm stuck.

Exhaustion and Neglect

I'm still alive, just overwhelmed. My house is a mess. A big one. I've had all I can handle just keeping up with all the kids' end-of-year activities, field trips, ceremonies and perks. It will be over soon, the kids will go away for a while and I will have time to re-charge. It can't come soon enough.

The Business of Half Siblings

This is so much harder than I thought it would be. I never wanted to care this much about anything the ex-husband did, so long as he didn't mistreat our children or expect me to make nice to the mistress. When the mistress went away, half of my worries went away. But then he started dating the new wife and he married her and I had a whole bunch of new worries.

It was weird to find out that they were expecting. It was weirder when she started to show. The most surreal moment was when I saw a picture from her 3D ultrasound and the baby's nose looked exactly like Solomon's. Until then, I could push it to the back of my mind because the baby was still a formless, genderless being hidden away in her belly.

I was texting with my ex-sister-in-law (whom I still like) two nights ago about Solomon's birthday. The next morning I got another text message from her that said the ex-husband and the new wife had gone to the hospital because her water broke. All day I kept waiting for the text message that said the baby had been born and was, therefore 'real' in my mind. 'Real' in the sense that it now had a name and an identity, like my own children. The last I knew when I went to bed was that she was getting an epidural and not progressing past 3 cm.

When I woke up today I had a message that read "It's a boy, born at 12:30 am. He weighs 8 lbs, 2 oz and he's 20.5 inches long." It doesn't get much more real than that. Or so I thought. And then I heard the name. He has the same first name as my boys. And his middle name, which is undoubtedly the name they will call him, follows the same pattern that my children's middle names do.

My 3 children, for whom I live and breathe, are included in a naming pattern with this child. Their child. My 3 children are his siblings. They share DNA with him.

I've been trying to figure out why this bothers me and I think I have it: I don't want to care what the ex-husband does but he's made it so that I have to. He's had a child that will directly impact my children's lives.

The easier bit to figure out is equality. What I mean is that the new wife professed to love my children like they were her own. And I can believe she did. But that changed in the moment that she had her biological child because now she does have her own. Call me a cynic, but I find it impossible to believe that she'll love and treat all 4 of these children equally. I just do.

It's easier to believe that the ex-husband will love his 4 children equally. I can put myself into an imaginary situation in which I have an imaginary child with an imaginary partner and I can imagine that I love that child just as I love the 3 I already have. I can imagine that. The problem on the ex-husband's side is that my 3 children will see things differently. After all, this child has both of his parents together all the time. This child won't be traveling 400 miles to see his father during school breaks.

My children, at this point, are happy about the new baby. They are excited to go spend the summer there and play with him. Because they are happy, I am happy for them. Babies are cute and sweet and exciting. No matter my feelings on the subject, he is their half-brother and I don't expect them to ignore that relationship. But I dread the day they realize this may not be all it's cracked up to be.

Finally, I am grateful that this child missed being born on my brother's birthday, even if it was only by 30 minutes. I am more grateful still that this child wasn't born on my child's birthday, which is tomorrow. But that doesn't keep me from wishing he was born in another month, or even a different season.

A Moral Dilemma

Solomon and I had a brief conversation about war, soldiers and death the other day. I don't remember all the details of it. We have a lot of conversations like this; it's the way my boys are.

But Solomon asked something that he's never asked before, something I've never heard a child his age ask. He said, "What makes us the good guys? If American soldiers go into another country and kill people, aren't they bad guys then?"

Today ...

I slept until 11:30, made up for sleeping 4 hours in the previous 36.

I finished watching Season 2 of Big Love.

I ran barefoot through a massive thunderstorm, soaking my clothes, my shopping bags and what little hair I have.

I unpacked $30 worth of fresh produce in my kitchen while listening to A Prairie Home Companion.

I discovered the combined poetic tastes of a bottle riesling, a carton of fresh raspberries and a wedge of gouda.

I bought a cast iron stove top grill. I can't wait to cook a thick, medium rare steak on it.

I heard a song I haven't listened to or even thought about in almost 3 years. It brought back a lot of memories.

Today ... Today was a good day.

Sunflower Market

There is a Sunflower Market within walking distance of my apartment. I've taken forever to get there but I finally went two weeks ago and I went again today. I freaking love that place.

I was kind of surprised at its size; it's very small compared with other major grocery stores. But I quickly realized why. They sell ingredients for making meals from scratch, not pre-packaged, processed meals. Sure, there are some packaged foods available but there are very few of them. About 2/3 of the store is fresh produce. The selection is great and the prices really are silly, like they advertise.

A lot of things there are more expensive than they'd be at a larger grocery store. I probably won't ever buy very much of the meat or dairy products but it would be fine in a pinch.

I'm excited about this because it's encouraging me to serve more fresh fruits and vegetables and less of the unhealthy stuff. Obviously, we could really benefit from that. I'll also be looking for new recipes to use produce I've never really bought, like eggplants and butternut squash.

Another thing that really impresses me is their attitude toward reducing waste. Unlike the other grocery stores I've usually frequented, reusable grocery bags are encouraged instead of treated as an inconvenience. You get a $0.10 credit for every reusable bag you bring in. And when the register prints out the receipt it prints on both sides! So simple but just not done any where else.

The best part: the dairy section has little baskets full of cheese bits left over from the slicing and packaging of larger blocks of cheese. You can buy a couple of ounces to try so you don't spend $10 to find out if you like dill havarti. I happen to know now that I love, love, love dill havarti and I only spent $1.75 to find that out.

Yay for Sunflower Market!

Mother's Day

I can't believe I forgot to post this. It's the text of the fill-in-the-blank card Samuel made for me at school.

My Mother

My mother is very kind .
She is 20 feet tall.
She weights 565 pounds.
Her hair is blond bald .
Her eyes are bule .
She likes to play with me best of all.
She does not like wen I be mean .
I like when she says " I love you ."
I love her because she sum times plays with me .

Egg on My Face

Last night I put at load of jeans into the washing machine. Just as I closed the lid, Miriam said, "Wait! My chapstick is still in my pocket!" I dug through the soaking wet jeans and found the pair she described. Sure enough, her chapstick was in the pocket. Fortunately, no water had leaked into it.

I then proceeded to lecture her on responsibility and always checking her pockets when she gets undressed. I explained how things can be ruined in the laundry and how the laundry can be ruined by things left in.

This morning, Miriam went to find her favorite jeans in the dryer and guess what she found? My chapstick.

It's Not a Stomach Virus

It's pure, unadulterated evil, that's what it is. Unfortunately, no one makes pills to cure that yet.

We went to the doctor last week because Solomon's puking still wouldn't stop. They did a strep test and urinalysis that were both negative. We sent off stool samples and tested for several things. All negative. He has a lot of symptoms of a lot of things, but they don't all add up to one thing or another. This is so frustrating.

We cut out dairy for the last week and he went to the school nurse with a stomachache today. He proceeded to vomit, a lot. I picked him and we spent the afternoon watching cartoons. He's fine now.

We're using Zofran to control the nausea and vomiting but that's not a feasible long-term solution. I don't know what we'll do now.

I Have No Words

Because it's okay to slap your wife, but only if she spends too much money.

McDonald's vs. Whataburger

So the 1 Adult, 5 Children started to go a little nuts today. It's chilly and cloudy and threatening rain. The backyard is muddy from last night's rain. I thought the next best thing would be a trip to McDonald's for lunch and playing. Notice, I said thought. Past tense.

We got off to a good start. The cashier took our order just fine, repeated it back to me and everything was right. That's no small feat considering that there are 6 of us and a couple of the small people changed their minds and no one wanted the same toppings on their cheeseburgers. We moved on to fill our cups while our food was prepared. No one spilled anything. Yeah for small victories.

Then we chose a table. That's when things went a little haywire. We opened the cheeseburgers and Solomon said, "Hey, mine is supposed to be ketchup only." It was clearly covered in onions. And not the big, round slices that are easily picked off; no, these were teeny tiny, minced onion pieces.

So I took it back and apologetically asked for another one. When I got back to the table, it not only had onions on it, but also pickles and mustard. :sigh: Back to the counter again. I smiled, unapologetically this time, and said, "This still isn't ketchup only." That time, I checked the burger before going back to the table and it was just ketchup. Baby steps, right? Solomon took one bite and said, "This tastes like it's only grease. Did they throw it in the french fry cooker?" We blotted the grease off of it with napkins. Three napkins. Gross.

A few minutes later, Solomon said, "When I get older and I start thinking about where I want to work, I'm going to remember this and not work at McDonald's. I'm going to work at Whataburger instead."

P.S. This McDonald's also has the worst public wifi ever. Seriously, ever. Also, half of these children with me are too old for this. They are bored.

1 Adult, 5 Children

A summary of our weekend:

Meals prepared: 7
Snacks served: 5
Time outs enforced: 8
15 minute increments of audio/visual entertainment removed: 3
Crying fits: 7
Reminders to use the restroom: 43? (I really don't know.)
Walks taken: 1
Walks missed due to rain/headache/cold: 2
Playgrounds visited: 2
Children caught playing on the forbidden treadmill: 3
Birds' nests built: 1
Sword fights refereed banished: 5
Loads of laundry done: 4
Teeth brushed: it's a never-ending job
Hands washed: no one knows
Dandelions picked lovingly: 7
Full-on belly laughs: innumerable
Hugs: too many to count

And you know what? All the crying fits, time outs, sword fighting and treadmill discovery were worth the last three.

Righteous Indignation

Samuel is Samuel at home but he's occasionally Sam at school. I'm okay with it, as long as he is, so it's no big deal. At least, I didn't think it was. Until Samuel came home and said, "My friend Samantha stole my nickname! And she's a girl!"

Oh, the humanity!

Happy Star Wars Day

It was brought to my attention that today is Star Wars Day. May the fourth be with you.

The boy children loved this, Star Wars junkies that they are. Miriam didn't care. She was more excited that today's date can make a true mathematical equation: 5+4=9.

The Pukes, Pt. 2

One thing I forgot to discuss in the previous post -- stomach viruses this bad and this exhausting will also cause a person to re-evaluate the worst time periods of her life. Up to now, the worst weeks of my life consisted of the week I filed for The Divorce and the week we all had the flu. And I can say, without a doubt that the last month, especially the last 10 days, have trumped both of those.

Here's why: The Divorce sucked. For obvious reasons. But I could see how it would accomplish things in the long run. I knew I was becoming a stronger person and I knew I would be alright in the end. But this -- this serves no purpose. No one is benefiting from this. And maybe I just can't see it because I'm in the thick of it, but my peace of mind is shattered for a very long time. I will dread another stomach virus for as long as I can imagine right now.

This is worse than the flu, too. And here's why: with the flu, I could see signs of steady improvement after a point. Our fevers eventually went down, we stopped coughing every time we talked, our energy levels slowly increased and we stopped requiring Advil and Tylenol around the clock. But with this -- everything will seem fine for 12 hours, even 48 hours and then BAM! More puking. Also, with the flu, as long as we lay still with pillows and cool compresses and cough drops, we could enjoy talking, playing imagination games and watching tv. But with this, everything is a great big ball of awful horrendousness with no breaks and no end in sight.

So this is, officially, the worst week of my life.

The Pukes

You know what the pukes will do to a mother? One or two episodes will make her nervous, make her fear for the other children in the family and maybe a bit for herself. But she can generally deal with this, assuming it is short-lived and limited to one child.

But do you know what a month of on-and-off puking in three children will do to a mother? It will make her lose all hope of ever having a wholly healthy family again. That's what it will do, without a doubt.

It will cause her never to sleep peacefully. It will cause her to question every sideways look from her children, every too-quiet moment, every wince of discomfort and every slightly suspicious cough. She will be reduced to pestering said children with constant inquiries as to the state of their digestive tracts. She will launch into lengthy diatribes about the nominal differences among nausea, stomach rumbling, stabbing pains, dull aches, the need for a bowel movement and simple hunger pangs.

The mother dealing with a month of on-and-off puking will stock up on baking soda and white vinegar, a pallet at a time, terrified that she may be stuck at home with vomiting children and no means of sanitizing or deodorizing her home. Her pantry will forever be packed with 7-Up, Jell-o, Gatorade, chicken bouillon and saltines. She'll also never be short on the components of the infamous BRAT diet, plus carrots.

This mother will develop a sophisticated means of doing laundry, involving pre-soaking, soaking with the aforementioned baking soda and white vinegar, long, hot washing with detergent and twice rinsing. She will cease folding towels and wash cloths, opting instead to leave them placed strategically around the home. This enables her to grab one at a moment's notice, thereby catching vomit before it hits the carpet.

She will begin hanging trash bags off the doorknobs so that plastic garbage cans can also be placed thoughtfully throughout the home. If there are not sufficient garbage cans to assuage her anxiety, she will pull out massive plastic bowls to fill in the other spots. All vomit receptacles will be sprinkled liberally with her baking soda. This serves two purposes: odor absorption and splatter prevention.

This overwrought mother will even begin to question her sanity. As much as she dearly loves these puking children, she will have fleeting glimpses of a road not taken: a road without children, a road without children who puke for a month. She will begin to dream about the coming summer -- heretofore dreaded because the fruit of her womb is expected to spend the entirety 350 miles away -- with an anticipation she has never known until now.

This poor mother will develop stress headaches that no amount of Advil and caffeine can banish. She will move about as if in a dream, wanting to cry and not crying because her children already feel awful enough. They shouldn't see their mother cry like this. Also, crying is not known to do anything helpful for headaches or vomiting.

That's what The Pukes will do to a mother. In case you were wondering.

Dentist Update

Miriam did very well! I am so relieved. She took the valium, had nitrous oxide and didn't even notice when they injected her gums with anesthetic. Wahoo! It took quite a while to do the work that she needed but she didn't complain. I was worried that she would be in pain tonight after the anesthesia wore off, but she hasn't said anything about it. I am so proud of her! We still have to go back in a couple of weeks for one more, much smaller cavity. But we're done with the majority of her work.

Samuel had x-rays and cleaning done. He has no cavities! We got to see his x-rays and they show his adult teeth ready to come in during the next several months. He's anxious to have his first loose tooth but it could still be a while; he didn't get his first teeth until about 9 months old so he's a little late in that area.

Solomon also had x-rays and cleaning. He has one small cavity and needs his molars sealed so we'll do that next week. The dentist said we need to see an orthodontist for an evaluation. Solomon's upper bicuspids are coming in a bit high and are not aligned with his other teeth. He also has some flaring out of his molars on the top. I really hope we don't have to do braces but that remains to be seen.

All in all, it was a good trip. Any dentist visit that doesn't include crying and hyperventilating is a good one, in my book!

Tough Times

We've had a run of tough days lately. I can see the proverbial light at the end of the proverbial tunnel but what I really want is for this last week to be proverbial instead of actual.

It started last weekend with a stomach virus that hit us for the second time in 3 weeks. And it just would not go away. I haven't slept well in over a week because I've expected to be woken by ominous coughing and gagging. It's hard to relax.

Miriam has a large cavity that has to be filled tomorrow. She's nervous. I'm nervous. I'm trying really hard not to show how nervous I am because I know that will only make it worse. I have to wake her tomorrow morning at 4:00 if she's going to eat any breakfast because she can't eat for 4 hours before the procedure. And then I'll be giving her some Valium before we head out the door. I really hate this.

Solomon has been extremely stressed. He's exhibiting some symptoms that worry me. I'm not sure of everything that's going on because he refuses to tell me. We went to the doctor to get some guidance and for now we're just watching him. I just want it to go away.

Summer can't come soon enough. We need a break from school and our whole routine really. Sigh.

What a Thinker!

Samuel has had a recent problem with using potty words too often, in an attempt to make people laugh. He gets pretty gross with it so the other night I told him that from then on, any time he used inappropriate potty words (i.e., other than referring to actually using the bathroom) he would have a time out.

Today, while signing the kids out of the after school program, I heard him all the way across the cafeteria, sing-songing, "Pee-pee, poo-poo, diarrhea!" Gross. After he came back to me with his backpack, I told him he'd have a time out as soon as we got home. His reply? "Mom, instead of that, can I have my time out tonight after I'm in my bed and asleep?"

Remember This?

We had a massive thunderstorm at the end of last summer. It rained for a day and a half straight and we did some serious wading afterward. Here's the link to that post and a picture.

Well, that area looked exactly like that again today, only it was melted snow. I'm not kidding. It snowed from Friday morning until last night. When it does that and the temperature is just above freezing and the following day is 60F, you get a ton of snow run off.

We attempted to play outside for a bit -- no wading, though. It was a bit surreal. We had on snow boots and gloves, but skipped out on the coats, hats and scarves.

Why I Don't Like Today

• Miriam and Samuel started puking last night.
• Miriam and Samuel started having diarrhea this morning.
• I'm not feeling so hot.
• Solomon denies feeling sick but I'm just waiting for that shoe to drop.
• I'm somewhat hungry but limiting our diet today in light of our earlier gastrointestinal distress.
• I'm worried about whether the boys can go to school tomorrow and Miriam can keep her dental appointment.
• The weather was beautiful today -- 60F and sunny -- but we were too sick to go any where.
• We did go outside to play in the snow for a bit and Samuel puked.

Why I Like Today

• I didn't have to go any where in the 7" of snow.
• My house is really, really clean.
• I love my new bedroom.
• I made a fantastic chocolate cake with fabulous icing, all from scratch.
• The fantastic chocolate cake with fabulous icing is delicious.
• We had pizza rolls and baby carrots for dinner -- tasty and easy.
• We watched The Goonies last night and the kids liked it so much, they watched it twice more today.
• I shaved my head again.
• I also cut the boys' hair and Samuel asked for a mohawk. He's very cool and very cute.
• I watched 2 cute movies on TBS -- ones I haven't seen before.
• I'm now watching Bridget Jones: Edge of Reason. I have only seen the first one and I assume this one is as good as the first. Actually, the books are really good, the movies are only decent and only because of Colin Firth; Renee Zellweger is just so-so. In any other movie Renee Zellweger is really annoying with her sourpuss-squinty face. But now I'm rambling, rather than listing reasons why I like today. Moving along ...
• I had really good coffee with half and half this morning. I don't remember the last time I did that. It's been a very long time.
• I have lit lots of wonderful little candles, for no other reason than because I just like them.
• I can feel that wisdom tooth trying to expand a bit more but it's not as painful as it was the last time it tried to expand.
• I am not going to work on Monday; of course, that's because I'm taking Miriam to the dentist but I have a much better gut feeling about this dentist than I did about the last one. I'm big on gut feelings lately.
• I'm about to begin re-watching Arrested Development. I finished the whole series earlier this week and I've been told it's even better the second time, so here I go.
  

I think that's it. As if that weren't enough.

Chores List

At least Miriam acknowledges that I do a lot around here.

Breakfast in Bed

I'm not a fan. I like my bed a lot and it makes me nervous to have food in it because food is messy. But I woke this morning to Solomon shaking me. He pointed to the dresser and said, "I made your breakfast!"

So I sat up and ate it, very carefully. He had toasted two waffles for me and washed some strawberries. He even brought in syrup and butter and a glass of milk. And to top it all off, he even made breakfast for himself and the other two children. Such a sweet kid.

My Thoughts on Being Bald

I like it more than I thought I would. I stopped wearing scarves, bandanas and hats because they itch and I don't care what people think of my bald head. I didn't do it for them anyway.

My hair grows pretty fast. It's already long enough to get messed up. I'm not kidding. I woke up this morning and there was a spot on the side of my head that was all smooshy looking from lying on it. I fixed it with aloe vera gel.

I've used a lot of aloe vera gel in the last few days. I sunburned my scalp on Saturday. When I did this, it occurred to me that I'd probably get a sunburned head at some point but I kind of forgot about it. Then Jennifer and I went to the Mile High Marketplace and walked around for several hours. I wore a hat initially but then my head started itching and it got hot so I took it off. I should have applied some of the $2 sunblock I bought.

People look at me differently since I shaved my head. People who know me look at me like they suddenly don't know me, and not in an I-don't-recognize-you way. It's more like an I-didn't-know-you-had-the-guts-for-this way. Total strangers look at me like I'm a much more interesting person than I really am.

I truly think that hair is just hair now. I'm thinking about dying it some outrageous color because if I don't like it, I can just shave it all off again. This is fun. Also, I'm fully aware that I would probably feel entirely differently about my baldness if I could not grow my hair back again.

Sick of Hearing ...

About ways to 'beat the recession.' I hate that phrase because it's being over-used and because it's inaccurate. You don't beat a recession. You ride it out. You save your money and you budget and you live sensibly; basically what everyone and their dog should have been doing for the last 20 years anyway. If they had, there mightn't have been a recession to beat.

Spring Snow

It's sort of oxymoronic, but we've had 3 'winter' storms since spring began 2½ weeks ago. The National Weather Service has issued formal warnings with time limits and everything.

The first was the worst. The school district canceled school preemptively because of it. This is the same school district that hasn't canceled school all winter and only called one delayed start. The kids and I were on our way to school when a neighbor and the father of one of Samuel's classmates stopped me and told me school was closed. I hadn't even bothered to check because it was 35 F, with no current precipitation and no wind. I figured that if the storm really got bad, they'd close school early. Oh, well. So the kids spent the day with Jennifer and her boys, which they loved.

The snow started at about 8:30 and picked up considerably all morning. At work, people were calling in and rescheduling their appointments faster than anyone could answer the phones. Finally, the afternoon schedule was completely cleared and closed off. I left at lunch time and went to Jennifer's house.

I had planned to pick up the kids and go home to ride out the storm but I quickly changed my mind. The snow and wind were so bad, I could only see about a ½ mile ahead of me. I skidded a few feet several times and twice thought I was going to go off the road. It was not fun. It took me an hour to get to Jenn's house; that drive is usually 15 to 20 minutes. So we camped out there until the next morning.

Blizzards are lots of fun the next day, though. We went sledding and had a blast. It was the kids' third or fourth time to go sledding but they've never gone on a hill as big as we used this time. It was really high and really fast and really fun.

There is something simple about sledding and playing in the snow. Being bundled up a la Christmas Story-I-can't-put-arms-down! is a novel experience as an adult. Tramping through snow half way to my knees is hard but it's a fantastic work out. And when I fell, I didn't care. What's to care about? And there's nothing quite like getting a big shove down a 20 foot hill and not having any control over where I stop or if I go flying face first into the snow.

Purging and Organizing

I undertook a huge project when my internet failed. I have a massive walk-in closet that has slowly shrunk in size during the year I have lived here. I started to fear for my safety when walking into the closet and I decided it was time to fix that.

The first step was to e-mail the ex-husband's new wife and tell her that the next time the kids went to spend time with them, I would pack up everything the kids need in Albuquerque and they were welcome to keep it all there. I realized that every time the kids come back, their bags basically stay packed until the next time when the exact same stuff makes the trip back to Albuquerque. Senseless, I tell you. And it takes up my closet space.

So then, I went through each box in my closet and sorted, tossed and organized mercilessly. If it's not useful or very meaningful, I threw it out. I was holding on to a bunch of useless garbage and I hadn't even realized it. I lost track of how many trips I made to the dumpster with two big bags of trash each time. I also filled the cargo space of the vehicle with stuff to donate to Goodwill. I even got the kids in on the action and made them pick out toys to give away.

When I was finished with our bedrooms and closets, I still wasn't quite satisfied so I went on to the bathrooms and kitchen. I have two more bags to take to Goodwill after all of that and I've tossed another half dozen bags into the dumpster.

As a reward for all my hard work, I'm re-doing my bedroom. I found a duvet cover and pillow shams that I really like, added a couple of throw pillows I made and one I couldn't make and some new curtains. It's coming together and I love it.

Part of this project is redistributing furniture. I have a headboard and dresser set that belonged to Great Grandma Eddy. I've had them since I got married 10 years ago. They're special to me because they belonged to her but they take up a lot of room in my already too small bedroom. The solution: give them to Jennifer and Caleb who need furniture for their guest room. So we are doing that this afternoon.

I was going to invest in a small chest of drawers for our pajamas and things that don't hang in the closet but I realized I don't need to. As a result of purging my closet contents, I have more space for clothes -- can you believe it?! -- so I bought a hanging organizer to hold those things.

The last phase of this spring cleaning and organizing will be to go through the kids' toys again while they are still gone. They did well and picked two medium-sized boxes worth of stuff to give away. But they still have too much stuff; with Samuel's birthday party coming in a couple of weeks and the other two having birthdays next month and this summer, we'll have way too many toys. Time to toss and give away.

I end up tossing and organizing roughly once a year and it always amazes me how much stuff I can collect in 12 to 18 months. It's staggering. And I am, by no means, a pack rat. I've never gone through each and every part of my house all at once, though. This feels pretty amazing.

Miriam vs. Princess Leia: The Battle of the Cooties

Miriam has complained for years that she is surrounded by too many boys. She has two brothers, two male cousins that we spend a lot of time with and in Texas, our best friends were another mom and her two boys. No girls, save for another friend and her daughter that we didn't see as often.

Miriam has asked me repeatedly why she doesn't have a sister. I tell her that's just the way things are. She's really excited about her new step-sibling-to-be because it might be a girl. For Miriam's sake, I hope it is. I really do.

A couple of weeks ago, Miriam was again bemoaning the fact that she has little girl interaction and the following conversation ensued:

Miriam: Boys have stinky cooties. They rub off on me. Princess Leia must have a lot of boy cooties, too. She has as many boys around her as I do.

Me: Who has more contact with boy cooties, you or Princess Leia?

Miriam: :thinking hard: Probably Princess Leia because Darth Vader has worse boy cooties than Solomon and Samuel.

Busy, Busy, Busy!

I've been absent from the internet lately. Something is wrong with my router or my modem and my wireless connection is failing. I'm not sure what the deal is but it has severely hampered my posting capabilities. I've been too busy to figure it out so my internet access has been limited to lunch breaks at work and right now at Einstein Brothers.

At first, I was going to summarize the last three weeks in one big post but then I realized I don't have the energy for that. It's tough to organize that many days' worth of news into one cohesive post.

Long story short, I have taken advantage of the extra time not spent on the internet to get some stuff done around the house and -- ahem -- go to bed earlier. It's been great. I feel so productive.

Nice Moments

I took the kids out to dinner last night for no reason really. I just felt like surprising them and they love Red Robin so we went. We had a great time laughing and talking about their school day and my work day. At one point, I said, "I love you guys so much. You know that right?" Solomon looked at me and said, "That's the thing you say to us the most!"

I was really happy to hear that from him. Sometimes I feel like so much of my time is spent nagging them to pick up their shoes and do their homework and brush their teeth that they might look back on their childhoods and wonder why I was so uptight. I know I can get pretty intense about that stuff but if they're not hung up on it now, maybe they won't be in 20 years, either.

What is Wrong With People?

I just watched as a woman left her mother sitting at the curb in her wheel chair while she moved her car to an empty portion of the parking lot. Then she came back to get her mother and pushed the chair half way around the building to the car. Why did they have to do this? Because someone with no business parking in a handicapped parking space did just that. This woman and her mother had no room to maneuver the wheel chair in a regular parking space. Seriously, what is wrong with people?

People Watching

My vehicle is having extensive work done on both the brakes (Yes, again. In December they just made it functional with a minimum of time and money.) and the engine. This means I am without a car today and hanging out near the mechanic shop. They have a courtesy service that would take me home but I told them I'm going to hang out in the area for a while.

I'm doing this for a few reasons. One, my living room is collapsing under piles of unfolded laundry and I don't want to look at them any more. Two, the library is near here and I will walk over there in a bit to return some CDs. Three, I have a ton of household management stuff to do: grocery listing, to do listing, schedule organization, bill organization, etc. and if I hang out at home, I'll get distracted by the laundry avalanche. (The plan is to get that stuff done while I sit here but so far, it's not getting done. Go figure.) Finally, and ultimately, I think I deserve a nice morning out to drink a caramel macchiato, listen to music and people watch.

So here I sit in the coffee and bagel shop. It's rather interesting to be here for an extended period of time, rather than running in quickly for a latte and running out again. This is a great place to people watch.

I've seen multiple business schmoozing sessions. It's easy to spot them; business casual, some glossy brochures and artificially broad smiles. The longer they sit, the wider the smiles, the harder the sell. It's interesting to listen to a salesperson on a commission wrap it up and get the powers-that-be to sign on the dotted line. I'm terrible at that kind of thing. I'm so grateful that the only thing I have to sell is a flu vaccine.

A coffee klatch sat down across from me just now. It appears to be a family: a woman, her daughters and one of her daughter's daughters. They are the sort that looks like they worked hard at looking like they worked out this morning. The baby is cute. She's having a bottle while the women have something that is not coffee. I guess that would make them a soda klatch or maybe a fruit smoothie klatch.

Before they sat down, a couple was sitting there and discussing their mutual misunderstanding of an emotionally charged subject. They both had that frustrated, tight-lipped expression that says, "Why can't you just see this the way I do?" I think she was upset at the way he handled a phone coversation with an ex. I'm glad I don't have those conversations any more.

Out the window beside me has to be the most entertaining thing I've seen all morning. It's a group of three people, two women and a man. One woman is dressed normally. The other is wearing short shorts, a button down shirt and a puffy ski vest. On her head is a massive faux fur hat with ear flaps tied up on top. The man is wearing pajama pants covered with what looks like a stenciled design of confetti. He has no shirt and his skin looks as if he hasn't worn a shirt for the better part of the last decade. He is wearing a hat that looks like it belonged to Gilligan before it washed ashore and someone sponged it with neon paints. They are all carrying 10-ft long dried reeds. I assume they are sitting outside because the man is not wearing a shirt and because the reeds probably wouldn't be welcome inside, although I'm not completely sure of that.

Well. I'm not sure anything else here could top that so I should quit while I'm ahead. I should also quit this because I have a long list of stuff to do and no one is going to do it for me.

You Can't Make This Up

Unless you're a comic book writer, that is.

Wanna See Me Bald?

I'm volunteering to have my head shaved at a St. Baldrick's event and, in the process, raising money to fund childhood cancer research. I've been thinking about it for a while and I'm finally just going for it. There's no time like the present, right?

Anyway, I'm excited about it. I'm a firm believer in 'every little bit counts' so any help I can give will be given and I am happy to do it. Plus, I'm excited to add shaving my head to the list of stuff I've done.

Here is a link for more information on my event. Psst ... you can also make a donation to the cause.

Diabetes

Mom, did you know that sometimes coyotes have a disease called diabetes? And if a coyote bites a person, that person can get diabetes, too. Diabetes is a poison disease and you can die if you have it. You don't want to get diabetes, Mom.

Or so says Samuel.

What We Did Today

After I spent a couple of hours spring cleaning, I decided we should take advantage of the beautiful weather. So we drove a few minutes to Cherry Creek State Park and played on the beach. This was our view for 2 hours. I love living here.

Possibly the Cutest Thing Ever

Drama King

I can't help but laugh at Solomon several times per week. He is so dramatic about illness and injury that he becomes convinced he is knocking at death's door on a regular basis. He just came to me, gasping for breath, and wrote a note that says, "Samuel brok my ryb. He hit me with his nakel." When asked what a 'nakel' is, he croaked, "His knuckle." I laughed and he made a face of impotent fury.

Now he is lying on the sofa with an ice pack on his side and looking very sorry for himself. For the record, he provoked Samuel into wrestling and he doesn't even have a red mark on his skin.

Last night we had dinner at Chick-Fil-A and Solomon refused to eat anything from the fruit cups I had ordered. He was anxious to go play with his siblings and cousins but I told him he had to choose 5 pieces of fruit to eat first. He nibbled on half an apple chunk and claimed it had given him a headache.

Solomon once told me his appendix had just exploded. I told him that if that had happened, he'd have been lying on the floor writhing in agony. He let it drop then, but he called me at work the next day and said, "This time I'm sure my appendix exploded. I can feel it." I had him jump up and down and when I didn't hear screaming I felt pretty sure he was okay. It's a good thing I'm not as much a hypochondriac as he is, or we would be in the doctor's office every other day.

Sure, You Will

Nervous 8-year-old-boy: Am I getting a shot today? Or a stick in my throat?

Me: No, the doctor just needs to talk to you and your mom.

Boy: Are you sure? 'Cause I don't like that stick in my throat. You know, the one that makes you want to throw up? And then you do throw up. I don't like that.

Me: Yes, I'm sure we don't have to do that today.

Boy: Good, because if you were going to do that to me, I'd just run away. I'd run away to the Big 5 store.

Me: Big 5 is across the street and there's a lot of traffic. That might be dangerous.

Boy: No, because if I run fast enough, I can fly over all the cars. I think sometimes I could fly over the tallest building in the world.

Me: tries -- unsuccessfully -- to stifle laughter

Goose Stepping

I don't know if the geese are on their way back north for the spring or what but flocks of them have set up camp on our parking lot at work. They are eating their fill of whatever they eat and the by product is ending up all over the parking lot. It's so attractive. And I'm having the time of my life stepping over and around it. Nasty birds.

He's On To Me

The Spider Spray is actually Bath & Body Works Warm Vanilla Sugar body spray. Jennifer gave me a set of lotion, body wash, spray and cream for Christmas. I've been using the lotion and Solomon commented that I smell like Spider Spray. Uh-oh.

Overheard

Mother to her daughter at the chess tournament: It's okay, honey. That was a hard board. You'll get an easier one next time.

The Chess Tournament

Solomon played in his first chess tournament yesterday. He's recently become really interested in the game and will play anyone who takes the time. He joined the chess club at school on Wednesday mornings and he's learning a lot there.

I taught him the basic moves 3 years ago and he started beating me shortly afterward. Granted, I am the last person who could be called good at chess but he was not yet 6 at the time! Now it's gotten to the point that he surprises me with some of his moves, ones that I had no idea were coming. Which, again, doesn't take a lot when I'm playing chess, but still. Can you tell I'm proud of him?

I was really impressed yesterday. Solomon is an impulsive kid and doesn't always listen when it counts. Since this was his first time in a setting like this, I was worried that he'd miss out on important instructions and be sorry about it later. But he didn't. He sat right in front at the players' meeting before all the action began and he soaked up every bit of it. He was calm and focused.

He lost his first two games and I was worried that he'd start to get down on himself after that. But he impressed me again. The tournament directors did a good job of constantly reminding the kids that this was all for fun, that they should do their best and enjoy the games, that they might learn something from the games they lost.

And then Solomon won the third game. I've never seen a happier smile on my child's face. It was a great feeling, for both of us. He lost his fourth game and won the last. I was floored by his composure during the whole thing. It was a long day with a lot of waiting around for pairings and standings to be posted but he kept his cool through the majority of it.

He received a participation trophy and lots of valuable pointers for the future. And it was nice to find out that of the three kids who beat Solomon, one was undefeated all day and another only lost one of his games.

How Did They Get to be This Cool?

Samuel and Solomon like Linkin Park. (Obviously, I censor what they listen to.) All three kids are well on their way to appreciating music as much as I do.

Miriam is compassionate. Her teacher told me she translates for the child in her class who knows very little English.

Solomon wants to be a movie director. He's making a movie in his head already. Every once in a while he tells me about a new part in it.

Miriam wants to be an artist when she grows up. I tell her that she already is and she beams. One of her art projects was chosen to be displayed in a shopping mall near here.

Solomon really loves chess. A few weeks ago he said, "Chess club is kind of a dorky thing to do, isn't it? That's okay, I like being a nerd."

Samuel has a mental running list of his favorite songs. Every once in a while one comes on the radio and he dances along or plays air guitar. Sometimes he informs me that one of his favorite songs has changed or he gets mad at me for changing the station in the middle of a new favorite song.

The kids' favorite shows are on the Discovery Channel. They love Dirty Jobs, Man vs. Wild, Mythbusters and Cash Cab.

Invasion of the Radio Snatchers

My Spanish radio station disappeared. It has been replaced by another Spanish station that plays music I do not enjoy. Not only do I not enjoy it, I actively dislike it. The rhythms grate on my nerves like a spoon stuck in the garbage disposal.