Generalizations Are Not Your Friends

Generalizations irk me. They don't fit, they're judgemental and when a person uses them they come off looking uneducated and irrational. Yeah, that's a generalization there. Sue me.

I get particularly peeved when generalizations are used with regards to poverty, race, health, culture and family size. These particular issues bother me for several reasons: I am a mother to biracial children, daughter to parents of 8 children, a nurse and my most desired career is in public service to the poverty-stricken. So yeah, it bugs me. Sue me again.

This week I had a hard time remaining civil at work. I was dealing with a difficult mother and her large family. To be fair, she was being unreasonable and causing a lot of extra work for me, my supervising doctor and another provider. But she is not the reason I became so angry.

Another nurse saw fit to butt in and say, "Oh, they're Medicaid - lazy." I looked her straight in the eye and said, "My children have Medicaid," and added silently, "And I work 10 times harder than you do any day of the week." She stuttered and back-pedaled. An uncomfortable pause ensued. I guess she thought she could lighten the situation so she ate her foot again. "How can somebody even have that many kids? And still be sane?" I took a deep breath, looked at her again and said, "My parents have 8 children and are quite sane." She shut up then.

I will be the first to admit that I get more than frustrated with people who are difficult or irrational. But I pride myself on being very particular about my frustration. I'm not irritated with someone because of their medical coverage, their family planning choices, their choice of names for their children or anything else unrelated.

Jerks come in all shapes, sizes, colors and socio-economic divisions. Trying to pinpoint their origins is close-minded and useless.

It Is What It Is?

There is a sign on a bus stop near here that says:

Oatmeal Stout
Pale Ale
BEER

It is what it is.

Underneath all of that there is a picture of Grape Nuts cereal. I think the ad executives want to emphasize how simple and natural Grape Nuts cereal is, but they're failing in that goal. I look at the sign and think, "How is Grape Nuts cereal really grapes and nuts?" There are no grapes and there are no nuts so this slogan does not work.

If the sign is going to work, there needs to be a picture of Grape Nuts with a red line through it and text reading "Sand and pea gravel to tear up the inside of your mouth. Oh, and it tastes like cardboard." I suppose that wouldn't be a successful ad campaign, though.

I Wish I Didn't Know This

I checked in a patient recently and her mother had a certain look about her. It's a look that I have learned to associate with meth addicts. It usually accompanies nervous chattering and the inability to stay on subject. Obviously it's disconcerting for a number of reasons, the worst of which is that this woman is responsible for a child.

The thing that saddened me is that I didn't consciously think 'meth addict' while checking them in. But later I saw a notation in the chart by a provider that said the parents have a history of meth use and realized that it didn't suprise me. I have seen it too often now.

More Raling Against Society

Our kids are normal kids and that means they are plugged in 24 hours a day.

There is a commercial on television now that says that. I cringe every time I hear it because being "plugged in" is normal now. And it shouldn't be. Electronic devices are great and useful and we couldn't live our lives without a lot of them. But it shouldn't be normal to be "plugged in" 24 hours a day.

Sigh. I am glad to be abnormal if this is the new normal.

Thursday Thirteen: Things I Did in the Last Week

1. Decorated my patio with plants, mini-lanterns and an outdoor carpet. I love sitting out there now.

2. Worked on some more scrap booking. This is going to be a never-ending project but I really like it.

3. Had a needle stick at work. I still can't believe it actually happened.

4. Had blood drawn for tests after the needle stick. I have to go back in 6 months for the follow up blood work.

5. Saw 4 rainbows. Really, 4.

6. Ate half of a chocolate mousse cheesecake and I still want more.

7. Failed at playing the Sims 2. My Sim is an aged penniless peon. The game actually said that to me.

8. Taught myself how to use a big drill.

9. Opened a new savings account.

10. Rode the Light Rail downtown and back. There are some interesting people using public transportation.

11. Got a new haircut. I'm still playing with it and trying to figure out what to do with it.

12. Got completely soaked in a 5 minute thunderstorm. I wish it had lasted longer.

13. Had an amazing dinner at Carraba’s. It’s my new favorite restaurant. The sangria is really, really good.

Common Sense: Blood Cell Reproduction

We can do a quick urinalysis in the office at work. It takes less than 2 minutes and tells if there are red blood cells, white blood cells, ketones, bilirubin, protein, nitrites, glucose and a few other things present in the urine. Understandably, the sooner we do the test after the sample is given, the more accurate it is. However, if there are things like RBCs and WBCs present in the sample when it's given, they will be there in the same numbers even if the test is run later. RBCs and WBCs cannot reproduce spontaneously in a cup of urine. They just can't. Someone I work with does not understand this. I do not understand how she does not understand it.

P.S. -- Happy birthday, Jennifer!

Thursday Thirteen: the Internet

I forgot. Oops. So I'm pretending today is Thursday.

Thirteen things I like about the internet:

1. I can find out anything I want to know. And even some things I didn't want to know.

2. I can (and do) talk with people all over the world.

3. Myspace and Facebook have let me catch up with old friends that I otherwise wouldn't know anything about now.

4. Blogging.

5. Online banking.

6. Google Maps.

7. Picture hosting, slide shows, photo editing.

8. Sites like Post Secret, Overheard in New York and I Can Haz Cheezburger that make me laugh until my stomach hurts.

9. Yellow Pages. They're so much easier than the real Yellow Pages.

10. Requesting library books in my pajamas.

11. My kids can play pretty cool games and watch videos of their favorite shows.

12. Online classes. I definitely prefer real classrooms to virtual ones, but without virtual ones I couldn't have gone back to school.

13. Office webisodes.

My Birthday

I was thinking about my past birthdays this morning. Most have been relatively uneventful but still memorable in their own way. Others have consisted of elaborate plans and lots of memories.

I don't remember my first birthday, but I've seen the pictures. I sat on the table in a diaper and smeared myself with chocolate frosting from my very own cake. That's been a big family tradition.

I do remember my second birthday. Most people don't believe me when I say that. They think it's because I've seen the pictures of it and I only think I remember it. But they're wrong. Mom made me a castle cake with Cinderella sitting outside it. It was pink. Very pink. All of that is in the pictures. What does not show are the Pringles cans that made up the castle towers. I remember watching Mom cover them in icing. It seemed to take forever.

Other birthdays run together in a blur. There were several that Jennifer and I celebrated together since our birthdays are 6 days apart. We had a birthday party in the big red caboose at McDonald's one year. Another year, we had a party at Granny and Paw Paw's house. We had two cakes; one was yellow with pink decorations and the other was pink with yellow decorations. I don't remember which was mine and which was Jennifer's.

I got a bike for my fifth birthday. I picked it out from the models at the store and Dad said we needed to find the actual box so we could take it home and put it together. The thought of waiting on it to be put together so disappointed me that the sales person said we could take the floor model. I was thrilled.

There was the year that Mom and Dad let Jennifer and me point out a few things in the toy department that we wanted. I thought we were giving specific instructions so I was a little pouty when I opened my presents and they were slightly different. I still feel bad about that.

Jennifer and I got new bikes when we were 7 and 9, respectively. They were identical 10-speeds and we thought we were hot stuff. We rode those bikes every where. Someone tried to steal them once. I'm a little foggy on the details but Jennifer remembers it better than I do.

On my thirteenth birthday, Mom told me she would make any dinner I wanted. I found some recipes in a magazine and she did it. We had roast beef sandwiches, cucumber salad and a dessert that I can't remember now. I also got my ears pierced on my thirteenth birthday.

My sixteenth birthday was a lot of fun. I had a sleepover with my best friend. We stayed up all night and watched all 4 Jaws movies. Then we scared ourselves silly in her pool. I left for a mission trip in Birmingham on my actual birthday.

My eighteenth birthday was notable because we were awaiting the arrival of my youngest sister, Elizabeth. I also learned to drive that summer.

I spent my twenty-first birthday nursing my 6-week-old baby and marveling at how much my life had changed in just a year. Not the typical American twenty-first birthday, was it?

My twenty-fifth birthday was the last day of our family trip to Disneyland. We missed a flight to Phoenix (not our fault), got re-routed to Las Vegas and grounded in Las Vegas due to 114 F temperatures. We got a free room at the Monte Carlo and spent 48 hours taking in Vegas. If it weren't for the divorce clouds looming overhead, it would have been a fantastic detour.

I was at Lake Tahoe for my twenty-sixth birthday. A boyfriend (ex) and I had a helicopter ride over the lake, a cruise around the lake and saw a Rascal Flatts concert. Definitely a memorable birthday.

Last year, another boyfriend (ex) and I had a good time. There were flowers, dinner, a movie and some wine. The wine wasn't so great, but it was a fun night. The wine was actually kind of funny.

This year has been a good birthday, too. I had to work today, but it wasn't so bad. I went to lunch with some co-workers and was completely embarrassed when the servers chanted the Happy Birthday song and brought ice cream and balloons. I'm eating dinner with Jennifer and Caleb (homemade pizza!). This weekend we are headed to a music festival downtown. I am looking forward to some great music, great laughs, great drinks, a great time in general.

And I am not dreading being 29, either. I'm not even dreading being 30 in 364 days. I don't feel much different than I did at 19 so I'm good with this age thing.

Personality and Cars

Since I decided to make the addition of bumper stickers to my vehicle, I've begun paying close attention to the decoration on other cars. I've seen ones that made me laugh out loud, others that made me mad and some that are just lame. What I find interesting is that you can sometimes tell what kind of person owns the car if they have a couple of bumper stickers plastered on it. At least, I like to pretend I can.

The other thing I find interesting is that I often see the same cars on my route to work every morning. Traffic here is extremely heavy and one would think that I'd never see the same car twice and know it. But when someone has bumper stickers or personalized vanity plates, it's easy to pick them out if you pay a little attention.

There is one car, for example, driven by a matronly grandmother-type. She drives an older Oldsmobile with two stickers on it. One says "Honor Mother Nature" and the other says "It's our turn to nurture the earth." I picture her living in a small cottage house with a vegetable garden fed by her own compost pile. She recycles and conserves water as much as she can. She may or may not have a cat.

There is another car that I see turning into the hospital parking lot with me almost every morning. It's a new Corvette driven by a woman who appears to be in her mid-forties with bleached blond hair. She has eight Pink Ribbon magnets on the sides of her car, all in different sizes. I'm not sure what the story is there. Is she that committed to a cure? Has she known eight women with breast cancer? Does she have breast cancer? Maybe she just likes pink. Whatever it is, I'd like to know her story.

I often see a Mercedes with a vanity plate that clearly identifies the driver as a proud plastic surgeon. He's always on his phone, trying to drive at least 10 miles per hour over the speed limit, weaving in and out of traffic. I've seen him attempt to pass people on the right shoulder. He kind of scares me. I imagine him living in a huge house with a pool or maybe a tennis court and no time to enjoy any of it.

While driving between here and Raton I've seen a lot of interesting stickers. Granted, I don't see those vehicles again, but they are still interesting.

Last time I saw a Jeep with a particularly funny sticker. The sticker said "Get a taste of religion: Lick a witch." It also had a couple of other stickers with pagan symbols on it. It was driven by a heavy-set man with a long beard and long hair. I couldn't tell where his hair ended and his beard began.

On my way back to Denver I passed a Subaru with a sticker that said "Bark less, wag more." I've seen this sticker before. It's usually chosen by dog lovers who believe we should correlate more in our life with those things in a dog's life. I tend to agree. Most dogs are loveable, playful, simple in their wants and needs, eager to please. Maybe our world would be a better place if we lived more like that.

I also saw an RV with a sticker that simply said "Be nice." I couldn't agree more. Being nice is simple and good. One rarely goes wrong by being nice. Thus ends my philosophical ramblings on personal vehicular expression.

The Worst Thing on Television

I came across a reality show last night that made me angrier than any television show really has a right to. It's about 16-year-old girls and their Super Sweet Sixteen parties, complete with tiaras and rhinestones and, in some cases apparently, 7 carat diamonds. With these girls, the sky is the limit. Costume changes, rap artists, $5,000 gowns, $100,000 cars. All for one party. Seriously.

I don't know where to start, so I'll just start with the beginning. The show I watched centered around a girl that describes herself as "the pretty, rich girl that always gets what she wants." I'm sorry, but if my child ever describes herself this way, I will consider myself a pathetic failure as a parent.

The opening clips of the show include Miss Sweet Sixteen shopping for a mink coat. The sales person states the cost of the coat at $27,000. The girl's father says, "Whatever you want. It's your world, we just live in it." My jaw hit the floor. The show then moves on to show the girl giving orders to her party planner and saying that she wants all her friends to "know what it's like to be me, for just one day. Because I have an awesome life."

Just to invite her friends to her sixteenth birthday party, she invited them all to her house and had a helicopter drop keys to treasure boxes on the lawn. Each of her friends had their own treasure box with their invitation locked inside. I'd like to know what scheme she cooked up for inviting them all to the pre-party invitation party. If it didn't include hand-delivered invitations in gold leaf, I'll be disappointed.

Later on, she goes shopping for her main party dress. She tries on countless outfits, each shorter than the last and all covered in sparkles. Apparently the sparkles were the key. I lost track of how many times she gushed, "Oooh, I just love all the sparkles." Finally, it comes time to choose one party dress: the sparkly green one or the sparkly beige one. She agonizes, "This is the hardest decision of my life!" before deciding on the beige one. Her mother forks over a credit card to the tune of $6270. Miss Sweet Sixteen pronounces it a 'good number.' I'm still trying to figure out exactly what she meant by that.

On the day of the party, tragedy struck. The party planner announced that the costume for her grand entrance might not work if she's going to ride on the elephant. I am not kidding. Something about sparkles and the contraption on the elephant's back. Miss Sweet Sixteen laments, "If this costume doesn't work out, the whole party is going to be a disaster. It has to work. I'm wearing it." Later on, I laughed my butt off when her costume headdress clotheslined her on the streamers over the entrance walk.

The rest of the party went off like you probably expect by now. Hundreds of kids screaming that this is the best party of their young lives, even future parties. Miss Sweet Sixteen doing the bump and grind with half a dozen hungry-for-the-spotlight teen boys. A 6-layer cake that scared Miss Sweet Sixteen half to death with the sparklers and fireworks coming from it. One of the final shots of the party is a boy screaming, "Miss Sweet Sixteen is the most generous girl ever!" Uh, sorry to burst your bubble, but that's not called generosity. It's called attention whoring.

I can't believe the example this television show is encouraging America's teens to emulate. Do we really need to encourage kids to be more selfish? What a waste. I wonder what's going to happen to Miss Sweet Sixteen when the gravy train is gone? I wonder if she'll still think she has "an awesome life?"