Personalities and Loose Teeth

You can tell a lot about a child by the way they deal with their loose teeth. I have first- and second-hand experience with this. First, with myself and now with my own children.

The child who wiggles her tooth hesitantly with one finger and clamps her mouth shut at the first sign of anyone seeking to check on its progress tends to be a reserved, timid child. She knows the tooth will eventually fall out but there is no rush. After all, this is a big change and change is usually a very bad thing. It's perfectly okay to have an adult tooth sit right behind the baby tooth for weeks. This is the best way to adjust to this change.

The child who yanks and twists energetically at a loose tooth is the rambunctious, energetic, attention-seeking type. He takes every opportunity to open his mouth and show off his prize. The sooner that baby tooth is out, the sooner the Tooth Fairy brings his money, right? This child rarely, if ever, leaves a tooth hanging on by a thread because he will jerk it out first.

I got to thinking about this last week because Miriam has her first loose tooth. The adult tooth began making its appearance before Christmas. It's now almost completely in and looks very odd, sitting behind the baby tooth. She's like the human version of a 6-year-old shark. She is terrified that the thing is going to fall out while she's asleep, or worse, at school. Oh, the horror! She refuses to bite food with the teeth in the middle of her mouth; everything is eaten from the side of her mouth. She brushes that tooth and the ones around it very gingerly, if at all.

Solomon, on the other hand, has lost about 7 teeth in the last two years. He even once pulled out 3 teeth in the span of about 10 days. The child is a maniac when it comes to loosing teeth. He loves it. He pestered me constantly, long before his sixth birthday until he finally had his first loose tooth. "Mom, when am I going to lose a tooth?" "Mom, this tooth is a tiny bit loose!" "Hey, did that tooth just move?" He's constantly checking the remaining baby teeth for any possibility of instability.

It remains to be seen how Samuel will deal with loose teeth. But from watching the way he handles most other things in his day to day life, I think he'll fall some where between the furious yanker and the tentative wiggler. He will be alternately excited and disgusted by it. He may eventually screw up his courage and yank one out quickly. He'll regret it when it bleeds a bit and remember it for the rest of his life as a mortal mistake.

In case you're wondering, I was the timid type. I hated the idea of loosing teeth. There was that oddly disgusting, fascinating sensation of a part of my body moving. On its own. Gross. There was the possibility that there would be blood when it finally came out. And of course, there was the chance that it would fall out while I was asleep and then I would swallow it. Grosser still.

I am still unnerved by most things having to do with teeth. I have this recurring nightmare in which my teeth begin disentigrating and falling out one after the other, until it is all I can do to spit out bits of enamel and dentin. Disgusting. I can't help but think that's a holdover from being 8 years old and wiggling a tooth with my tongue and suddenly it just fell out of the socket on its own and I had to spit it out.

Frick on a stick

I spoke too soon. Or maybe I didn't knock on wood or something. I am sick. Well and truly sick. There is so much stuff to do around here and I do not have the energy to do it. And I got a flu shot. This is not fair.

Besides the bodyache, headache, coughing and complete lack of energy, the worst symptom is being hungry and having no appetite whatsoever. I want to eat but nothing sounds good. Okay, I am going to pout on the couch.

Shameless Bragging

Solomon is at the top of his class in all subjects, except reading. He has struggled a bit while trying to make the transition from reading in Spanish to reading in English. He gets extra time every week to work with a reading teacher in both languages. I am so proud of him. He is very athletic and is the most imaginative kid I know, too.

Miriam made it on to the A Honor Roll! She reads extremely well in both English and Spanish. She has come a long way this year in relating to people outside our family. A year ago, she was so painfully shy that she refused to speak to most people. I love watching her giggle and talk with a variety of people now. She has an amazing capacity for empathy and compassion.

Samuel's speech was evaluated at the beginning of this school year and it was determined that he had a slight articulation problem. He has been in therapy and has mastered /f/, /v/ and /s/. He had his first session this week since the holiday break and this is the note I got: "Samuel is doing great all on his own now." He also recognizes most numbers up to 10, at least half the letters in the alphabet and counts -- get this -- backwards! He is an affectionate, engergetic child with more friends than I thought a 4-year-old could have.

I feel so fortunate to have such perfectly amazing children. Being their mother is the most challenging, rewarding, frustrating and satisfying thing I could ever do. I am so grateful to be on this journey with them and I cannot wait to see where it takes us all.

Somebody More Like You & Definitely Not Me

I love those moments in life when irony and hilarity combine to form a coincidence of such perfection and clarity that I almost can't believe it. And with that, I give you a song that is my new favorite song, at least for this week.
Lyrics from Nickel Creek ...

I didn't hear you say you're sorry
The fault must be mine
I wish you all the best of luck at

Finding somebody more like you

You said you'd love me always, truly
I must have changed
Cause you don't need me like you used to
I hope you find somebody more like you

I hope you finally find someone
Someone that you trust
And give him everything
I hope you meet someone your height
So you can see eye-to-eye
With someone as small as you

You came out of nowhere, made me smile
Then tore me in two
Saying, "We're very different people"
So dear, I hope you find somebody more like you

I hope you find somebody more like you.

Maybe We're Just Here

Dinner conversation last night in our home --

Miriam: Why don't Aunt Jennifer and Uncle Caleb go to church?
Me: I guess they don't want to.
Miriam: They don't believe in God?
Me: I don't know if that's why they don't go to church, but some people don't believe in God.
Miriam: I believe in God.
Me: Why?
Miriam: Because he made us ... actually, I don't know who made us. Maybe we're just here.

PSA

When 6-year-old girls get together, they can spray an astounding amount of cheap perfume. So much that you can smell it on the other end of the house, through a bathroom, the bathroom's closed door, a bedroom, living room and another bedroom. Even when the little girls have not ventured from the bathroom since the spraying began.

I know this now and I thought you might like to know, too. I am considering opening all the windows in the house, even thought it's about 40 degrees. Yes, it's that bad.

Rambling About Nothing Much

As it turns out, I'm not as sick as I thought I was. Yay for flu shots! It is rather annoying, however to walk around for three days, feeling as if I need to sneeze all the time.

I like this packing up process. It's good to have the opportunity to go through all my stuff and throw out useless stuff. I love simplifying my life this way. I have made two trips to Goodwill this month. I've also taken numerous loads of stuff to the dumpster outside.

Pandora.com is one of the coolest sites I have come across. You can search for a music artist you really like and they'll offer other choices in a similar genre. From there, I can search for them on Project Playlist and create a playlist to fit my current mood.

I met an internet friend IRL yesterday. (IRL means "in real life" -- 'cause you know, the internet isn't actually real and has no bearing on my life.) It was very cool. She and I have known each other online for a few years now. It was sort of surreal to see this person that knows some very private stuff about me, in the flesh for the first time.

I think I need to drop BCIS. It's that computer class that I was told I have to have. Looking at the book and the syllabus has struck fear into my poor little heart. I need something a little less stressful right now.

And that brings us to the end of this episode of Rambling About Nothing Much. Stay tuned for the next installment which could well feature musings about the dust bunnies I am sure to encounter when I move my furniture out of this place.

Edited to say ... for some reason this post says it was on Friday, January 18. I actually posted it on Sunday, January 20. I'm not sure what's going on with that.

The Dreaded 'F' Word

I can feel it coming. My head aches in that dull way that I almost wouldn't notice unless I have to turn suddenly. My shoulders are tight, only I haven't done anything to make them that way. My nose isn't stuffy but it's definitely not normal. My hands feel cold when the rest of me feels just a tad too warm. I can feel that inner chill, almost like my muscles are too cold for my skin.

I'm off to suck down some Airborne and then snuggle up in bed. I hate the flu.

How to be Happy

I got a message from my uncle this morning. It's an e-mail forward. I generally do not like e-mail forwards. They usually fall into one of a few categories: dooms-sayer chain letters, absurd horoscopes, cute kid quotes that were obviously made up by adults, politically motivated sensationalist 'articles,' or trite observations about life. I suppose this one could be categorized as a trite observation about life, but I like it anyway.

It's the one about the elderly gentleman moving into a nursing home. He philosophizes that the happiness you get from life is proportionate to the expectations you put into it. Now, I don't for a minute believe this specific scenario actually occurred but someone had a point in making it up.

Anyway, I had seen it before, but this morning I noticed something that I must have glossed over previously. At the end were some rules for being happy. I'm not saying that life is always this simple, but there is some truth to them.

They are:

• free your heart from hatred
• free your mind from worries
• live simply
• give more
• expect less

One could sum up the 5 into 1: live simply. To me, living simply means not harboring hatred, not worrying about the things you can't change, giving of yourself and expecting little to nothing in return.
I have attempted to do these things in the last year or two and I have found that it's quite fulfilling. I have better relationships with friends, family, co-workers and the parents of students I work with. I have made more friends and become closer to the ones I already had. I have expected more from myself than from anyone else. As a result, I am much happier with myself and my lot in life. This could be a coincidence, but I highly doubt it.

The Witching Hour

I don't know if you've noticed this, or if you'd ever notice this without my pointing it out ... but all my posts thus far, save the first, have been posted in the 10 pm hour. What is it about 10:00 that causes me to write?

Could it be that this is simply when I finally have time to sit down and do it? Maybe melatonin levels have something to do with my creativity. (Not that I think I am all that creative. It's more a desire to share my life with the rest of the internet. Sort of a reverse voyuerism. Is there a word for that? Exhibitionism? Whoa. Let's not go there.) Is it a hang over from last semester when I did all my writing for English in time to submit assignments before midnight?

Interesting thoughts to ponder. Interesting for me, anyway. Probably less so for you.

The Impossible is Done

There occasionally comes a point when what needs to be done isn't the easiest thing to do. There also occasionally comes a point when what needs to be done is in the best interest of a dearly loved one. When those two points coincide, one must make the decision to do this thing because it is in the best interest of the dearly loved one, even though it may seem impossible. This is what must be done.

Some Things I Will Miss

I will miss a lot of things about this place. Some things are obvious: friends, my job, our church, the library. I will miss the friendly openness and small town community feeling. I will miss knowing all the 'short cuts' and feeling like I know most of what there is to know about this town.

Other things aren't so obvious. They are the smaller, inconspicuous things that I am afraid I will forget because they don't stick in my mind all the time. Here are a few.


This is the sunset view from my front door. I have seen that sky in every imaginable shade of pink, orange, yellow, purple and blue. I know there will be more sunsets in more places, but I'm going to miss this one.


These are the two trees I can see from my office window. In the spring and summer they are green and lush. In the fall they turn brilliant shades of crimson, scarlet and gold. They always make me smile, as they are among the few truly beautiful trees in this desert.


The kids and I have watched -- and attempted to catch -- frogs, turtles, ducks, dragon flies and fish in and around this pond.


Believe it or not, I will miss these big, green fluff balls. They are what eventually dry up, get ripped out of the ground and make tumbleweeds. They can be pretty huge, too. I dragged one out of the street last week that was well over 4 feet across. They're kind of fun to run over with your car if they aren't huge.


This playground is one of the coolest ever. All the play structures are made from welded rebar and sheet metal. The other end of the playground has an airplane with slides coming out of it. Awesome.



How could one not miss this? It's a Texas-size longhorn skull. Pure Texas class right there, ladies and gentlemen. And yeah, there's a little part of me that will miss it.

There are lots of things I will not miss -- dust storms, constant wind, scorpions and stifling summer heat are a few that come to mind. I will not miss the lack of rain or the brown grass. I will not miss the thick odor of oil wells. At least for a while. Something tells me that I might look back on a few of these things with a sort of fondness, once I've been away from them for a bit.  But for the things I will miss ... I only hope that I will get back here for a visit occasionally.

Exhaustion

I am exhausted -- mentally, physically, emotionally and even financially. It's hard to remember that just a week ago I was so well-rested I couldn't fall asleep at night. So many things are going on right now, it's all I can do to remember to eat.

We are going to be audited at work next week. Federal auditors. Thick regulations handbooks. Complicated questions. Scrutinzing stares. To prepare for this, we've tortured ourselves since August. This week we have stepped it up about 14 notches. I can't take anymore. I wouldn't be surprised if my retaliatory instinct kicked in and I tossed a few handbooks at the auditor when he/she/it walks through my office door. I might be merciful and aim for the heart but I'll most likely aim for the kneecaps.

In between moments spent preparing for this audit I still have to see sick and injured kids and deal with Miss Hypochondriac. (Don't even get me started on Miss Hypochondriac. She induces unreasonable anger in me.) I empathize with the sick and injured children but they exhaust me. There is a never-ending list of complaints. "My tummy hurts." "I 'frowed' up." "Mommy forgot my medicine." I know I kind of asked for it, becoming a school nurse and all but seriously. I'm tired.

And then there is this emotional stuff. I am moving. While it's definitely something that I want to do and I know I will not regret it ... it's still unbelievably hard. This has been my home and my life for nearly 9 years. I am going to miss it. I've discovered that I can handle being thrillingly excited about something. And as much as it hurts, I can take being sad, too. But dealing with both emotions about the same thing is harder than dealing with either one alone.

The nice thing about working for this district is that we get paid early in December. It's nice to get that check before Christmas. But that means it's not a month until the next pay day: it's 6 weeks until the next pay day. That makes January a bit tight toward the middle. No extra trips to the video store, skip the morning frappuccino and take leftovers for lunch. Fun, fun, fun.

So, yeah. I am exhausted. I need to get this audit finished. I need to finish the moving plans. I need my paycheck. And I need a nice glass of reisling.

More School

I registered for spring 2008 classes last week. In retrospect, it was quite an accomplishment. By the time I braved the wait in line for a counselor, signed up for classes, spoke with financial aid and sold back an old text book I felt more than a tad victorious. Melodramatic? Not really, when you consider the following:

• prospective students ahead of me in line numbered close to the triple digits
• I can only take on-line classes at this point and I'm quickly running out of options
• financial discussions make me nervous
• most of the counselors are about as helpful as a pile of wet grass clippings

To pass the time waiting in line, I called the Colorado Board of Nursing to discuss my application for licensure. I was on hold for 16 minutes, 37 seconds while being reassured that my call was very important to them and someone would help me in approximately 2 minutes. I stopped snorting at that announcement about 12 minutes into the call. I think the girl next to me appreciated that. I also put in a call to the bank to discuss the matter of a direct deposit but I wasn't taken off hold before the college counselor called me back.
The thing about counselors at my school is that only one of them is any good. For obvious reasons, I cannot reveal her full name so I will call her The Stupendous Nancy. She goes out of her way to be helpful and reassuring. This is very comforting for someone like me -- and by that, I mean someone who agonizes over every decision as if I were dropping the A-bomb. I was immensely happy to get called back by The Stupendous Nancy because at these mass registrations, it's simply the luck of the draw (or un-luck of the draw for students who see someone other than The Stupendous Nancy).
First, The Stupendous Nancy delivered the wondrous news that my math requirement was fulfilled by my high school ACT score. How that works out, I have no clue. I mean, that ACT was taken almost 12 years ago and I've never been the brightest when it comes to math concepts. But I didn't question The Stupendous Nancy; I am thrilled to take her word for it. Second, The Stupendous Nancy figured out a way for me to take all this semester's classes online, get enough hours to receive the 75% reimbursement rate for my Pell grant and sign me up for a course that knocks out a BSN requirement. She really deserves to be called The Stupendous Nancy.
Next, I was on to the financial aid department to find out when my residual checks will be available. As it turns out, the first isn't due until after the middle of February. I will already be living in Colorado and unable to pick up a check in person. This could have been a problem, but the nice lady told me they could send it to me, provided I sign over my birthright. She was not amused when I told her that my birthright has been watered down considerably since I have 7 younger siblings and my parents are too fair for my own good. Just kidding.
Finally, I headed to the bookstore to see how badly they would rip me off for last semester's text books. They only wanted one of my text books. You could look at this in a positive light or a negative light. On the one hand, I only sold back one book and got back money for that one book. On the other hand, I only sold back one book and kept the rest. So I didn't get ripped off as badly as I would have if I had sold back all my books at the school's pathetic buy-back value. There has to be a mathematical equation for that but I do not want to figure it out. See the earlier comment on my comprehension of math concepts.
Add all of this up and you can clearly see why I walked a little taller that afternoon.
P.S. I am taking Pharmacology, Human Growth & Development and something called BCIS. I'm told it's a computer class and that I must have it. Also, I am relieved to know that I will be studying humans as opposed to, say Venutians or amoebae.

WOH vs. SAH

I used to be a stay at home mom and I loved it. When I went to work full-time it was only because I had no other choice. Since then, I've thought that if I suddenly didn't have to work any more, it would be the greatest gift in the world.

But I am coming off two entire weeks of holiday break and I can tell you, I am pretty thrilled at the prospect of going back to work on Monday. And I wasn't even at home for some of that. I spent a week with family. This week however, has killed me. Part of that may be because my kids have been gone and I have no classes to keep me busy, but still.

I tried to keep some semblance of routine by not sleeping until noon. When I got up, I actually got myself out of the house and ran errands. I cooked real food for breakfast, lunch and dinner. But I have still been bored out of my mind.

And the insomnia ... working full-time and taking care of my children usually has me yawning and falling asleep on the couch well before 10:00 pm. Not this week. I have tossed and turned for at least an hour every night.

I cannot wait to get back to my beloved routine. And I don't think I'll ever again dream about the not having to work scenario in quite the same way.

Habit? Sleepiness?

So I started this blog yesterday with the intention of not blogging on myspace again. And what do I do? Go and put a brand spanking new blog post about New Year's resolutions on myspace at 11:30 pm. I don't know if it was from habit or sleepiness. So much for new beginnings.

To remedy this, I am going to transfer that post here. Here goes ...

At the party last night, we all listed what our New Year's resolutions would be. Corny, I know but hey, there was some really great wine -- corniness is to be expected after a point. Ha!

I listed the ususal 'workout, be more patient with my children, yadayadayada.' But then I thought about it some more tonight. I have decided my theme for 2008 is to Do Things on Purpose. I realized that most of my decisions in the last few years have been made as the result of situations around me. I need to do more things on purpose.

I've already started this without realizing it. I was dissatisfied with my church home so I found a better fit. I went back to school and set major education and career goals. I am packing up my life and moving (In one month! Ack!) half way across the country. Those are purposeful decisions that were not forced on me. I want to live my whole life like that. I will not let situational factors dictate my life.

Specifically, I am going to seek out an outdoor hobby the children and I can pursue together. I'm thinking biking. I am going to make it a point to discover new music, books and art. I am going to be more active in chronicling our daily life in my journal so the little things don't get lost. (In that same vein, I have started a blog separate from myspace. More about that in a future blog post here.)

So there you have it ... 2008 is going to be a phenomenal year.

Whew. I feel so much better now.

The Beginning

So here I am, with a 'real' blog. I've been blogging on myspace long enough to discover that I really enjoy it but I want to try something new. New Year's Day is as good a time as any for something new.

I have a feeling I'm missing a lot here. But knowledge of the blogging world will come with time. I only hope I am not mortally embarrassed to read past blog posts in a few months.