A Purely Hypothetical Situation

Imagine with me, if you will, a mother and her sweet, pre-school age son. They are walking hand in hand through a massive furniture store, looking for the perfect couch. They have been playing a spirited game of 'I Spy' and the little boy is surprisingly compliant, considering that couch shopping is quite possibly the thing he hates most in the world.

For some reason, known only to other 4-year-old children, the boy decides that dragging his rubber-toed shoes on the laminate floor is a fun thing to do. It causes strange vibrations in his toes and makes a rather silly sound, not unlike that of a distasteful bodily function.

Suddenly, the little boy decides this is not entertaining enough and says, in a voice audible across the universe,

"MOMMY, WHY ARE YOU FARTING?"

The horrified mother hisses, "That sound is your shoes, silly!"

"NO, YOU ARE FARTING!"

The little boy dissolves into hysterical giggles as the mother looks around for a couch big enough to hide behind forever. The poor, poor mother.

There is not a sink hole on this planet big enough to save one from that situation, were it to actually happen.

To Do List

I have had a 3-mile long To Do List since we moved here. In the last few weeks I've shortened the list considerably but there are still a few things that must be done and must be done very soon. If they don't get done, the To Do List demon is going to continue terrorizing me and send me completely over the edge into insanity.

I can't seem to focus on the few remaining things on my list. I am not sure why this is. Maybe because they are tedious chores that no one wants to do ever, much less when they are new to a major metropolitan area and don't know where anything is. Anyway, no one else is going to do them for me and since I can't stay focused, I'm posting my To Do List here. You could gently (gently!) remind me to do some of these things if they stay on the list too long.

1. Register my vehicle in Colorado
2. Register myself as a licensed driver in Colorado
3. Pick a daycare for Samuel and enroll him
4. Buy a couch
5. Get a library card
6. Get vehicle maintenance done
7. Find a family doctor/nurse practitioner and dentist
8. Finish remaining documentation for nursing license application
9. Continue plugging away at the never-ending homework
10. Contest false insurance claim attached to my name from last year (yeah, a lot of fun that's going to be.)

It feels better to have it all written out. Maybe now I won't spend 20 minutes reciting the list to myself when I go to bed. I hate that. It's the only time I spend thinking about all the stuff I didn't get done during the day and then I remember things I hadn't even considered that needed to be done. Wow, I'm tired.
I do derive a bit -- okay, a lot! -- of personal satisfaction from knowing that I have accomplished a hell of a lot since arriving here, though. Let's review:

1. Apply for nursing license
2. Find a job
3. Enroll children in school
4. Move into apartment
5. Familiarize myself with major streets
6. Unpack a U-Haul's worth of stuff
7. File tax return
8. Find a proctor for my computer exams
9. Take a computer exam, schedule another exam
10. Ensure that the children are adjusting well
11. Start new auto and rental insurance policies
12. Grocery shop from the beginning to fill a pantry and refrigerator
13. Buy kids' snow boots

There has to be more. I feel like I haven't breathed deeply in almost a month. To be fair to myself, many of the above mentioned things entailed many, many steps. This would explain the all-pervading sense of exhaustion I am experiencing.
Finding a job? It's a job in and of itself. Enrolling kids in public school in a district that is the most confusing I've ever seen? Two jobs. Ensuring that the children are well-adjusted? I'll never finish that one. Familiarizing myself with major streets? I have wasted more gas on U-turns and back tracking through parking lots than I used to drive here from Texas.
Okay, now that I have succeeded in relieving my brain of these lists, it's past time to sleep. See ya.

The Dreaded Colorado Winter

It turns out that winter in Colorado isn't so bad. Every time I told someone I was moving to Colorado, I got one consistent reaction: "Oh my gosh! You're going to freeze! It's so cold! Can you drive in the snow?!" And I just nodded along and said things like, "Yeah, I know. I think we can handle it. We'll get used to it." Secretly, I was wondering just how bad it would be.

I am happy to say that I have been pleasantly surprised. We've had a few small snow showers and one that was larger and included some freezing rain and sleet-type stuff. That was not fun but it didn't last long. The worst part is that driving on slushy streets quickly covered my vehicle in a thick layer of some of the nastiest dirt and grime I've ever seen. I twitched just looking at it and simply touching the door handle brought on a full-body shudder. Nasty.

You know how "they" say, "It's not the heat, it's the humidity"? Well, "they" are absolutely right. I learned this while living in West Texas because 100 degree heat isn't bad when the humidity is 10% and you can sit in the shade with a nice breeze. It's actually pleasant. What "they" don't usually say is, "It's not the cold, it's the humidity." But this is true, too. The air here is dry and cold which isn't nearly as bad as wet and cold.

The other good thing about dry air is that when the snow and ice melt, the water evaporates quickly. In wetter climes, the water would only make things worse by re-freezing into solid sheets of ice overnight. This doesn't often happen here.

So, there it is. Winter in Colorado isn't shocking or horrifying or freeze-your-bum-off cold. At least not that I've seen; nature could prank me tomorrow though, just for grins.

It's Out!!!

Miriam's first loose tooth fell out yesterday. She is unbelievably relieved to have the ordeal over with. We celebrated with great ceremony by placing the tooth carefully under her pillow last night and discussing what the Tooth Fairy might leave in its place. We also took a picture and she wrote on the calendar, "Miriams first gone tooth." (The grammar and word choice are hers entirely.)

By the way, my kids don't actually believe in the Tooth Fairy, just like they don't believe in Santa Claus. But we have discussed how sometimes it's fun to pretend and play games, even when we know the truth. This morning Miriam popped up at my bedside and said, "The Tooth Fairy didn't leave me anything!" I assured her that something must be there and went in search of the quarter. It was behind the bed.

Now, before you chastise me for leaving only a quarter, let me say that a quarter was great for me at 6 years old and so far, quarters have been great for my kids. I have no plans to explain inflation to them until all their baby teeth have fallen out.

An Actual Dream

Over there to the right, I mentioned that I usually don't remember dreams during the night. Today though, I remembered last night's dream all too clearly.

See, I had a job interview this morning at 10:30. I was apprehensive about it -- the recruiter sent me an e-mail with no fewer than 6 attachments containing everything from a summary of the agency's mission to pediatric competency tests -- and that spilled over into my sleeping hours.

In my dream, I suddenly glanced at a clock and saw that it was noon. As I scrambled for a phone to call the agency, I racked my brain for a plausible excuse for being an hour and a half late. But I couldn't find a phone and promptly forgot why I needed a phone anyway. Next thing I knew, I looked at the clock again and it was 3:00. Again, the mad dash for a phone and an excuse. The whole night continued like this until I woke at 5:00 (really awake this time!) and grabbed my phone off the bedside table. Thankfully, I did stop just short of actually dialing the agency. Great night's sleep, huh?

In case you're wondering, the interview went well, but I'm not sure it's what I am looking for. I'm a bit nervous about working for a home health agency in a city that I am not yet familiar with. Also, there's the whole weather constraint since the roads can get very bad here. But the coordinator liked me. There are all sorts of background checks to be completed and more documentation to turn in so it will be a while before I hear anything else from them.

I had another job lead waiting in my e-mail inbox this evening and it sounds interesting, too. Tomorrow, I am going to go to a couple of medical centers in this area and drop off my resume, fill out applications, the whole shebang. Things will continue turning up and eventually something will be exactly what I need.

Neglect

So, I haven't posted anything significant in a while. Things have been crazy hectic since before our arrival in Colorado. Between the last minute packing up, the traveling and the settling in, I've barely had a moment to collect my thoughts. What a whirlwind!

The last week of our Texas residency was spent in a flu-induced haze of fever, coughing and exhaustion. It was awful. Truly awful. The kids and I missed most of our going away stuff, which was very sad. It made the good-byes even sadder since we didn't get to say many of them.

Our friends came through in an amazing way to pack us up and see us off. I can't say enough how much I appreciated the help with getting boxes, the friends who took my kids for a bit so I could pack and the army of volunteers who loaded the U-Haul. I will not forget your helpfulness. (Although, I have wondered if maybe it was a bit of pushing to get us out of town? Totally kidding! Ha!)

And once again, I am reminded how great my family is. Dad took off three days of work, flew to Texas, drove the U-Haul to Colorado and then flew back home. On Super Bowl weekend. He's a great dad, huh? The Amazingtons, also known as Jennifer and Caleb, let us stay with them for a week. And then they made countless trips up and down the stairs to my second floor apartment to help me unload the U-Haul. My grandparents gifted me some much appreciated funds, without my asking. Three cheers for awesome family! I really could not have made this move without everyone. Come to think of it though, without family here, I wouldn't have moved here. Whatever.

We are getting settled in. Our new place is great. It's slightly larger than our last one and has great storage spaces -- a must for an organizational freak like myself. I took the kids to register for school today. We are fortunate to be in an excellent school district; I expect good things from it. I interview with a pediatric home health agency on Thursday morning. If that doesn't seem to be a good fit for me, there are a few other leads to follow. Luckily, nurses are always in demand. So, we are getting our bearings, one little baby step at a time.

I have to share a small victory. I got a bit lost looking for the school registration office today but decided to go with it and take the opportunity to get to know some other streets in the area. I am proud to say that I resisted calling for help in the form of Google maps and found my way back around all by myself! Sure, I drove in a few concentric circles around my goal, but I did it! Finding my way out of that neighborhood back to my own presented its own adventure too, but I pulled that one off fairly smoothly.

Next step: trade out my Texas tags for Colorado tags so that when I cut someone off in traffic (accidentally!), they don't think it's because I'm from out of town and don't know my way around.

A Huge Thank You!

I was too tired last night to remember all the people who came over to help me move on Saturday afternoon and evening. I expected a few people, but you all really out-did yourselves. We packed the truck in about 2 hours. I never expected it to get done that quickly. So, thank you to Travis, Michael, David W., Kelly, Luke, Maria, Julie, Niki, Cyndee, Harry and most especially to my dad! I am so grateful to you for all your help.

Colorado

We made it. I am tired. That is all for now.