Home

I have struggled for 4 years, wondering where Home was. I got divorced and suddenly my home was not where it should have been or what I thought it was.  Broken marriage vows will do that to a person.  I had to recreate a home.  And then some of the people I considered part of my home moved away.  I still had bits and pieces of my reconstructed home but not enough to make it feel whole.

I moved to Colorado, thinking I might find Home here.  But that was tough because everything was new.  I had to enroll my kids in a school district where I didn't know anyone (this was huge -- in Midland I knew everyone or at least someone who knew someone, you know?), make new friends, acclimate myself to the culture, find a new grocery store, etc.  That's a difficult chore.  It left me feeling that not only hadn't I found my home, but maybe I'd also destroyed the little bit of home I had in Texas.

I didn't think I'd find home in Arkansas.  I did a huge amount of growing up there and I know lots of people there.  My parents are there.  I love them dearly, but I don't feel like I fit in Arkansas.  In fact, I'm certain that I don't fit in Arkansas.  As much as my parents contribute to my home, Arkansas isn't Home.

I wondered if New Mexico might be Home. But following the ex-husband would not help me rebuild Home.  It just wouldn't.  You can imagine why.

In the 20 months since I arrived in this beautiful place, I've come to a conclusion:  Home is not about location.  The real estate business has it all wrong.  Home is about peace.  Home is feeling like you fit.  Home is taking bits and pieces of your life and fitting them together to make something meaningful, no matter where you are.  Home is the feeling you have when you wake up and when you go to sleep.  Home is about memories from the past and plans for the future and living in this moment, all at once.

I think I've finally found Home.  It's great to be here.