Day 15, A Song that Describes Me

Keep drinkin' coffee
Stare me down across the table
While I look outside

So many things I'd say if only I were able
But I just keep quiet
And count the cars that pass by

You've got opinions, man
We're all entitled to 'em
But I never asked

So let me thank you for time
And try to not waste any more of mine
Get out of here fast

I hate to break it to you babe
But I'm not drowning
There's no one here to save

Who cares if you disagree
You are not me
Who made you king of anything
So you dare tell me who to be
Who died
And made you king of anything

You sound so innocent
All full of good intent
You swear you know best

But you expect me to
Jump up on board with you
Ride off into your delusional sunset

I'm not the one who's lost
With no direction oh
But you won't ever see

You're so busy makin' maps
With my name on them in all caps
You got the talkin' down just not the listening

And who cares if you disagree
You are not me
Who made you king of anything
So you dare tell me who to be
Who died
And made you king of anything

All my life
I've tried
To make everybody happy while I
Just hurt
And hide
Waitin' for someone to tell me it's my turn
To decide

Who cares if you disagree
You are not me
Who made you king of anything
So you dare tell me who to be
Who died
And made you king of anything

Who cares if you disagree
You are not me
Who made you king of anything
So you dare tell me who to be
Who died
And made you king of anything

Let me hold your crown, babe
 

I'm posting the lyrics to this song because they're so powerful.  This song compares and contrasts the old me with the new me.  It's my personal anthem.  Every time I hear it, it's a reminder never to take my own independence for granted.  I've got smarts and I'm not afraid to use them.  I don't deserve someone else's maps, someone's delusional sunset.  I deserve to go where I want to go because I want to go there.  And I will go there, dammit.

Ten Years

It's surreal.  I can't seem to grasp that I lived at a time when something so horrible happened, that I saw it with my own eyes.  Even though it was on television the horror was so tangible.

Solomon had the assignment to talk to me about 9/11 for one of his classes.  I told him the grim facts just like I have a few times before.  But then I told him how terrifying it was.  How saddening to think about that much hate causing that many lost lives.  I told him what I saw and how it has affected me.  I told him that I still can't understand why or how.  I think he's old enough now to hear more than just the bare bones story.

I watched a documentary on CBS called 9/11: Ten Years Later.  It was very well done and I think it's because the two brothers who filmed it didn't even know what they were filming.  They started out to tell the story of a young firefighter working his way through the ranks in FDNY and ended up getting a front row seat to the carnage that was and is 9/11.  They told the story with such grace and sensitivity that I got chills several times.

I want to go to Ground Zero some day.  I don't know anyone who was lost there but I feel like it's important to go anyway.  It's part of life as an American now.