I'm Going Bald Again!

In March, I'm going to shave my head to benefit the St. Baldrick's Foundation.  I am excited!  It's so satisfying to know that I am contributing to cancer research.  Plus, I really enjoyed being bald.  It was liberating in so many ways.  I can't wait!

If you want to donate on my head, go here: St. Baldrick's Foundation.  Search for me under Find a Participant and then choose how you'd like to donate.  My goal this time is $1500.

Two Fitting Quotations

"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them."  George Bernard Shaw

"Again and again, the impossible problem is solved when we see that the problem is only a tough decision waiting to be made."  Robert H. Schuller

I came across the first quote months and months ago.  I love it.  It explains my philosophy on life thoroughly, yet succinctly.  I just found the second one this morning on a note Miriam brought home from her jump rope coach.  At any other time it probably wouldn't have meant much to me but since I've been struggling with my career plans recently, it hit home.

Time and again the problems in my life have been solved by accepting that sometimes life sucks and sometimes I have no choice but to rearrange my perspective, make the difficult decisions and blaze a new trail.  Getting divorced, moving half way across the country, changing jobs, enrolling in school, losing 25 pounds, parenting -- all of it is challenging.  Curling up into myself and sobbing about it only works for so long.  At some point I have to blow my nose and wipe my eyes, take a deep breath and figure out how to fix it.  There is always a solution.  It might not be the one I want and it might not be easy or fun but there is always a solution.  Always.

Musings on My Career

I have recently begun to face facts.  Or one fact, anyway.  Namely, I do not have the time to go to nursing school and I won't have the time any time soon.  Any decent nursing program has a murderous clinical schedule that I cannot swing as a single parent.  I have done everything I can, worked out every plan, researched all the options and it's just not workable.

Now, I'm not one to let obstacles get in the way of what I want.  I don't give up easily.  I'm a hard worker.  I'm also a realist.  All the encouraging, feel good, don't give up-ness in the world cannot change the facts.  I don't know a single person in my situation -- single parent with the other parent 400 miles away -- who has done this.  Every BSN candidate I know has either 1) a spouse who works full-time and supports the family while caring for children; or 2) moved in with parents who can fill the childcare and financial support roles as needed; or 3) a vastly superior financial situation that allows for not working any kind of job.  None of these three are possible for me.

I was lamenting all of this to Paul and he said, "What else do you want to do?"  And I immediately said, "There's nothing else.  This is what I want."

But then I thought some more and I came up with these requirements for my career, such as it is or might be:

1. I have to be able to meet thousands, if not tens of thousands, of different people.  As much as individual people might drive me absolutely bonkers, I love humanity in general.  I need to be immersed in all the stuff that makes up people.
2. I have to be able to help those people.  I need to feel that I can have a personal impact on someone's life.  It may not be a lot to humanity as a whole, but I need to connect with at least a few people on a personal level.
3. I have to be learning stuff.  All the time.  I don't want a single day to go by where I don't learn something, be it fascinating or mundane.

I've never articulated before why I love nursing so much.  That's it right there.  Those things mean the world to me.  But that doesn't mean that nursing is the only way I can be fulfilled or happy. I can't believe I'm just now seeing this.  I think I could pursue a degree in biology or nutrition or something else that hasn't occurred to me yet and still be fulfilled and happy.

I would love to work in a research hospital some where.  If I could study disease processes or microscopic pathogens and figure out what makes them tick, I'd be happy.  If I could make them stop ticking, I'd be ecstatic.  If I could save lives by stopping the ticking of fatal pathogens, I'd die happier than anyone ever has.

I have a lot to consider.  I need to do some research on where I might fit.  I need to see what my realistic options are.  But I'm excited.  There is a whole world out there -- that doesn't require grueling clinical hours -- that I haven't considered before now.  And I can't wait to see what it might hold.

Coffee is a Beautiful Thing

This is one of the things Paul gave to me for Christmas. It's an espresso maker. I can make lattes all by myself! There is a milk steamer/frother thingy too. Yay for delicious coffee!  Yay for delicious coffee without paying Starbucks $4.00!

Dentist Time!

I took the kids to the dentist today. All three of them. It was just for cleaning and x-rays but I was still mighty anxious. We've had less than stellar dental appointments since they were tiny kids. I was mucho afraid of what we might need to repair, of the bills, of more anxiety.  Ugh.

But I feared for (almost) nothing. Out of three kids and some 48 teeth -- give or take a lost baby tooth -- there is only one cavity. And it's tiny. And in a baby tooth. Yay! Our religious dedication to brushing, flossing, fluoride rinses and much less candy has paid off!