Water Park Fun

I forgot about these videos from our day at the water park in Arkansas.  I give you -- The Toilet Bowl:

Confusing a Girl

Miriam, telling me a joke: I know how to confuse a girl.
Me: Huh?
Miriam: Purple.
Me: Huh?
Miriam: See, you're confused!
Me: Why did you say, "girl"?
Miriam: Because that's the way I heard it.
Me: But it doesn't matter.  If you said that to a boy, he'd be confused, too.  If you specify that it's a girl when being a girl doesn't really matter, you're saying that girls are not as smart as boys.
Miriam, indignant:  That is NOT true! I'm never telling that joke again!!
Me, to myself: Thaaaaaat's right.

I Look Like I Was Bitten by a Vampire

And I feel like I got a Chuck Norris punch to the throat.  Ouch.

I went to the endocrinologist for a biopsy of my gargantuan thyroid today.  I'm not kidding about the gargantuan part, either.  It used to measure 4cm x 5cm and now measures 5cm x 7cm.  Or so I'm told. Whatever.  It's big.  Not like developing a second head big, but big nonetheless.  Big enough that medical type people and Mom say, "Hm, your thyroid is large."  Actually, Mom says, "Are you sure that isn't bigger than it was the last time I saw you?"

I love my mom -- duh.  (Hi, Mom!  I love you!)  She's always made a point of not being pushy because she hates when people are pushy but she can't help commenting on my thyroid.  I don't really blame her.  She had cancer in hers and the disorder she had is genetic.  And one of my sisters is having thyroid issues already.  And Mom had cancer.  If I were my mom I'd be concerned about my thyroid too.

Anyway, I went to the endo yesterday and had an ultrasound.  According to the endo the left side of my thyroid "contains no normal tissue."  It's all one big, fat, hairy nodule.  Okay, it's not really fatty or hairy because it's a thyroid, but it's big.  It's big and it's 'hypervascular.'  And it's big enough and vascular enough that she wanted me back for a biopsy today.  Fortunately, the right lobe of my thyroid is perfectly healthy, with minimal blood flow.

I hate biopsies, especially when they're of my own thyroid. Biopsies cause me a lot of anxiety.  I only have anxiety issues when it comes to my vomiting offspring, the ex-husband and his new offspring, and my thyroid.  Actually, I have anxiety over needles puncturing my thyroid.  Nine needles, to be precise.  Ugh.

I contemplated taking a Valium, pre-biopsy.  Ultimately, I decided against it for a lot of reasons.  They are as such:

1. A lot of my previous thyroid related anxiety was actually ex-husband anxiety.  You see, when I had the last biopsies, he was cheating on me for the third time (Yup, third! That I knew of!) and I was interviewing attorneys for my inevitable divorce.
2. I will likely require biopsies of my thyroid for years to come so I might as well get used to it.
3. I was going to have to get Lance to come with me and then drive me home in case I was drunk on Valium.
4. I didn't want to be drunk on Valium all day.
5. I gave birth to 3 children virtually 100% unmedicated.  What's a few needles in my neck?

So I didn't take any Valium.  And I lived.  I cried and I hyperventilated and I panicked.  But I lived.  That's the important part, right?

Now I await results.  My doctor thinks she can call me tomorrow with results.  I'll be hugely impressed if she can.  In my previous experience, biopsy results are at least a week out.  Anyway, I'm not complaining.  I just want to know what I've got here.  If it's cancer I might have the thing taken out next week.  Even if it's not I might still have it taken out in the next month.

Whew.  That's a lot of information right there.  I think it's past time that I finish my wine.

Oh, yeah.  The vampire thing.  I appear to have two puncture wounds on my neck.  This doc is so good that when she injected the lidocaine (twice) she marked the spots and took samples from the same sites.  Crazy stuff, huh? But my throat is pretty beat up.  It hurts to swallow and I'm swollen. Ugh.

Again

Remember this?  Well, we're waiting again.  I saw on Facebook last night that the ex-husband's new wife was going into the hospital for an induction today.  I have lots of opinions about early inductions but I really don't feel like getting into them right now.  She went in at 5:00 this morning and as of 6:00 this evening she wasn't yet dilated to 4 cm.  (That right there? One of the reasons I don't want to get into my anti-induction opinions.  It's frustrating and not really worth it, but whatever.)  Anyway, we're waiting.  Again, with the kids' excitement -- big time excitement because it's a girl and Miriam has been desperate for a sister for a looong time -- and again with my ambivalence.  Ugh.

Pocket Boulder

Remember the post about Samuel's pocket contents?  He came home today with this.  That's a quarter beside it.  It is so big I thought his pocket was going to rip when he took it out.  Solomon teased him a la Donkey from Shrek -- "That is a nice boulder!" I don't know what to do about this so I think I'm just not going to do anything.  Ha!

Photos About Town

I especially love "Drill here. Drill Now. Pay Less."  I don't think people understand that the companies that drill the oil still own the oil and still set the prices and are still trying to make a profit.  Geography has less to do with it than most people think.

Can you see that?  I know it's fuzzy and far away.  Sorry about that.  My biggest priority at the moment was making a left turn without needing to involve the police and my insurance company.  Anyway, it says

"Ladie's Night."

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

What the heck is a 'ladie'?  And what does the ladie possess that is such a big deal on Thursdays?

I just love this sign.

Flu shot gift cards.  'Cause there's really not a better way to show that you care.

It's difficult to see but the black and red sticker to the lower left side says, "Couldn't we have democracy without the bombs and torture?"

The red and yellow one says, "Be nice to nerds.  Chances are you'll end up working for one."

Pandering to the Lowest Common Denominator

I need to preface this with a disclaimer. I love to read and I wish everyone loved to read.  I know that not all people do, for a lot of reasons.  That's okay.  I believe that if a particular series of books can get someone who doesn't usually like to read to enjoy reading, I'm all for it.  A lot of these kinds of books cannot be called fine literature and that's okay.  In an ideal world, we'd all love writers like Dickens and Steinbeck.  We do not live in an ideal world and that's okay, too.  However, there are simply books that are not, nor never will be, fine literature. Twilight is one of those.  Yup, I said it.

I also need to say that I have not read Twilight (or any of the following books) and now I never will.  I used to want to read them because everyone raved about them.  Several people admitted that the writing is not good but that the story is good and it's entertaining.  So I figured I'd get around to reading them at some point when I needed a break from something like A Brave New World or The End of Faith.

Then I saw Twilight and New Moon. I will admit that a huge part of my turn-off after watching these movies was the acting. The acting was painful, reallyreallyreally painful.  However, an even bigger part of my turn-off is the idea that Bella cannot live without Edward.  Her obsession with him is unhealthy, not to mention dangerous. When Edward went away and Bella's whole being shriveled up into nothingness I was horrified.  No one should be that wrapped up in another person after just a few months of a relationship, especially at that age.  It sets up a horrible example for teenagers to emulate.  Even worse is Bella's preoccupation with putting herself in danger just so she can 'feel' Edward around her.  I don't know any respectable parent who would be okay with their daughter behaving this way, no matter how much she likes a boy.

It kills me that an entire generation of kids is growing up with Bella and Edward as their heroes, their example of what is good and honorable and part of a healthy, loving relationship.  It makes me want to puke. All the progress that's been made in the last few generations could be undone here.  Women can't be equal to men when they start life as girls who want to be like Bella.  I'll be damned if my daughter turns out this way.

I have become especially sensitive to these themes in the last few years after realizing how much of my own life has been wrapped up in unhealthy relationships.  I admit that I am probably more observant of the problems in Twilight because of this but that doesn't mean that I am hypersensitive or that I am wrong; it just means that others don't notice as much as I do.  It's still unhealthy and not something I'll ever teach my children is acceptable.

Take into consideration all that I just said and you'll understand my shock at seeing this while doing back-to-school shopping.

Are you kidding me?  Sucking kids in by modeling major study guides after the biggest teen obsession this decade?  I know you've got to appeal to kids somehow, but this?  This is low. This is lower than low.

Ominous blood?  Give me a break.








And, of course, the disclaimer for the book.  Never mind their intent; the lawyers make them put this there so no one gets sued.

Stephanie Meyer and Brian Leaf and their ilk are on My List.

Bathtub Faucet Leak

My bathtub faucet has been a little leaky since I moved into the place in late February.  And by 'a little leaky' I mean that as long as I paid attention and turned it completely off it would stop dripping but if I was lax and just casually shut it off it dripped every few seconds.

That changed about 3 weeks ago.  After my shower I turned off the faucet and it continued to let out a steady stream of water.  This could not be called 'dripping'.  No matter how hard I tried I could not get the thing completely off and the water practically poured out of it.  Frustrating.

I went about my business and got ready for the day, thinking that maybe the flow would slow a bit once the pipes were drained.  About 15 minutes later I went back to check and it was just like I had left it.  So I put that bucket under the faucet to measure how much was coming out.

That bucket, which holds 2.5 gallons, was full in 30 minutes.  I was aghast.  Holy precious water wasting, Batman!  It just so happens that I had to use the toilet then so instead of flushing with the flush handle I dumped my bucket of water into the toilet to flush.  Look at me with my savvy water saving knowledge! I then plugged the tub with the plan of using that water to flush until the maintenance guy could come up and fix my faucet.  After 10 hours the tub was full.  Insane.  Sadly, the maintenance guy had to drain a lot of my water to get at the faucet and fix it.  But it does not leak any more!

Pictorial Study of an Early Morning Run

While in Arkansas I had the privilege of going out and running through a portion of my childhood hometown.  I was really psyched about this because of the lower elevation and how much easier it would be to breathe.  You see, up here at almost 6000 feet above sea level there's less oxygen and my body has pumped up its red blood cell count so as to maximize the oxygen available.  I'm practically super human, right?  Running at 400 feet elevation would be like a walk in the park.

Wrong.  The air is freakishly thick and heavy and full of water and bugs and you have to chew it before you breathe it.  It weighs on you like a wet blanket.  It is not conducive to easy running.  But I ran anyway.  I ran because I like it and because I had the unique opportunity to run with my brothers and because it's good for me.  Yadayadayada.  And because we rewarded ourselves with Starbucks afterward.

One morning we went across the Arkansas river and back.  Really far, huh?  Told you I was super human.  Just kidding.  My parents live about 3 blocks from the river.  Anyway, the point is I took some pretty cool pictures with my nifty iPhone.  I want to share them with you.

 

Sunrise over the Arkansas River.

Praying mantis over the Arkansas River. I have a thing for praying mantids.

Oklahoma rain forest.

Road kill.  Sorry 'bout that.  Forget I posted it. Think about this instead:

Rosa's Deliciousness

Rosa's Cafe & Tortilla Factory is one of the best Tex-Mexican places to eat.  Sadly, they are only in West Texas.  I've craved nachos, steak burritos, tomatillo salsa and chocolate cake from there for over 2 years.  :le sad sigh:

As we sped through Amarillo a few weeks ago after our week in Arkansas I saw a billboard for Rosa's and my mouth immediately began to water.  We were not hungry really; we'd just had lunch an hour out of Oklahoma City and some light snacks shortly after the OK/TX border.  But the part of my brain that reminds me to indulge in simple pleasures when I can because that's what life is made of, that part I'm trying to listen to a lot more often -- that part was screaming at me, "Stop! Gobble up some nachos! Snarf down a hunk of chocolate cake! It will be good for you!"

So we did.  I cut across 3 lanes of I-40 traffic and careered down the exit ramp, flipped a quick U-ie and came to a happy stop right in front of Rosa's.

I pinkpuffyglitteryheart Rosa's.

Denver Chalk Art Festival

And the childen's artwork:

My Kidlets are Home With Me & Other Stuff

I enjoy my kid breaks.  I'd be crazy not to -- a single mom whose life is wrapped up in 3 not-so-small persons the majority of the time.  I need my breaks.  I relish them. 

But when we have a long break in the summer, I start to feel anxious toward the end of it.  I know that my summer freedom is not reality and I feel a little groundless after a while of that.  The kids and the routines that we have established help me feel rooted in real life.  There's not so much fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants when they're here and I need that.

Anyway, the kids are home with me again.  They started school last Monday.  The transition has gone shockingly smoothly.  The post-dad-spoiling detoxification has gone really well.  I'm afraid to think about that too much.  We're planning Miriam's birthday party, setting up play dates and soaking up all the last bits of summer that we can.

I'm finally officially registered for college again.  I'm waiting on the financial aid documentation to come through and shopping for books.  My schedule couldn't be better, really.  I'm cutting back my work days to just 3 per week -- Monday, Wednesday and Friday.  All my classes are online so I'll stay at home on Tuesday and Thursday to do school work.  I will be taking clinical calculations (a math class), microbiology and nutrition.

The way ADN programs work in Colorado is a little different from the way they work in Texas.  All of my credits from Texas transferred (Yay!) and I have a few that I didn't even need.  That means when this semester is finished I'm technically done with pre-requisites and can apply to next fall's ADN program in February.  I'll use next semester to take pre-reqs for the BSN program that I want to transfer to when I'm done with ADN.

I have two chances to get into the ADN program, which is merit-based.  I can apply to the straight ADN program, which takes 2 years and I can apply to the LPN to ADN program, which is one year.  I have excellent chances of getting into either of them, though obviously the bridge is more desirable because of its brevity. I'm really excited.  I want to the get the next couple of brutal years over with so I can have more options open to me.

I've slowly realized that this is the optimal time to get school over with.  I wanted to wait until my kids were a little older so I wouldn't have to depend on day care to get us through it. However, I can't wait until they're too much older because then they could potentially spend a lot of time at home alone while I'm in school and I definitely don't want that, either.  So this is perfect.  I'll be completely done with school before Solomon gets to high school and then I can spend more time with the kids, transporting them to extra curricular activities and spectating at band concerts and athletic games.  They're really going to need me a lot then and I can be there for them.

I have lots more to write about but it will have to wait.  We have a birthday party and shoe shopping on the agenda for today and it's time to get started.

Cadillac Ranch

I am so glad we stopped here.  It is one of those things we will never forget.