Open Letters

Dear Apartment Manager:

I understand that you cannot control everything that happens in and around this complex. However, neither can I and it's not my job. It is unfair to me, a responsible resident, to keep locking up the fitness center and pool due to the irresponsibility of a few residents. Find a way to keep these facilities open on a regular basis or you can pay for a bike, gym membership and a pool membership for my family. Furthermore, when my lease is up in February, this may be the determining factor in whether I sign another one here or look elsewhere.

Sincerely Yours,
Disgruntled Resident


Dear Irresponsible Residents:

You suck. It's pathetic that you can't or won't or don't control your children. Letting them throw pool furniture into the pool is unacceptable. Letting them throw rocks into the pool is unacceptable. And to whomever continues breaking into the business center and messing with the computers -- I've got an extra special dose of 'You Suck' right here, just for you. It's big and hairy and gangrenous. Enjoy.

This is ridiculous. It's enough to make a rational, peaceful-minded person like myself begin wishing destruction upon you all. And that's saying something. I'm going to strongly recommend that your rents be raised accordingly to pay for the bike, gym membership and pool membership that my family requires since you and your disgusting hellions can't act like respectable members of society.

Also, if I personally see one of your disgusting hellions intentionally destroying complex property, I'm going to drag them by their ridiculous hair and nasty pants to your front door and drop them there so you can answer for yourself. And then I'm writing you a referral for Super Nanny. Idiots.

Sincerely,
Angry Neighbor