This is America! Speak English!

Whatever.  This statement irritates me to the point of incoherence but I'm going to attempt to break down exactly why I get so annoyed, frustrated and yes, even angry when I hear it.  This should be self-evident to the general population but obviously it isn't, judging by the ignorance I see and hear around me every day.  Here we go.  (And please excuse my semi-graphic language.  I'm a little worked up.  And sometimes I can vent my worked-upedness with a few well-placed, gross descriptions.)

First, the great United States of America does not have an official language.  In case it's not clear, our language was borrowed from -- get this, you're gonna love it! -- the English!  And I'd wager money that a lot of Brits look down upon this bastardization of their language.

Second, one of the great principles of this country is that everyone is welcome.  If we're going to tell people they're welcome to join us and be part of our communities we can't very well hit them with the stipulation that they must learn "our" language first, can we?  The vast majority of people immigrating to this country do their best to learn and speak English as quickly as they can.  The narrow-minded punks that insist on mimicking their accents or sneering at their mispronunciations suck major donkey balls.

Third, most individuals looking down upon non-English speakers have never tried to learn another language themselves.  If they had, they'd think twice about slamming immigrants for their speech.  It's really freaking hard, and I know that first hand.

Fourth, having duplicate or even triplicate instructions on customer service menus, at the grocery store or any where else isn't hurting anyone who speaks English as a first -- or only -- language.  And it can mean all the world to someone struggling to learn English.  Being able to compare words and sentence structure side-by-side was a major factor in my learning Spanish as quickly as I did.

Fifth, learning another language can be pretty humiliating.  I still mess up my Spanish sentence structure and verb tenses way more than I care to admit.  I know I do it and I'm trying to do better all the time, but it's still embarrassing.  Fortunately, the patients I work with understand that, are grateful that I make the attempt and they are extremely patient and helpful when I do mess up.  If they instead laughed at me or made me feel like less of a human, I'd be really hurt.  Can you imagine how someone who's new to the country and doing the best they can feels when an American laughs at them?

Sixth, world-wide, the opinion of Americans is pathetically low.  Part of this is our arrogance and our basic refusal to learn the languages of our neighbors.  People who insist, "This is America, speak English!" are only serving to reinforce the idea that Americans are the festering canker sores on the hairy ass of humanity.

I understand that my opinion is the way it is because of my fairly unique background.  I married into a family of immigrants and learned their language by immersion.  I've spent most of my adult life in a community whose population consisted of nearly 1/3 Hispanic people, most of whom spoke Spanish and English.  Most of my career so far has been spent working in a school where white children were the minority.  I have a broad perspective.  And I refuse to cowtow to the pathetic ignorance of a sad majority.

I also understand that there are some people who come to this country and refuse, outright, to learn English.  I've met some of them.  But they are a tiny minority of the immigrant population.  It's unfair for everyone to be judged the same way because of them.

And this is why my blood pressure spent the better part of yesterday around 140/90.