10 Ways to Annoy a Nurse

1. Show up 14 minutes late, just shy of the time I can refuse to see you and re-schedule you for a little later in the day when there is time.
2. Show up 14 minutes late, nod acceptingly when I explain that the patients who were on time will be seen first and then get mad at me when the doctor isn't in your exam room after 20 minutes.
   
3. Bring food to eat in the exam room.  First off, that's disgusting -- do you know what goes on in those rooms?  Second, your kids will unfailingly drop and crunch at least 7 Goldfish crackers/Cheerios/whatever and I'll have to clean it up.  Third, there is a freaking sign that says "No Food or Drink Please."  We even said please.
4. Way over stress about the shot your kid is going to get and cause them to completely freak out.
5. Don't tell your kid anything about the shot until I show up with it and then act like it's completely abnormal for her to be a little freaked out.
6. Threaten your kid with the punishment of a shot if they don't behave.
7. Tell your kid they can have a sucker if they behave, watch them act like a demon-possessed monster and then hand them a sucker anyway.
8. Do the above-mentioned thing and then wail about how you can't get your child to behave in public ever and how you think they might have a mood disorder and need drugs and therapy.
9. Call me 20 hours after your child was diagnosed with the flu and say that they still aren't any better and that I need to do something about it.  Seriously, do you think the simple act of going to the doctor, being diagnosed with a viral illness and then going home will cure your child?  It takes time.
   
10. Call me 15 minutes before we close and say that your child's stomachache still isn't better after 48 hours and then be irritated when I say we can see him tomorrow or you can take him to the emergency room.  Granted, that's a long time to have a stomachache and not eat, especially when the kid is 4.  But what do you expect me to say when you call that late in the day?