Friday, March 12, 2010

The Number, Part 7

Oof.  I'm unmotivated and here's why:
  1. I'm not going to win the Biggest Loser Challenge amongst my online friends.  There's a chick there, P, who is incredibly disciplined.  Plus, she is just better at this than I am.
  2. I'm not so sure I want to run the 10K in May.  There's a registration fee involved and I'm kinda thinking that maybe it's not worth it.  I mean, why should I pay someone else to let me run 10K?  Maybe I'll do some shorter (free) 3Ks and 5Ks
  3. I'm tired of counting calories.  I stopped counting last weekend because I figured I'd learned how to eat well enough that I could.  But then I gained over the weekend.  :sigh:  I still want to lose at least as much weight as I've already lost so I need to keep up the counting.  But I'm tired.
  4. I want french fries.
But I have to keep going.  I deserve this.  I deserve to feel good about myself, to be fit, to be confident, to wear the clothes I love.  And I know I can do this.  It's never been a matter of can. It's a matter of discipline.  And right now I'm feeling rather undisciplined.  I need to snap out of the funk.

1 comment:

t. said...

{hug} aw, jess. i'm sorry you're having a rough patch right now with regards to eating/fitness. i think that happens to us all. (for me it's like every weekend - blah!) i'm on the road to feeling more disciplined, but it's taken a long time to get here (and i'm nowhere near as disciplined as i could/would like to be).

i hate when races charge people to run. i've always wanted to do a big charity walk, but the amount of dough needed was so astronomical that it always put me off.

don't sell yourself short in the BLC. and even if you don't beat everyone else in the end, you've still accomplished a lot, so don't give up!