Keep Your Dog on a Leash. Please.

Colorado is a very dog-loving place. People are constantly walking dogs, running dogs, playing with dogs, transporting dogs, hugging dogs, picking up after dogs. It's a very happening place for dogs.

Initially, I thought this was great. Two of my three children are rather frightened of dogs and I've been doing all I can for the past few years to help them get over their fears. When we moved here and I saw all the dogs, I thought this would be a great place to continue that.

Lately I've come to second-guess those thoughts, though. A dozen times in the last couple of months, my little family and I have been outside enjoying the fresh air when a dog wandered over to sniff us or something near us. Each time there was an apologetic owner behind them. It always goes something like this, "I'm sorry, she's a really nice dog and just loves kids." Most of the time we have been in areas that are designated 'leash areas.'

Now, I have no problem with dogs themselves. What I do have a problem with is owners who think that having a nice dog gives them license to ignore leash laws. Their nice dog is overly friendly to my children. This is not a good thing when a child is already scared of dogs. One overly friendly dog can un-do in five seconds what I have accomplished in an entire year of dog acclimation with my kids. Careless dog owners are not helping me help my kids and it's really irritating me.

The most recent offender met us on the stairs this morning. When I opened the door to go out, I heard what sounded like two very exuberant dogs communicating with each other. I peeked out the landing window to be sure that both dogs were on leashes. One was not. I could not see its human any where. As I debated whether to head down the stairs or go back inside to avoid it knocking over my child, it came bounding up the stairs at us. Twenty paces behind was a young guy who laughed and said, "Sorry, it's really okay. He's fine."

Um, it's really not okay. Your dog may be fine, but my kid is cowering behind me with his heart pounding out of his chest. It's not fine.

I Miss This

It has been a hectic several days. I have had fleeting thoughts of this place and even a few ideas for writing. Something always comes up though and I rush off to the next activity before I finish a whole post. Never fear, however -- I shall return. And when I do, I'm sure the words will just come tumbling out.

I Shall Smite Thee

I belong to an internet message board. It's a regular part of my internet life and for the most part, it remains safely ensconced within that boundary. There are occasions, however, when the message board seeps into my Real Life.

Most recently, it's been with the smiting of people. See, on this particular message board, there is this karma function. You can use it to smite someone or applaud them, according to your whim. The vast majority of the time, karma is left alone and no one really thinks about it except for silly little jokes. Lately, I've found myself wanting to give people internet smites in my Real Life.

Use the phrase 'puppy niece' one too many times in my presence and you may find yourself the recipient of my personal smite.

Cut me off in traffic?

Smite.

Offer me two sizes of coffee and call them medium and large?

Smite.

Allow your child to shred the exam table paper all over the room and not pick up at least some of it?

Smite. Repeatedly.

Sometimes I Annoy Myself

I have a little problem. Clutter stresses me out. At work we all switch desks, depending on the nurses working and which doctors are in the office that day. There is only one desk that is acceptable to me. The others are piled with papers, post-its, pens, paper clips and dust. It's very troubling.

I'm the same way at home. I have figured out my own system for keeping the clutter at bay and it works for me, as long as I have some time to devote to de-cluttering every week. If, for some reason, I don't have time to take care of little things here and there, I get irritable. If things pile up too much, I get down right grouchy.

At that point, I have to stage an intervention on myself due to the condition of my own house. We eat cereal and sandwiches for a weekend, the kids watch way too much tv and I clean, de-clutter and toss stuff for 48 hours. It's pretty exhilerating.

Every once in a while, the breaking point occurs at the same time the kids are gone for a few days. This is convenient because then I can get everything done much more quickly and not feel as if I'm border-line neglecting them.

The aforementioned problem occurs when I get so caught up in the organizing and cleaning that I can't relax. I'll cook dinner with the intention of eating and watching a movie. When I'm done eating, the kitchen has to be cleaned immediately or I won't enjoy the movie. Then I'll realize that the floor needs to be swept. I might as well mop, too. Which leads to the bathroom floors. And that reminds me that the bathroom trash cans are full. When they're emptied I see that the big trash can is full and carry it to the dumpster. Surely you see where this is going.

And so we return to the title -- Sometimes I just really annoy myself.

Kite Flying

We flew kites today. I had been planning to take the kids out with their kites for the last two weeks, but the weather was either too cold or not windy enough. Or there was other stuff to do.

Today was perfect, though. Nothing else to do, sunny, cool and with a perfect wind. So we headed to an open field with our kites. As we crossed the street, I saw a huge gray cloud in the distance. No big deal, we see them all the time since we are on high ground.

As I was putting together the first kite, the wind picked up a lot. The temperature dropped noticeably. Then, all of a sudden, it started to rain. Wait. That's not rain, it's actually frozen, making it sleet or hail or snow -- whatever you call it, it's frozen and it stings when it hits. Samuel was stumbling around blindly because he didn't want to open his eyes.

We took cover in Jennifer and Caleb's van and tried to decide if we should wait it out, or call it quits. Just as I was getting really disappointed and about to suggest that we leave, the snow/hail/sleet/rain blew over and it was sunny again. Weird Colorado.

Anyway, we had a great time flying our kites. The kids took to it really well, especially Miriam. She couldn't get her kite off the ground, but if someone else did it for her, she could control it and keep it from crashing. Yay!

We were having so much fun running around the field to avoid crashing kites that we didn't even notice the inches of mud caking up on our shoes. The grass in the field is pretty new and it is in very loose soil. The little bit of moisture that fell made a subtle mud that we didn't notice until it was too late. The kids thought this was hilarious. We spent a good ten minutes scraping mud off of everyone's shoes after we put away the kites.

All in all, a great afternoon! I can't wait to take the kids out for it again.

It's Definitely a Very Small World

Yesterday I checked in a patient that had just returned from out of town. Her parents were following up with their doctor here because she'd been very sick and had to be admitted to the hospital. Her mother handed me the hospital discharge summary. It was in Fort Smith; the very hospital where I did nursing clinicals 8 years ago.

At Chick-Fil-A today, I mentioned to the cashier that we recently moved here from Texas. He asked where in Texas and I told him Midland. As I took another breath to explain where that is -- because no one ever knows -- he said, "No way, that's where I grew up!"

Sometimes life is so weird, I wouldn't believe it if I weren't living it.

My Card

I took the kids shopping for Mom's Mother's Day card. While I was looking for the perfect, not-too-mushy card for Mom, Miriam asked if she could pick out a card. I said she could, after all, card shopping takes a while.

After several minutes, I had about forgotten that Miriam was also shopping when she tapped my arm. She held up a card and asked, "Can we get this for you?" I said yes again and then she asked me to read it. Well, it's not Mother's Day yet but I can't really refuse to read the card that she picked for me. Besides, when I am paying for my own Mother's Day card, all the rules change, right? Ha!

Now, it's cutsey and mushy and glittery and if my own child hadn't picked it out for me, I never would have given it a second look. But the fact that my daughter read several cards in the display and picked this one, made me tear up. Yes, I am a complete and total sap.

So here's what it says:

I may be just a little kid,

but I'm big enough to know

my mommy thinks I'm really sweet

and loves to tell me so.

I may be just a little kid,

but I'm big enough to feel

the love my mommy has for me,

so cozy, warm and real.

I may be just a little kid,

but I'm big enough to see

that of all the mommies in the world,

My mommy's the best for ME!

I told you it was cutesy. But it's the first time any of my children have picked a card specifically for me. It's like the first time Solomon, at age 3, gave me his own glued, scribbled construction paper picture frame with a Polaroid of him in the middle. It took my breath away.

Bigfoot is in Overdrive

Good grief! It's stomping around now as if it wants to break through my ceiling. Plus, it is vacuuming. That vacuum is louder than the foot stomps, if you can imagine that. How can one creature make so much noise? How?!

I thought about thumping on my ceiling with the broom handle in hopes of making it aware of how thin the barrier between us is. But then I thought better of it; it's best not to anger it. I need to invest in some industrial strength ear plugs. Maybe the kind used by construction guys working the jack hammer?

I think I'm going to lose my mind.

The Worst Thing

The worst thing someone can do to me -- other than harm my children -- is to lie to me. I hate it more than anything else in the world. And that's really saying something if you consider how much I hate when people interrupt me or talk at me with food falling out of their mouths.

This is why I am still awake at 12:45 on a Wednesday morning. One of the reasons that being lied to makes me so angry is that I am the one stuck not being able to sleep. I didn't do anything wrong and yet, here I am, wide awake.

I could go on for a long time about all the reasons that I hate dishonesty, but I think those reasons are fairly obvious to decent human beings. Plus, I'd probably end up writing out some totally nonsensical garbage since I am both mad and tired.

To sum up, I hate dishonesty with the heat of a thousand white-hot suns.

Hiking

We went hiking today. The kids really surprised me. We trekked 2.7 miles in the foothills and there were surprisingly few complaints. They even said they had fun. Imagine that.

For Your Giggling Pleasure

Samuel: Mommy, can I take off my shirt?
Me: Why?
Samuel: Because wearing my shirt is just so boring!


He's now pushing a Tonka truck with his green teddy bear in the back, sans shirt. I'm not sure how this is so much more exciting than the same activity with a shirt, but he's thrilled.

The Perfect Storm

I have two rather extensive computer labs due tomorrow. I have a pharmacology exam due on Monday. The final is Wednesday. The final for my computer class is due on Tuesday and it has be taken in the presence of a proctor. The proctor is never available to schedule testing time.

I have a headache that ibuprofen isn't touching. I am out of Dr. Pepper. I didn't sleep enough last night. I just ate too much boxed macaroni and cheese. The kids have way too much energy for it to be 7:30 pm. A large serving of neon green beverage was spilled on the carpet at dinner.

It's May and it snowed 2 inches yesterday. The high today was too freaking cold to pass for May or anything even close to it. My windshield cracked yesterday during the snow storm. Not a little crack, either -- many long, silvery, nasty cracks.

I can feel all of this combining into one big mess, the likes of which I haven't seen in a while. Poo poo on today.

Riddle Me This

I saw an advertisement on a public school bus today. It's not the first one I've seen since moving here, either. Is that why the school district is so good? They supplement tax payer dollars with advertising revenue?

I'm not sure what I think about that; actually I'm not sure what to think about that.

Walk Tall

There is a song titled Walk Tall by John Mellencamp. I can't get enough of it. I have searched the internets far and wide for months and have not been able to find it to add to my playlist. Boo. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find this song for me. If you find it, I'll be forever indebted to you. Really.

Here are the lyrics to get you started:

The simple minded
And the uninformed
Can be easily led astray
And those that cannot connect the dots
Hey, look the other way
People believe what they want to believe
When it makes no sense at all
So becareful of those who
Kill in Jesus' Name and don’t believe in
Killing at all.

Somewhere out in the distance
Is the death of you and me
Even though we don't think of it much
It's still out there for us to see
If you treat your life like a bar room fight
You'll die stinking of gin
No drunkards allowed in heaven
No sinners will get in.

So be careful in what you believe in
There's plenty to get you confused
And in this land called paradise
You must walk in many men's shoes
Bigotry and hatred are enemies to us all
Grace, mercy and forgiveness
Will help a man walk tall.

Those are just the verses. The chorus is a bunch of 'walk talls' that sort of run into each other and are kind of a pain to wade through in printed form. Anyway, if you find a link to the song, let me know. My undying gratitude will be your prize. And if you can't find it, well then, enjoy the lyrics.

Grant Me Strength

Some days, I swear I won't make it to the end of this parenting gig with my sanity in tact. My daughter occasionally acts as if she has taken a leave of absence from her body and allowed 47 varieties of hysterical body snatchers to take up residence there. It's enough to reduce my usual calm self to the gnashing of teeth and the wearing of sackcloth and ashes.

:deep sigh:

Today, it began with the refusal to wear the outfit that was perfectly acceptable only 10 minutes earlier. Once the clothing issue was settled, she decided that when I trimmed her hair last night, I trimmed it too short. A continuous wail of "My-hair-is-too-short-I-want-my-hair-long" ensued on the walk out the door, down the stairs, to the car and half way to school.

When I picked her up this afternoon, she pouted when I asked about her spelling test, even though she did extremely well on it. At home, she wanted to paint but we are, sadly, out of both water colors and the not-so-washable washable paint. This was cause for more pouting and whining, "But I want to paaaaaaaaaaaaaaint." A brief time out fixed her attitude momentarily -- until she decided that she wanted to change into her pajamas for movie night.

Now, changing into her pajamas wasn't the problem. (I was just fine with this because pajamas mean sleepiness and sleepiness leads to actual sleep very quickly with this child.) No, the problem occurred when she shouted at her brother to leave the room so she could change. I prompted her to ask politely and she responded by shoving said brother. Another trip to time out, accompanied by more screeching and wailing -- this time, for Daaaaaaaaaaaad-dyyyyyyyyyyyyy. My response? Sweetheart, Daddy wouldn't be too happy about your behavior right now, either.

:deeper sigh:

The rum on top of the fridge is beginning to look very enticing.

My New Favorite Movie

I know I'm about 4 months behind the rest of the country, but I finally watched Juno. Best movie I have seen in a very long time. I enjoyed every minute of it. In fact, I watched it on Monday night and could have watched it again immediately if it hadn't been so late. I did watch it again on Wednesday night. In order to leave it unspoiled for those who haven't seen it, I'll avoid saying anything about specifics.

I will say though, that it is an excellent story, told by wonderful actors in an ordinary setting that makes it easy to relate to. It runs the emotional gamut with hilarious comedic moments, a few incredibly touching scenes and still others that are very uncomfortable. It's tied together perfectly, coming full circle in the end. It even makes you second guess the ending that you know just has to happen. It's a very smart movie, too. Even after seeing it twice, I'm left with a few questions about the back story; they're not important in the grand scheme of the movie, but it's enough of a mystery to be intriguing.

This is one for my meager DVD collection. And I hardly ever say that.

Creative Parenting

There are times during a parent's life when a white lie is easier than most any other route. I discovered this last summer when Solomon developed arachnophobia. It got so bad that he couldn't sleep at night for fear that a spider might crawl on him.

I tried reasoning with him. We had never seen a spider in the house. Spiders are here to help us by eating flies and mosquitoes. Spiders don't want to bite people. On and on my explanations went and still he refused to sleep.

After a week of this, I was at the end of my rope. I dug out a bottle of Bath & Body Works body spray and told my sweet, innocent child that it was No More Spider Spray. I spritzed him, his sheets, his pillow and his bed frame with No More Spider Spray.

It worked like a charm. He was asleep within 5 minutes. For the next few months, any time he sensed that it was spider dinner time, he asked for the spray and I complied. Crisis averted. I felt slightly guilty about lying to my child, but bed time was so much easier that I didn't let it bother me too much. It got us through a rough patch and everything is fine now.

I had to tell another white lie tonight, though. Samuel just knew there was a monster hiding behind the shower curtain. Did you know it's impossible to brush your teeth with a monster in the bathtub? Well, it is -- until Mommy saves you with her magic No More Monster Spray.

Making a Difference

I miss my old job. It was frustrating in a lot of respects. There was always something unfinished. I was usually behind on at least half a dozen things. Some of the parents were maddening in their capacity for complete ignorance, no matter how many conversations I had with them.

But I miss it because I really felt like I made a difference to some people. I knew it when a mother left my office, relieved that she had a dentist to take her child to. I knew it when a panicked child calmed down during his breathing treatment. I knew it when a Spanish-speaking-only parent realized that not only could I understand him, but I could also help him get a doctor's appointment for his child with a 104 degree fever.

I miss the people I worked with. They knew what I was going through because they were going through it, too. All my frustrations and victories were the same for them. We were a team and we worked together so well.

I miss the kids in the school. So many of them were in my office regularly. I got to know them and their conditions. I worked with their parents to coordinate things at school and at home. I wonder how a few of them are doing now and how much they've grown.

I really miss feeling like I am making a difference. Some people might think I have an over-blown sense of myself after reading that sentence. I don't know; maybe I do, maybe I don't. Whatever it is, I know I don't get the same feeling from my current job. I really hope to get back to the same environment some day.

PSA 2

To All Parents:

When you take your young child to the doctor's office, do not lie and say that the nurse is not going to give them a shot. Do not say to your child, "She's only checking your leg," as the nurse lays the child on the table, immoblizing arms and legs. Do not continue denying that they are getting a shot as their thigh is swabbed with alcohol and the nurse uncaps the needle. Just don't do it. They will grow up hating nurses, doctors and anyone else who wears scrubs or lab coats. And a tiny part of them will resent you forever.

Conversely, do not threaten your child with the punishment of getting shots for misbehaving in the waiting room. No one likes shots. Even nurses don't like giving them. But they serve a purpose and it's pretty useful. It isn't punishment, it's just a fact of life. Teach your child how to deal with this fact of life. Failing that, shut up and let the nurse deal with educating your child and holding them down.

My Favorite Things

Homemade popcorn, popped the old-fashioned way, with a little oil in a heavy pan. Real butter drizzled over it and a slight dusting of salt and pepper make it perfect.

The smell of my children's necks, not right after a bath when they are scent-heavy with fruity shampoo, but about 24 hours afterward. Just like when they were infants, their own scent is about the best in the universe.

An overcast sky with a hint of balminess in the air, rain coming in with the wind. I could sit outside for hours like that.

Driving to and from work while listening to audiobooks. It's the only way I have time for anything remotely resembling contact with literature while I'm in school and working.

Fresh, clean sheets on my bed. This is best after a long day of house cleaning and laundry. Going to bed after a day like that is heavenly.

Learning a new job and being good at it. This week, I've learned how to document immunizations on the state registry, mix and administer a variety of injections, run urinalysis, draw up urine cultures, run strep tests and read the results.

Running the car through a good wash, vacuuming the whole thing out, scrubbing melted candy off the seats, wiping smeared fingerprints off the windows and throwing out all the garbage that collects under the booster seats.

Discovering a new, awesome song. Today, it was "My Medicine" by Snoop Dogg. Seriously.

Hillary Clinton has admitted she won't gain enough delegates to win the Democratic presidential nomination. She won't concede the race to Barack Obama (because she thinks a winner will be declared at the DNC), but she's admitted at least that much and it makes me giggle.