What I Did Last Night

I work with someone who always asks me what I did 'last night.' She asks this in the same leisurely, half-interested way that people with no responsibilities ask each other what they Did Over the Weekend. If it were anyone else, it probably wouldn't bother me but she annoys me in lots of other ways so this is just one more straw.

(This same woman commented on my children being with their father for a month this summer and said, "Man, I wish I had had a set up like that when my kids were little." Really? You wish you didn't see your kids for a month and that during the school year, they missed their dad constantly? Really? You wish you had had that? She's also the same one that thinks everyone with state-funded insurance is lazy. She's a real gem.)

Plus, she's really out of touch with what it's actually like to have young children. She has 2 grown children and she seems to have forgotten what it's like to have them constantly needing something. For example, last week I walked into the office at 8:28, gulping down the rest of my lukewarm coffee from a travel mug with my first patient already in the waiting room. She breezed past me and said, "You have more time than I do in the mornings if you've already had your coffee." My jaw dropped. She had no clue that my morning started at 5:30 with a child's wet bed, a 5-minute shower and make up put on at red lights. I kind of wanted to kick her in the shin, just a little bit.

Later that day she stretched lazily and asked me, "So what did you do last night, besides go home and crash?" I was already ticked at her for the earlier comment about my morning and I didn't trust myself to answer nicely. So I didn't answer her. But if I had, I might have said something like this:

Well, I left here at 5:25 at a dead run to avoid paying $5 per minute per child for missing the 6:00 pm pick up deadline for the after care program. I barely made it there in time due to the horrendous traffic.

By the time we got home it was after 6 and all the kids had homework so I simultaneously signed homework folders, read homework instructions, cooked dinner, unloaded the dishwasher and moved more clean laundry to the ever-growing pile of clean laundry. We had dinner and finished most of the kids' homework.

Then I sent the eldest to the shower, bathed the middle child and put off the youngest's bath until this morning. I supervised the kids' teeth brushing, called their father so they could tell him about their day, picked up some toys, straightened beds, turned on night lights and music and finally turned out the light. I tucked in all 3 children and barely resisted the urge to pass out in their beds with them.

After that I cleaned up the dinner dishes, put away leftovers, swept the floor, reminded myself to take out the trash this morning, started another load of laundry and wiped up pee splatters around the toilets. I debated whether or not to watch television and decided to go to bed instead. And I forgot to brush my teeth.