True Feminism

I've been mulling over this idea for more than a year.  I've wanted to write about it for almost that long but I haven't been able to find the words.  A cousin posted something related to this on Facebook recently so I've been thinking about it more.  I'm still not sure I have the words but  I've decided just to take the plunge any way.

Feminism as a word has become distorted.  People misuse it and misrepresent it.  They use it as an insult or they're insulted by it.

Feminism as a movement was necessary and wonderful.  It was the civil rights movement for women.  It was a time when women decided they weren't going to be told what to do by men or by society just because they were women.  It was a time when women said that it doesn't matter if your chromosomes are XY or XX, you should have choices and you should have a voice.

Feminism today has morphed into this ugly, distorted idea that women are better than men.  I don't think that's what any Suffragists meant when they marched for their rights.  I think they wanted true equality.  I think they'd be horrified at the man-bashing that happens in so much of society now.

I see women today give their husbands and partners nasty looks that they'd never tolerate themselves.  I hear them say things about their men and to their men that are truly horrifying.  I hear condescension and patronization and disgust in their voices.  It's every where -- on television, in music, in daily conversation, in sweeping generalizations.

I know that not all women enjoy all the benefits that men do.  I know that in other parts of the world, the plight of women is as horrible as it's always been.  I know that even in the United States not all women make what their male counterparts make in the same careers.  I know that. For most of us, however, life is good and getting better.  And it certainly does not justify the anger that some women harbor toward men at just being a woman.

The pendulum has swung too far in the other direction in a lot of respects.  It's not right.

The flip side of this are the women who say with horror, "Oh, I'm not a feminist!" as if it were some horrible condition requiring an exorcism.  And to that I say, what's so wrong with being a feminist?  What's wrong with being on equal footing with men?  What's wrong with embracing all the choices you have and picking something you love because you love it, not because you're supposed to?  What's wrong with not depending on a man to provide and lead and make decisions?

Being a feminist does not mean giving up on marrying, having children, making a home, even staying at home to raise children while foregoing a career outside the home.  Being a feminist does not mean you're automatically a power-mongering, money-grabbing bitch.  Being a feminist means that you support your rights and the rights of other women to choose what to do with life.  It means that you have freedom.  It is not a bad thing.