I Am So Proud

Miriam is in an advanced reading class.  I'm extremely proud of that but it's not the reason for this post.  Her class has been learning how to tell stories with expression and emotion.  To do that each student has memorized a story from another culture and they have presented them to each other in pairs and to their class as a whole.  Last night they presented them to family and friends in a show called the Folk Tale Festival.

Miriam started talking up the Folk Tale Festival several weeks ago.  She seemed really excited about it and kept asking if we could go.  At that point I wasn't sure what it was.  But then she came home 2 weeks ago with an invitation that she made herself.  I realized then that the Folk Tale Festival coincided with the ex-husband coming to town to spend this weekend with the kids since they have 2 days off school.  I thought that was a perfect opportunity for him to see more of where the kids are and who they're with all day.  The ex-husband agreed that it was a good idea and we made plans for it.

When I got off the phone Miriam collapsed into a crying mess and said that she didn't want to go.  It was a huge mess, figuring out what was wrong.  We finally decided that Miriam was probably nervous about performing in front of not just a group of strangers, but also her parents.  The teacher told me that Miriam was under no obligation to actually tell her story in public, that her grade was already determined by her work in class.  So I told Miriam that she would decide whether to perform her story and we left it there.

Last night I had serious doubts that she'd actually go through with it.  She still wouldn't commit to performing but wouldn't say that she wasn't doing it, either.  Finally, at the very end Miriam got up, put on the microphone headset and introduced her story.  She was very quiet and didn't add any embellishments to the story but she did it!  She spoke clearly without stumbling on her words and she was fantastic!  I was so excited and proud I couldn't stand it.  I admit it, I cried.

Miriam amazes me.  I really don't know how to put this into sufficient words.  If you know her you know that she is possibly she shyest child ever born to this earth.  She's extremely emotional -- sadness, anger, happiness, giddiness, silliness, they're all expressed in extremes -- in the privacy of our family but other people rarely see this because of her extreme shyness.  I've worried that she might have trouble in social situations throughout her life because of this.  But now I know she's going to be fine.  She possesses determination, smarts and discernment already at this young age and that is a great reassurance to me.

Friday To Do List

1. pack the kids' weekend bag
2. wash, dry, fold, put away 4 loads of laundry   Or most of it.
3. pack up a few more odds and ends
4. unpack my new coffee maker
5. vacuum
6. clean toilets
7. wipe down counters
8. sort out clothes to be donated
9. drop off donations  Boxed up and ready to go.
10. go for a run? maybe?    Nope, not gonna happen!
11. lunch meeting at work
12. relax, minus children    In progress.

She is Definitely My Daughter

Miriam knows how to appropriately use their/they're/there and you're/your.  My job as a parent is at least 33.3% done.

edited to add: I forgot!  She also has its/it's down pat!

Ups & Downs at Work

I really love being a nurse.  If I can make a small difference in someone's life, for the better, it makes my life a little better.  It makes me feel good.  A lot of times making a difference as a pediatric nurse means supporting a parent when they deal with a severely ill child, or a child's suicide attempt or a devastating diagnosis.  Sometimes it means reassuring a first-time mom that her baby's ear infection will pass and she will sleep again.

Last week had its share of ups and downs.  We transported a young infant to the ER when her oxygen saturation dropped dangerously low, even after breathing treatments and supplemental oxygen.  This was especially tough because this baby has other problems that will require many painful surgeries. The parents also have a language barrier that makes this situation even more difficult and scarier than it would be for others.  My heart hurt for them.

 I also saw one of my favorite families last week.  This woman has two sons, the elder is at the Asperger end of the autism spectrum and the younger is at the opposite end, a severely autistic child.  I admire this woman for her strength and patience and for the obvious understanding and love she has for her sons.  Her boys are such sweet kids and it really brightens my day to see them.

Last week I had to swab the younger boy's throat to test for a strep infection.  He was miserably sick and understandably terrified, considering what we had to do.  After I set up the test I went back to check on him.  The mom asked me if I could stay with him for a couple of minutes while she ran to the bathroom.  So I stood by the exam table and held the boy's hand.  He laid there, whimpering in pain and clutching my hand.  I tried to calm him and after a minute he quieted.  He was petting a stuffed toy, his security item.  Then he opened my hand, placed his toy on my palm and closed my fingers around it.  And then he patted my hand.  And he made my whole week.

Veggies!

You know how They say you have to offer less palatable foods to resistant children multiple times?  Somehow you're supposed to be able to wear them down and sucker them into liking things like vegetables.  Well, my kids are living, breathing, eating proof that this works.

Seven years, I have tried to get Solomon to eat and enjoy citrus fruits.  Seven years.  Last week, he ate a clementine and now he loves them.

Miriam turned up her cute little nose at asparagus for the better part of two years. Then she relented and would eat just the stalks and leave behind the budded tops.  I told her tonight that we were having asparagus as part of dinner and she cheered.  And she ate the entire stalks and buds.

Samuel ate half a zucchini and half a yellow squash tonight.  He was sad when I told him I might not have room in the roasting pan for them since I was making several other things.  So I squeezed them in.

Also tonight, Solomon ate roasted carrots.  The kids have always been good at eating raw carrots but that requires mucho ranch dressing for dipping.  Tonight he ate 5 of them!

So, once again, They are right.  And I'm happy with Them.

Solomon's Birthmark

I discovered it about 4 hours after he was born.  It was late, the ex-husband was asleep on the pull-out sofa in our recovery room and Solomon and I had just sort of gotten the hang of nursing.  I inspected his bruised and misshapen head, thanks to the vacuum extractor.  I noticed that he has a cowlick on his forehead in the same place I have one.  I unwrapped his receiving blanket and looked him over.  I'd always thought it was weird when people said they counted their new baby's fingers and toes, but I did that, without even thinking.  And then I saw it -- a large, very dark birthmark on his right ankle, across the Achilles tendon.  I wondered if he'd be self-conscious of it when he grew older.  And then I thought how cool it was.

Throughout Solomon's infancy, people noticed his birthmark all the time.  He was born in late spring so there wasn't much need for socks and definitely not for shoes for several months.  Some people thought it was weird.  Others thought there was something wrong with him, and suggested that maybe I had forgotten to pin something metal to my clothing during the lunar eclipse that occurred while I was pregnant.  (I hadn't.  I don't buy into that sort of stuff, but I'd worn safety pins on my shirt that night to appease my in-laws and their friends.)  I still thought the birthmark was cool; it was unique and special, something that I'd never seen on another baby.

In the last few years I haven't given much thought to Solomon's birthmark.  He talks about it sometimes but mostly in neutral terms and I've never thought to ask him what he feels about it.  Tonight he mentioned that the skin is peeling from it.  He says it's shrinking.  He is troubled by this.  Part of it is his tendency to over-dramatize things, I'm sure.  But another part of it, I'm realizing, is that he thinks it's cool, too.  He identifies it as a part of him and he likes it.  I'm glad for that.

To appease Solomon, I traced the outline of the mark with a Sharpie and told him that we'll watch it for a couple of days to see if it's actually shrinking.  I'm pretty sure it isn't.

The tracing was fun.  Solomon is the most ticklish person I know.  It's become legendary.  He's so ticklish that having his physical exam done is almost impossible.  He can't stand to be touched with the otoscope, stethoscope or any other scope.  He's so ticklish, he's convinced himself that I can tickle him from across the room with my brain.  I'm serious.  So tracing his ankle with a Sharpie was hilarious!  I may or may not have gone over it a second time, just for grins.

More Schoolwork

This time from Samuel, a quiz on Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

My favorite part is 'segrugashin'.

I'm a Blogging Fool!

I just noticed that January 2010 has 18 posts in it!  I know that I kind of slacked off on my writing last year so I went back and looked at my blog roll for 2009.  I didn't write 18 posts during any month last year.  And I suppose this one makes 19 now.  We'll still count it, even though I'm gloating.  Ha!  Here's to more 19 entry months in 2010! :cheers:

The Number, Part 4

Today I wore jeans that aren't necessarily my Skinny Jeans, but they're jeans I haven't worn comfortably in quite some time. Let's call them my Less Fat Jeans. And you know what? They feel good.

It's been easier to count calories than I expected it to be. It was tedious and kind of a drag for the first couple of days. It's still a little tedious but I'm getting used to it. I found a couple of online tools that make it much easier.

It's nice to have a concrete goal every day. I've been so used to eating whatever I want in whatever quantities I want that I really had lost all concept of what was okay and healthy and considered to be 'in moderation.' It's kind of scary. If I'd continued that way for another year, I can honestly say that I'd start 2011 obese. Yikes. I'm happy to have found a way to be sure I'm eating the right amounts of food. The best part is that at the end of the day, if I'm a little under my calorie limit -- which happens a few times per week -- I can have a truffle and feel really good about it!

Found in Miriam's Schoolwork

Hero = Mom 

My mom is the best hero in the world. My hero is my mom because she is strong and caring. My mom is my hero for two reasons. The first reason is because she is strong and she raised three children and has a big family. The second reason my mom is my hero is because she is caring all the time and she makes good food for my brothers and I. I love my mom because she loves my brothers and I. Certinley my mom is my hero.

I guess I'm doing something right.

Delicious Food and ... Kenny G?

I'm not working today -- yay for PAs that go on 2-week vacations to Switzerland and leave the office needing only 2 nurses!  So that means I had time to meet Paul for lunch.  We met at a little hole-in-the-wall Moroccan place in Aurora.

The place was virtually empty.  Paul commented that it's weird how little places like that can stay open for years and years when every time he's there they have next to no customers.  He hypothesized that they're actually a front for the Moroccan Mafia or something.  I don't care what they might be fronting for -- the food was delicious!

We shared a vegetable and lentil soup called harrira, a plate called the Middle East Combination -- comprised of hummus, baba ghanouj and falafel -- and an artichoke salad with the best raspberry vinaigrette dressing I've ever tasted.  We also had cups of Moroccan mint tea that was really tasty and warming.  We're definitely going back, hopefully soon.

What struck me as funny about the place was the incongruity of the music they played.  The walls, dishes, tablecloths, furniture and artwork were all very distinctly Middle Eastern in design. But they had a CD player going with Kenny G. They're definitely fronting for something.

I Can Totally Do This!

I'm not working today -- yay for PAs that go on 2-week vacations to Switzerland and leave the office needing only 2 nurses!  So that means I had time to run and lift weights this morning.

I did awesomely, if I do say so myself.  I programmed the treadmill for an hour.  I almost chickened out and put in 30 minutes but decided I'll never make enough progress that way.  So an hour it was.  I still don't have the endurance to run for an hour straight but I walked a minimum, just enough to take a drink of water and catch my breath again.  Wanna know how far I went?  Three.eight miles.  Woot!  That's roughly 6 kilometers for you non-metric peoples. That means I can totally run 10 kilometers in 4 months!  I can do this!  I am doing this.

As a bonus, I burned over 300 calories.  That's more than my breakfast.

The Number, Part 3

An update of sorts ... The Number is slightly lower again.  I'm happy.  But you know what I'm happier about?  That physically, I feel a lot better than I did before I committed to this.

I purposely didn't count calories and purposely ate what I wanted to on Saturday.  I could feel my resolve beginning to crack and I was afraid I'd binge on truffles or something if I didn't change things up a bit.  I didn't go nuts or anything, I just wasn't so regimented.  And it was fine.  Then yesterday, I stuck with my calorie limit but it was all crappy food (i.e. nachos, popcorn, hot chocolate, macaroni and cheese, etc.).  Looking at that list really makes me wonder how I stayed within my caloric limit but somehow I did.  I didn't have a single vegetable.  Blech.  I paid for it, too.  I felt bloated and sick most of the evening.

It was so refreshing to stick with a healthy diet today.  Emotionally and physically I am much better off than I was 2 weeks ago.  I'm loving this.  It's a great incentive to keep it up.

Silent Letters

This is what Samuel and I shared at the movie theater today.  He read the container and said, "Hm.  I guess the 'F' and the 'U' in 'nacho' are silent."

I love this kid.

Glamorous Manicure

My hands are in bad shape.  That's what happens when you wash your hands 26.2 million times. Per hour.  Just kidding.  But I do wash my hands a lot.  On top of that, I apply alcohol sanitizers to my hands mulitple times per day.  And I swab vaccine vials with alcohol.  And I swab children's thighs and arms with alcohol.  And I sanitize various surfaces at work with alcohol. That adds up to cracked cuticles.  It doesn't matter if I apply lotion to my hands every time I wash them.  It doesn't matter if I lather up my hands with Eucerin every night.  It doesn't matter if I apply super glue to the cracks in my skin, either.  This particular cuticle has been in some sad state of disrepair since early November.  Yup, almost 3 months.  See that big, nasty crack?  It's been there since Thanksgiving.  We're becoming friends.  Aren't you jealous?

This is America! Speak English!

Whatever.  This statement irritates me to the point of incoherence but I'm going to attempt to break down exactly why I get so annoyed, frustrated and yes, even angry when I hear it.  This should be self-evident to the general population but obviously it isn't, judging by the ignorance I see and hear around me every day.  Here we go.  (And please excuse my semi-graphic language.  I'm a little worked up.  And sometimes I can vent my worked-upedness with a few well-placed, gross descriptions.)

First, the great United States of America does not have an official language.  In case it's not clear, our language was borrowed from -- get this, you're gonna love it! -- the English!  And I'd wager money that a lot of Brits look down upon this bastardization of their language.

Second, one of the great principles of this country is that everyone is welcome.  If we're going to tell people they're welcome to join us and be part of our communities we can't very well hit them with the stipulation that they must learn "our" language first, can we?  The vast majority of people immigrating to this country do their best to learn and speak English as quickly as they can.  The narrow-minded punks that insist on mimicking their accents or sneering at their mispronunciations suck major donkey balls.

Third, most individuals looking down upon non-English speakers have never tried to learn another language themselves.  If they had, they'd think twice about slamming immigrants for their speech.  It's really freaking hard, and I know that first hand.

Fourth, having duplicate or even triplicate instructions on customer service menus, at the grocery store or any where else isn't hurting anyone who speaks English as a first -- or only -- language.  And it can mean all the world to someone struggling to learn English.  Being able to compare words and sentence structure side-by-side was a major factor in my learning Spanish as quickly as I did.

Fifth, learning another language can be pretty humiliating.  I still mess up my Spanish sentence structure and verb tenses way more than I care to admit.  I know I do it and I'm trying to do better all the time, but it's still embarrassing.  Fortunately, the patients I work with understand that, are grateful that I make the attempt and they are extremely patient and helpful when I do mess up.  If they instead laughed at me or made me feel like less of a human, I'd be really hurt.  Can you imagine how someone who's new to the country and doing the best they can feels when an American laughs at them?

Sixth, world-wide, the opinion of Americans is pathetically low.  Part of this is our arrogance and our basic refusal to learn the languages of our neighbors.  People who insist, "This is America, speak English!" are only serving to reinforce the idea that Americans are the festering canker sores on the hairy ass of humanity.

I understand that my opinion is the way it is because of my fairly unique background.  I married into a family of immigrants and learned their language by immersion.  I've spent most of my adult life in a community whose population consisted of nearly 1/3 Hispanic people, most of whom spoke Spanish and English.  Most of my career so far has been spent working in a school where white children were the minority.  I have a broad perspective.  And I refuse to cowtow to the pathetic ignorance of a sad majority.

I also understand that there are some people who come to this country and refuse, outright, to learn English.  I've met some of them.  But they are a tiny minority of the immigrant population.  It's unfair for everyone to be judged the same way because of them.

And this is why my blood pressure spent the better part of yesterday around 140/90.

Recent Bumper Sticker

If you want to comment on my driving

call 1-800-EATSHIT

It was on the back of a semi.  And you know what the driver did?  Cut me off.  No signal, no brake lights, no looking, no nothing.  Just cut me off.

Addendum to the How to Annoy a Nurse Post

11.  Call to schedule an appointment for something simple, like an earache or a rash and then casually say, "By the way, could you take a look at his ingrown toenail, too?" or, "You know, she's been having all these headaches lately. What could that be?"  We schedule patients according to their ailments and if you need extra time, we're more than happy to give it to you.  But you have to let us know ahead of time!

10 Ways to Annoy a Nurse

1. Show up 14 minutes late, just shy of the time I can refuse to see you and re-schedule you for a little later in the day when there is time.
2. Show up 14 minutes late, nod acceptingly when I explain that the patients who were on time will be seen first and then get mad at me when the doctor isn't in your exam room after 20 minutes.
   
3. Bring food to eat in the exam room.  First off, that's disgusting -- do you know what goes on in those rooms?  Second, your kids will unfailingly drop and crunch at least 7 Goldfish crackers/Cheerios/whatever and I'll have to clean it up.  Third, there is a freaking sign that says "No Food or Drink Please."  We even said please.
4. Way over stress about the shot your kid is going to get and cause them to completely freak out.
5. Don't tell your kid anything about the shot until I show up with it and then act like it's completely abnormal for her to be a little freaked out.
6. Threaten your kid with the punishment of a shot if they don't behave.
7. Tell your kid they can have a sucker if they behave, watch them act like a demon-possessed monster and then hand them a sucker anyway.
8. Do the above-mentioned thing and then wail about how you can't get your child to behave in public ever and how you think they might have a mood disorder and need drugs and therapy.
9. Call me 20 hours after your child was diagnosed with the flu and say that they still aren't any better and that I need to do something about it.  Seriously, do you think the simple act of going to the doctor, being diagnosed with a viral illness and then going home will cure your child?  It takes time.
   
10. Call me 15 minutes before we close and say that your child's stomachache still isn't better after 48 hours and then be irritated when I say we can see him tomorrow or you can take him to the emergency room.  Granted, that's a long time to have a stomachache and not eat, especially when the kid is 4.  But what do you expect me to say when you call that late in the day?

The Number, Part 2

I know better than to check on The Number obsessively.  I was going to wait a couple more days but I couldn't help myself this morning.  I've been doing so well and feeling so great that I had to check.  And it's already decreased by 5.  I was in shock, much like the shock I felt when I saw how huge it was a few days ago.  There could be some extenuating circumstances involved in the decrease, but I'm not thinking about those.  I'm thinking about Minus 5.  Yay me!

The Number

The Number is big and bad and ugly.  The Number completely bummed me out yesterday.  The Number has caused me to completely re-commit myself to a healthier lifestyle.  The Number will go down.  It must.  I will prevail over The Number.  Oh, yes.  I will prevail.

I'm It

I was tagged by my friend, T.  She's awesome and stuff and I'd love for you all to meet her, but she's kind of private and I respect that so she will remain as anonymous as she wants to be.

Anyway, T tagged me.  (I like the sound of that sentence.)  And I'm supposed to compose a list of 10 things that make me happy, do one of those things today and then tag 10 other bloggers to do the same thing.  Or something. The problem/s here are a) It's 9:36 pm and I'm going to bed in 1 hour and b) I don't have 10 blogging friends.  :sob:  But I will not let that deter me.  Here I go.  Are you ready?

1. My kids.  What else?  No matter how much they frustrate me, no matter how many times they induce stress-eating, or how many times they make me cry or lose sleep or my sunglasses or my appetite or my patience or the marker in my book -- you getting the picture yet? -- they do make me happy.  They never cease to amaze me with their smarts and their funnies and their capacity for making up kinda lame knock-knock jokes.  I'm so lucky to be their mom.  They make me happy every day.
2. Paul.  What can I say about Paul? We have fun together.  He gets me.  He puts up with my neuroses and doesn't complain a bit.  He takes care of me and I take care of him. He tells me how awesome I am -- and I'm kind of starting to believe him.
3. Mountains.  I love the mountains.  They're truly breathtaking.  I am so fortunate to have the views that I do.
4. Cooking.  Cooking makes me sooo happy.  I love starting with a counter full of ingredients and transforming them into something delicious.  It's one of the best feelings in life.
5. Jeans and t-shirts.  I am not a high-fashion person, in any sense of the word.  I live for comfort and it doesn't get any better than broken-in jeans and a comfy t-shirt.
6. My car.  She's pretty.  She's rock-solid on ice and snow.  She thaws out her own windshield wipers and defrosts her own sideview mirrors.  She plays my favorite music straight from my iPod.   She warms my butt.  She makes me happy.
7. Ice cream.  Ice cream makes me happy.  Actually, ice cream might make me a little too happy, from the feel of my jeans lately.  Oops.
8. Running.  I can always think of something I'd rather do but once I get going, I feel like I can do anything.  I feel strong, I feel powerful, I feel invincible.
9. Organization.  I thrive on organizing my surroundings.  I can't handle clutter.  A place for everything and everything in its place, and all that jazz.  Alright, I'll quit.
10. Music.  Of course music.  I crave rhythms and melodies and counter-melodies.  I love how music can deepen and accentuate any emotion.  I love turning it up loud and losing myself in it.  Music makes me very happy.

So that's my list.  And I'm tagging the following:

1. Lance
2. Caleb  (This is a long shot since he hasn't blogged in roughly 15 months.)
3. Garbanzo (if he's still reading and/or blogging)

I would tag Michelle but I'm pretty sure T tagged her, too.  And I don't think the other blogs I read know who I am.

Moving Update

After much thought, I have decided that we will move to another apartment in this complex when our lease is up at the end of February.  I briefly considered buying a town house near here because this is such a great time to buy a house.  When I looked at my financial situation though, I decided that it might be better to buy in another year or two.  Just because it's good for most people to buy now doesn't mean it's good for me, you know?

Once I decided not to buy now, the next logical choice was to stay in this complex (the rent really can't be beat) or move to one of the other few in the kids' school district (their school really is unbeatable).  The others didn't have 3 bedroom apartments available in the time frame I needed them and this one did.  So we got lucky.  I hassled the leasing manager for 3 weeks and finally got a deal worked out.

So we're moving in less than two months.  I'm excited.  We'll have more storage space and Miriam will get her own room.  She's over the moon about that.  The new apartment is on the third floor, which is good and bad.  Good because we won't have Bigfoot or noisy fighting over our heads.  Bad because hauling groceries will be a major chore.  Anyway, it's all part of apartment life; a life I hope to leave behind in the next couple of years.

Happy New Year!

And Happy Birthday to this blog!  This is my third New Year's blog entry, even if it's a day late.  Wow, time really flies, huh?

We had a great New Year's Eve celebration.  Jennifer and Caleb hosted a game night that we pieced together with a lot of people that didn't know each other before now.  At one point in the night someone commented that I was the only person who really knew everyone at our party.  And it's true.  I invited work friends, new friends, an old friend from high school who was in the area and of course, there were siblings, significant others and children.  It was a great time.

We played a few games, ate a lot of food, had sangria, wine and some mixed drinks.  We toasted the New Year on the porch with noisemakers, confetti and champagne.  (I was not impressed by the champagne, to say the least.  In fact, I thought it tasted vaguely of vomit, if you're interested.)

Jenn, Caleb, Paul and I have decided to run a 10K in May.  I'm nervous.  I was running a lot during the summer but that has fallen by the wayside since school started and all that.  Paul and I went running yesterday, although I hate to call it running.  We ran a little and walked a lot.  It felt good to be moving, though.  I have a loooong way to go, literally and figuratively speaking.

That's really the only New Year's resolution I have -- to run the 10K.  I don't like making New Year's resolutions.  In my opinion, it's kind of like celebrating Valentine's Day.  Why do I need a special occasion to make changes in my life or turn over a new leaf or show someone I love them?  Shouldn't that be an ongoing thing?  If New Year's resolutions help someone do that, I won't begrudge them that.  More power to them.  But I generally don't want to do it.

I did resolve to correspond with my family better during 2009 and I did, sort of.  With the exception of losing some gift cards and sending birthday cards late as a result, I did keep up my correspondence much better than I did in 2008.  So making the resolution did help that.  Let's hope it helps the running effort.

So ... Happy New Year, all!

Real Conversations

Real Conversation # 1

Patient's Mother:  Um, yeah, my son had his finger poked for a blood test this morning while he was in your office and he's felt sick and thrown up twice since then.  Is that normal?

Me:  Well ... no, that's not normal.  Is your son very upset about having had his finger poked?

PM:  Yeah, he was pretty upset and crying a lot.

Me:  I'd guess that he's probably fixating on the finger poke.  Or maybe it's purely coincidental and he is coming down with a stomach virus.

PM:  Oh.  So what do I do?



Real Conversation # 2

Concerned Grandmother:  If someone plays with an infant, say 7 or 8 months old, by dangling them by their ankles, can it cause brain damage?

Me:  I suppose it could.  I definitely wouldn't recommend doing that.

CG:  What could happen?

Me:  Well, there could be brain damage.  Or maybe stress fractures in the baby's legs or spine.  The spinal cord in infants isn't developed enough to handle lots of stress like that.

CG:  So how would you know if there was damage?

Me:  You might not know.  It would take x-rays to show fractures.  And if there was brain damage you wouldn't know until it's too late.

CG:  So what should I say to the people who might be doing this?

Me:  Uh, tell them not to do it?

So Happy

It's Christmas.  Paul is here.  The tree is beautiful.  There is music.  We had hot and sweet chicken wings last night.  We also had wassail.  Yum.  That's what Christmas tastes like -- wassail.  We watched Christmas movies and laughed a lot.  We're going to exchange gifts in a little bit.

Right now I am making French Silk pie with a new pie crust that I'm really excited about.  We're going to Jenn and Caleb's in a couple of hours and we'll have appetizers that I made/am making and Christmas dinner that they're roasting, cooking and baking.   Jonathan and Lance will be there, too.  And then some friends will join us for the evening.

It's a good day.  Happy Christmas, everyone!

Enjoy the View

This is what I see every time I go into or out of work.  Isn't it lovely?

I Just Love It ...

... when a crappy day turns into a good day.  Good people tend to have that effect.  I like having good people around.  Good people make me smile more than is normal.  And, for me, that is saying something.

A-S-S-U-M-E

Remember my post about bumper stickers last year?  I made some assumptions about people that may or may not have been correct.  Well, I saw a vehicle the other day and made another assumption, one that I'm sure is correct.  I wish I'd been able to take a photo because this would have been one fantastic photo.  Unfortunately, the driver was there and I didn't want to draw attention to myself so I'll just have to use my words.

It was a large pick up truck -- the kind that makes one wonder whether the owner might be trying to compensate for something.  *ahem*  The license plate read 'GITRDUN'  and these were attached to the trailer hitch.  (Be sure to scroll down to get the full effect.)

Yeah. I couldn't make this up if I tried.  Well, actually I could; I have a pretty vivid imagination.  But that's beside the point.  The point is that this guy thinks a certain way about life and wants everyone to know it.  Or wants everyone to think he thinks a certain way about life.

You know that saying about assuming making an ass of you and an ass of me?  When it comes to my assumption about this driver, he's the only one that's an ass.  I'm certain of that.

Girls' Night on the Town

Jenn and I went out with our group of girlfriends on Saturday evening.  We had a fantastic time.  We laughed, talked, ate, drank and basically enjoyed downtown Denver.

We had dinner at Tamayo.  That is a delicious place.  I had sopa de tortilla garnished with avocado, cilantro and tortilla strips with just the perfect hint of spice.  It was fabulous.  Then I had quesadillas surtidas made with queso oaxaca, roasted poblano chiles, tomatillo salsa and garnished with crema fresca.  I thought I had died and gone to heaven or some other equivalent.  And the wine ... oh, the wine.  It was a Spanish Tempranillo that was just divine.  Divine wine.  Some photos for your drooling pleasure:

 Sorry, it was so yummy that I had several bites before I thought to take a picture.

Jennifer had grilled mahi mahi with huitlacoche sauce and potato-poblano puree.  I have to go back sometime and order that fish.  I had a couple of bites and it was amazing.  The sauce had so many different flavors -- slightly spicy, tangy, sweet and peppery all at once.  Oh man, my mouth is watering.

After dinner we walked a few blocks to the theatre district and saw Girls Only.  What an entertaining show!  It was part play, part variety show and part improv with a little home video and some puppets thrown in.  It was all about girl stuff, from childhood diaries to bras to pantyhose to tampons to purses to hormones.  It was in a small theatre and the actresses did a lot of interacting with the audience.  We laughed so much!  (And there was more wine, although not as good as the Tempranillo.)

I think our next Girls' Night will be a game night or something resembling a game night.  Our last game night evolved into a laughing, talking night.  Do you see a theme here?

Just to be Clear ...

They aren't sulfur drugs.  They're sulfa drugs.  Totally different things.  Just sayin' ...

It's Christmas!

The tree.  So pretty!

My favorite ornament, given to me by a friend and co-worker in Texas 2 years ago.

 

Our miniature stockings.  I don't remember which stocking belongs to which person.  Oops.

My favorite Christmas candle holder.  It fits a tea light and Santa's eyes light up.  It doesn't photograph well in the dark, though.  Bummer.

My Best Idea Yet

I decided recently to allow the kids to earn extra computer time by doing chores.  For each minute of work, they get a minute of computer time.  Also, they can have computer time taken away in 5 minute increments for certain infractions -- this is more effective than time outs now that they are older.  And I've been rewarding cooperation with 5 extra minutes of computer time here and there. So far it's working out excellently.

Until now, I've had to beg, plead and bargain to get them to do simple things like clean their sink, dust, unload the dishwasher, put away clothes and vacuum.  And forget more distasteful things like cleaning the toilet, folding clothes and helping empty the trash -- those required direct supervision and included lots of whining.

But with this new system, they're practically begging to do housework.  And! -- they actually appreciate the effort it takes to do these things.  The other night, Solomon cleaned their sink and then realized he needed to brush his teeth and spit.  He decided to spit in the kitchen sink (I know, I know.  Baby steps!) rather than undo his work.  I pointed out that he could spit and rinse so he'll be doing that in the future.  But he recognized that it was work.  Miriam has, too.  She vacuumed the dining room on Friday afternoon.  That evening she admonished her brothers to eat carefully and not spill crumbs every where.

I can't believe I didn't do this before.

Suh-weet!

I wanted to check out podcasts of A Prairie Home Companion on iTunes and download them to have some cool stuff to listen to.  I was prepared to pay for them but when I looked them up I saw that The News from Lake Wobegone is free!  Free!  Can you believe it?

The iTunes store also suggested The Onion News, Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me and This American Life.  And they're all free, too!  I'm such an NPR dork.

Recent Smiles

This letter from Lance. He wrote it in August and hand-delivered it last week. It gave me several hearty chuckles and I've smiled many times, just thinking about it since then. Lance is beyond smart and possesses a sense of humor unrivaled by most people I know.  Also, Lance and I are a lot a like.  I like old-fashioned letters and Lance does, too.  In this letter he talks about some things that I've given a lot of thought to myself in recent months.  It was neat to know we were thinking about the same things at the same time.

This is the sleeve from my Election Day Starbucks last November. I stuck on my 'I Voted' sticker that night because they just seemed to belong together. It has been on my desk since then and I smile every time I see it.

This is a bulletin from my church in Texas.  It would be an understatement to say that I feel bittersweet looking at it.  I miss everyone and everything there so much; the energy, the atmosphere, the discussions, the plans.  It's unlike anything I've experienced any where else.  I'm happy and sad when I think about it.

My new wine cork collection.  That one on the top -- The Prisoner -- was especially good.  I like examining these corks.  Some have intricate artwork.  I like those the best. One might wonder why anyone would care what is on a wine bottle cork.  I don't.  I had the pleasure of meeting a few wine makers this summer.  They're interesting people and maybe a tiny bit insane.  Anyone who spends that much time with grapes has to be.  But they love those grapes.  They know them from start to finish. They create wines with those grapes and put immense effort into them.  It's understandable that the cork should reflect that effort and attention.

This little lady.  I don't even remember where I got her but I like her.  She sits on top of my jewelry box and most of the time I don't think about her.  But when I do, I smile and feel a bit better about life.

This is Samuel's latest artwork.  It's a Wild Thing.  My kids go to an incredible school.  The teachers really do give it their all.  The art teacher is teaching my kids about Klimt, O'Keefe, Van Gogh and who knows what else.  She incorporates all types of media into her lessons.  The kids have come home with ceramic projects that they saw through from a mound of wet clay to the kiln.  They know what pastels, watercolors and charcoal are -- all because of this teacher.  She fosters creativity and inspires originality.  I love her and I've barely met her. She and the artwork my children make with her make me smile.

So that's what I'm smiling about lately.  How about you?

The Fridge is too Cold

You know how I can tell? This egg is frozen. No kidding.

So ...

It's been a while.  I keep thinking of stuff I want to write here and then running out of time to write it.  When I do have the time to write, the stuff isn't as pressing and I decide not to do it.  Lame, huh?

We had Thanksgiving.  I didn't go to Arkansas.  I was kind of worried that it wouldn't feel like Thanksgiving without 40 people and 2 turkeys and 17 side dishes.  But we made do.  I had Paul and his son over.  Jonathan and Lance were here.  We also invited Paul's friend and her son because all their family is in Ohio and they couldn't travel there.  We had a really great day.  I made the turkey and it was fabulously delicious, if I do say so myself.

I drove to get the kids (again) last Sunday.  We saw a whole fleet of trucks from Midland.  It was cool.  The kids got all excited and I was a little nostalgic.  On that same trip, I saw two vehicles with license plate frames from car dealerships in Midland, too.

The Christmas tree is up.  We assembled it and strung the lights last night while watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas and Shrek the Halls on television.  We added ornaments this evening. 'Tis the season for hot chocolate, snow and debating Christmas/religion with Solomon.  Oh, boy.

Our office Christmas party is this Saturday evening.  I'm really looking forward to it.  It's just my second one but the last year was lots of fun and this year Paul is going with me.

Next weekend Jennifer and I are going out to dinner with girlfriends and to see a play.  We're excited.  The group of friends we're going with is so much fun.  They're witty, intelligent women and we all get along really well.

The weekend after that, I'll keep Jennifer and Caleb's boys while they go to Caleb's company party.  That will be fun.  I'm thinking that if it's not too cold, we might make up some hot chocolate and go walking around their neighborhood to look at Christmas lights.  I was just there tonight and there are lots of lights up already.

The day after that, I'll take the kids to meet Moises and they'll be gone for another 2 weeks.  I'll have Christmas here with Paul and Jennifer and Caleb and other assorted cool people.  And there'll be New Year's Eve and it will be 2010.  Man, time is flying!

So those are the plans for the rest of the month.  I'm looking forward to it all.  It's what the holidays should be: time with family and friends, food, fun and anticipation of the coming year.

Listen To This

Now.  Doesn't that make you want to go out and right all the wrongs in the world?

Neighbors

So you know how I used to complain about Bigfoot upstairs and the punks downstairs that were always slamming doors and smoking and letting their dog howl without ceasing?  Well, I got lucky and both sets of neighbors moved out at the same time in September.  I had a glorious few weeks of peace and quiet.  It was all I'd dreamt it could be.

In October I got new neighbors both upstairs and downstairs.  The downstairs neighbors ticked me off right away by taking up two parking spots with their big, stupid SUV.  Fortunately, they straightened up quickly and kept me from having to point out the error of their ways.  They do smoke outside a lot but in the winter it's not a big deal.  (And sometimes, if I'm in just the right mood, I don't mind smelling cigarette smoke out on my patio.  I can deal.)

The upstairs neighbors are another issue entirely.  At first I thought it was another particularly exuberant Bigfoot.  But then it became obvious that Bigfoot II has a partner and dogs and they like to play croquet or badminton or some other lawn game in their living room at 9:00 PM.  The only thing that kept me from complaining to them or to the management was that they usually quieted down by 10:00 PM.  A couple of times I awoke to hear stomping or thumping in the middle of the night but it didn't keep me up long.

Until last night.  Last night was scary.  There was slamming of doors, crashing of large items, shouting, cursing, screaming.  It was awful in a gut-wrenching, horrifying, sickening way.  I called the police.  The police didn't get any where, but not for lack of trying.  They knocked on the door, pounded on the door, yelled through the door, tried to get someone to open the door for nearly two hours.  The scary person or persons upstairs never opened the door.

I have a bad feeling.  It's a sad, scary feeling.  I'm not comfortable in my own home because of the nastiness upstairs.  I don't want to be here.  It was better when they were just annoying, inconsiderate idiots.  But now I know that someone is being hurt up there and it's terrifying.

February can't come soon enough.

Good News

My last post may have led you to believe that my life sucks, but it doesn't.  At least, not for the most part.  There are good things that have happened in the last month.

The weather has been phenomenal.  We had a fantastic snow storm.  And then it warmed up, the snow melted and we went about in short sleeved t-shirts with the air conditioning on full blast.  In case I haven't mentioned it lately, this is one of the reasons I love Colorado.

The kids had fall break and therefore, so did I.  They left for a couple of weeks and I got caught up on laundry, grocery shopping, house cleaning and all sorts of other fun stuff.

Another of my family moved to the area.  Yay!  Denver is getting better all the time.

Paul and I enjoy spending time together.  A few weeks ago he had surgery, came through it pretty well, and is recovering now.  Things are mostly back to normal.

The kids went to their first school skating party.  It was my own special little hell, but they really loved it.  I'm trying to figure out how to help them have more fun next time and how to get me out of it.

I met with all the kids' teachers this week to go over their progress during the first trimester.  It was all good news.  All three teachers said that my children are a bright spot in their classrooms.  All three kids are working hard, learning well and behaving themselves.

I am looking at some where else to live.  My lease will be up in February and we need 3 bedrooms.  This is a stressful, daunting, frustrating task.  I don't like moving, but it is kind of exciting.

Paul and I have seen some excellent movies.  Inglourious Basterds was fantastic.  Of course, it's by Quentin Tarantino so do with that information what you will.  The Invention of Lying was highly entertaining, but I warn you that not everyone would agree.  Think: questioning the existence of God and How Things Came to Be.  Most recently we saw The Men Who Stare at Goats.  If you have a problem with George Clooney, Jeff Bridges, Kevin Spacey and Ewan McGregor making you laugh your hiney off, you probably shouldn't see it.

So that's how things are here.  We are trudging along to the end of the year, the end of the school year and we are another year closer to the Empty Nest.

Why I Will be Happy for the Kids to Grow Up

Disclaimer:  This is a Debbie Downer post.  I'm fully aware of that.  I'm not usually in this state of mind and you know it.  But this has been a difficult couple of weeks and I need to vent.  Thank you.

When the kids grow up there will be no more:

• mysterious stomach symptoms, followed by puking
• obsessive-compulsive throat clearing
• remembering who gets the first computer turn today, who gets to sit where, who gets the 'special' fork or who gets any one of the numerous things they argue about
• invasion of my bed at 6 AM with tossing and turning, flicking at my ears, asking for food, wiggling incessantly and finally running frantically to the bathroom to pee
• peed beds
• homework wrangling
• coordinating of visits with the ex-husband
• coordinating of anything with the ex-husband
  
• deciding where to live based mostly on where they will go to school
• book fairs, skating parties, volunteering at school or scheduling parent/teacher conferences
• backseat fighting
• "Move!", or "Don't do that!", or "Stoooooop iiiiit!"
• crying over computer games that are too difficult or too violent or too everything
• being afraid of the dark or monsters or spiders
• disgusting yellow stains on and around the toilet or stale urine smell in the bathroom
• discussions of why I think drinking alcoholic beverages is okay and the ex-husband does not

Subarus are Freakin' Awesome

 I warmed up the car this morning for about 7 minutes, scraped off some of the snow and then went back inside for my coffee.  When I came back out all the snow was melted off all the windows.  Plus it has seat warmers, sideview mirror defrosters and a heated windshield to keep the wipers from freezing.  Amazing.  I love it.

The all-wheel drive isn't too shabby, either.  I scoff at snow.

Annoying Things in Waiting Rooms

• Loud conversations about personal medical conditions -- I know it's important to you, but I don't want to hear about your uncle's prostatectomy.
  
• Cell phones that ring loudly while the owner stares at it, deciding if they want to answer while the rest of us grit our teeth against the shrill circus music.
• Abandoned coffee cups, used tissues and other assorted trash -- how hard is it to pick up after yourself?
• Soap operas and talk shows (i.e. Maury Povich, Steve Wilkos, etc.) on the televisions.
• Couples having passive aggressive fights at the next table.
• Everyone complaining that "It's gotten so cold outside!  I can't believe it!"  Um, this is Colorado in October.  What else do you expect?

P.S.  I am very grateful for my iPod and laptop because they make waiting so much more bearable.  And it's much easier to ignore annoyances with music in my ears.

Tomorrow!!

Chill-Inducing

Home

I have struggled for 4 years, wondering where Home was. I got divorced and suddenly my home was not where it should have been or what I thought it was.  Broken marriage vows will do that to a person.  I had to recreate a home.  And then some of the people I considered part of my home moved away.  I still had bits and pieces of my reconstructed home but not enough to make it feel whole.

I moved to Colorado, thinking I might find Home here.  But that was tough because everything was new.  I had to enroll my kids in a school district where I didn't know anyone (this was huge -- in Midland I knew everyone or at least someone who knew someone, you know?), make new friends, acclimate myself to the culture, find a new grocery store, etc.  That's a difficult chore.  It left me feeling that not only hadn't I found my home, but maybe I'd also destroyed the little bit of home I had in Texas.

I didn't think I'd find home in Arkansas.  I did a huge amount of growing up there and I know lots of people there.  My parents are there.  I love them dearly, but I don't feel like I fit in Arkansas.  In fact, I'm certain that I don't fit in Arkansas.  As much as my parents contribute to my home, Arkansas isn't Home.

I wondered if New Mexico might be Home. But following the ex-husband would not help me rebuild Home.  It just wouldn't.  You can imagine why.

In the 20 months since I arrived in this beautiful place, I've come to a conclusion:  Home is not about location.  The real estate business has it all wrong.  Home is about peace.  Home is feeling like you fit.  Home is taking bits and pieces of your life and fitting them together to make something meaningful, no matter where you are.  Home is the feeling you have when you wake up and when you go to sleep.  Home is about memories from the past and plans for the future and living in this moment, all at once.

I think I've finally found Home.  It's great to be here.

One of the Funniest Videos Ever

Things That Are Making Me Happy

• this caramel macchiato
• October
• clean floors
• no work today
  
• our lunch date today
  
• it's the weekend
• this song and the person I think about when I hear it
• Jim and Pam's wedding in 6 days
  

Irony

I was waiting in a long line of cars to make a right turn this morning.  The driver in front of me began to get impatient as we waited for traffic to clear so she tried to nose out to the right of us and go around the cars in front of her.  There appears to be room to do that at this particular intersection but there really isn't because that space isn't actually a lane and it gets cut down to nothing at the corner.  The driver noticed this after she'd maneuvered her car half way into this space and then she just sat there, stuck.  I chuckled to myself because I love to see people with a sense of entitlement cut down to size.

Then I noticed her bumper sticker.  It read, Women Make Great Leaders ... You're Following One Now.  And then I laughed out loud.

Things That Are Annoying Me

• This little spot on my upper lip that is chapped. My lips aren't chapped -- just this one spot. And no amount of Burt's Bees or Chicken Poop is helping.
• The tire pressure gauge keeps lighting up on my new car. I've been in twice for them to fix it but they're only 'fixing' it.
• Sponge Bob.
• Bickering kids.
• I'm itchy for no apparent reason.
• The tile floors need sweeping and mopping and I don't want to do it.
• I can't find someone to work for me on October 5. Every last prn nurse we have is busy. And we have more of them than we've ever had since I started there.
• The boys can't seem to lie on the floor without putting their feet all over the furniture around them, no matter how many times I remind them, make them sit up, make them sit on their feet, etc.
  

I Knew This Day Was Coming

But I didn't know it would come so soon. My three children can shower alone. All of them. Even the 6-year-old. Even the 8-year-old with hair-down-to-there can wash, rinse, condition and rinse again. Alone. It's a beautiful thing.

Too Comforting?

Miriam came to me in the kitchen tonight, pouting. When I asked her what was wrong she said that she doesn't want to go to school tomorrow.

I thought she was worried about something at school or feeling worse or something. I finally got her to admit that there are no problems at school; she just wanted another day at home with me.

Evidently, we've had too much fun together. I have to admit that it has been kind of nice. We've watched cartoons together, shared hot chocolate and cuddled on the sofa quite a lot. I confessed that I'd really like to stay home with her again too, but that we both need to get back to school and work.

So to celebrate that we're better now, we decided to bake brownies together. Brownies make everything better.

My Kids Have Been Indoctrinated

And that's meant tongue-in-cheek, of course.

I got a message from the school district last week concerning the speech to be given by President Obama this week to students. It stated that teachers in the district had the option of showing the speech in class but that some may not be able to due to scheduling conflicts, etc. As you probably would guess, I had no problem with the kids listening to this speech, no matter what political pundits across the board might say.

As it turns out, neither of the boys' teachers showed the speech and Miriam was at home with me, coughing and sleeping. So we watched the speech at CNN.com tonight. I paused it occasionally to talk to the kids about the points being made. They were really impressed but I wondered how much they really absorbed.

It didn't take long to see what an impact the talk made on Solomon. He immediately went to my desk and wrote out the following statement for himself. He says he's going to keep it forever and read it on his first day of college.

I am promising my country ...
I will work harder in school.
I will make many goals and try to reach them.
I will behave more.
I will be a better leader.
I will focus more in school and I will keep this letter
and read this paper when I need help.

I am so proud. And that is not meant to be tongue-in-cheek.

H1N1: We Haz It

I had a bad, bad feeling on Saturday that I was coming down with the flu. It just felt like it. I tested myself at the office and it was negative. That, coupled with the fact that I didn't have a fever, led me to believe I didn't actually have a strain of flu.

But then Miriam started complaining of a headache and had a fever last night. Because I still felt flu-ish and because the kids are supposed to spend this weekend in Albuquerque and because I can't miss more work, I took Miriam in for a flu test this morning. It was positive, flu A, which is what H1N1 is.

We have prescriptions for Tamiflu now. Well, the kids do; I don't because it's been too long for Tamiflu to benefit me now. And I'm feeling much better anyway. I hope the prophylactic dose really helps the boys and we avoid any more of this mess.

I have to say I'm really glad to know that the hype over H1N1 is really more hype than anything else. I haven't felt nearly as ill as I did when we got whatever other strain of flu we had in January 2008. I really think that people like us who are relatively healthy over all, shouldn't worry too much about H1N1. Truly.

I feel really bad about exposing people this weekend, though. We spent quite a bit of time with Jenn, Caleb and the boys and also with My New Friend and his son. I know this just happens sometimes, but it doesn't stop me from feeling bad about it. My apologies to you all.

I Want a Real Mommy!

"I want a real mommy that gives me whatever I want! Not a fake mommy like you that won't give me anything!"

-- Samuel, at bedtime when he claimed to be hungry and I sent him to bed, knowing full well that he was only stalling

Babysitting

Well, these aren't babies, so I guess it's kidsitting. I'm so happy it's not babysitting. I like babies, but I don't want to be wholly responsible for babies any more.

Kidsitting is so easy. These kids feed themselves. They play together. They go to the bathroom alone. (Well, most of them. Samuel wants company to ward off monsters.) They wash their own hands and brush their own teeth. I'll spread out sleeping bags in another hour and tell them to lie down and watch a movie. With any luck, they'll be asleep before the movie is over.

All I've done is put food on their plates, encourage the partaking of vegetables and remind them to take their dishes to the sink. I'm sitting here writing this, playing on Facebook and watching "Meet the Parents." Babysitting would never be this easy.

Yuck

Something one doesn't want to see near the hot tub: litter in the form of a torn condom wrapper.

Something one doesn't want to explain to one's children: why this particular piece of litter means we won't be using the hot tub.

Samuel's Teacher

I was very pleased to find out that Samuel was assigned to the same first grade teacher Miriam had when we moved here. He's an excellent teacher and really seems to love his job. Here's an example:

Earlier this week the teacher called me to discuss Samuel's behavior. (Yes, already! Yikes.) Apparently Samuel was investigating an inappropriate hand gesture. According to the teacher, he wasn't acting maliciously and didn't gesture at anyone in particular. It was purely curiosity. So they had a talk about how it's not okay to do that and that was it.

We also discussed Samuel's inattention and how it's very difficult for him to complete his work. I explained that Samuel hasn't taken any Focalin all summer and that I really want to see how the school year starts before putting him back on it. Also, the transition onto the medication is a little difficult and I don't want to pile that on top of the transition to being here after being in Albuquerque and starting school after being on summer break. His teacher is very understanding and willing to work with us on this.

Very nice, huh? Well, listen to this.

Today I missed a call from the school. When I checked the voicemail I was disappointed to hear Samuel's teacher saying, "Hello, this is Mr. X." I was afraid it was something bad. But it wasn't. He was calling to say how proud he is of Samuel and that he thought I should know. He said Samuel worked really hard today, finished most of his work and followed the classroom instructions. Yay!

I got the message right before I left to pick up the kids. It was a great way to start the afternoon. Samuel's teacher even made a point of finding me in front of the school to reiterate how great Samuel did today. Pretty fantastic, huh?

The #1 Thing I Don't Understand

McCain/Palin bumper stickers with the McCain half cut off. I've seen them quite a lot around here. I just don't get it.

When John McCain was just John McCain, I considered voting for him. John McCain as a political candidate, on his own, was not so bad. By the time he chose his running mate, I was already a staunch Obama supporter and very proud of it. McCain made a terrible mistake in choosing Sarah Palin and I'm glad I didn't have to switch candidates because of it. Also, I was really irked that McCain's people expected women voters to back him just because he chose a woman VP. It's extremely insulting to think that women would support a candidate just because ovaries are involved. But most of that is neither here nor there.

Sarah Palin. Man, that woman irritates me more than anyone I don't personally know has a right to. She's not smart. She's a scary, bigoted, fear-mongering sorry excuse for a politician. And she's a quitter. I do not understand placing so much faith in her. It's like she's seen as the hope of the Republican party; people really want to vote for her in 2012. She has her own grassroots campaign going already amongst these people who cut John McCain off his own bumper sticker.

If anyone has any insight, I'd really love to hear it.

That's Why They Do It!

The other night I was mixing a drink with rum and fruit juice. Miriam said, "You just made wine, didn't you?" I said no, it wasn't wine, it was rum and it's also a drink that children shouldn't have. She sniffed it, proclaimed it 'gross' and then asked, "Why do they even make that stuff?" Before I could put together an answer, Solomon jumped in with, "It's so adults can have drinks that they don't have to share with their kids."

First Day of School

So the kids started school again today. I met their teachers last week and called the kids in Albuquerque to tell them about their classrooms.

When I picked them up yesterday they were really excited about going back to school. Even with all the excitement, I expected a little nervousness. I expected to park and walk them to their classroom lines, introduce them to their teachers and hug them tightly before heading off to work.

We pulled into the school parking lot this morning and the kids squealed and bounced up and down in their seats. I asked if they wanted me to walk up with them, hoping they'd say yes. But they didn't. Not a single one. I said to Samuel, "It's the first day of first grade -- are you sure you don't want me to go with you?" Nope. He took off, his stuffed backpack almost toppling him over.

And then I sat at the curb for a few minutes, half bursting with pride that they are so independent and confident and half sad that they don't seem to need me as much as I think they do.

The Kids are Back

It's only been 6 hours since I picked them up and I'm exhausted. I had forgotten how difficult this job is.

Old People's TV

You know you're watching an old people's television show when every other commercial is for COPD medications, life insurance to cover your after death expenses or nail clippers with an attached magnifying glass.

For the record, I'm watching Matlock. Sshhh, don't tell anyone.

I Bought a Car

The Suburban served me well for almost 7 years. I blew out the transmission, busted the emergency brake, ruined the rear brakes, neglected the windshield and covered it in opinionated bumper stickers. I put 110,000 miles on it after it had already been driven 70,000. It's a wonder the poor truck didn't decide to trade me in for a new driver a long time ago.

Lately, the Suburban's radiator has started leaking at an alarming rate, the air conditioner went out and it needed a new set of tires. I couldn't justify pouring that much money into a 12 year old vehicle. Plus, even if the truck was in top condition, it's not all-wheel drive, which I desperately need for the winter coming up. Off to the Subaru dealership I went.

I test drove the Forester and the Outback. I realized immediately that I liked the Outback far better; it feels like a car and I'm tired of driving an SUV. I considered taking advantage of the 'Cash for Clunkers' deal. I could have received $4500 toward the purchase of a new Subaru but even with that credit, I'd end up with a larger loan than I'd like. So I decided to get a slightly older car with a smaller price tag and trade in the Suburban. I only got $1500 for the Suburban but my loan is more reasonable.

I briefly considered test-driving other makes of cars. I decided not to, though. I've been dreaming of Subarus for a year and a half. I like that the Subaru plant is environmentally friendly. I like that Subarus last forever, that they're one of the safest cars on the road and that they're fuel-efficient. There isn't another car maker that can claim all of those things. Why go some where else?

So on Monday night, I signed my name approximately 28 times, initialed another dozen items and drove away (finally!) at 10:45 pm with my 2008 Subaru Outback. I actually bought a car by myself and it's exactly what I want. I did it. I still can't believe it.

More Reasons to Love Colorado

The Dinner With a New Friend

It's going somewhere good. :)

I Have a Problem

I am an itunes-aholic. It's interfering with my life. I stayed up past midnight last night, searching for and buying more music. I couldn't stop. Every time I found a song or an artist, I was reminded of another great song or another amazing artist. And somehow I spent over $40.

The worst part? I know I don't have nearly all the music I want. Fortunately, I am limited to 1 G right now since all I have is an ipod shuffle. I can rationalize that I really don't need more music since it won't fit. What will I do, though, when I get the iphone? That date is quickly arriving. (Yippee!) That sucker has 8 G! (Yippee!)

What will I do with myself?

Observations Made Between DIA and ABQ

• Airplane seat belts have extenders for people who don't fit in them otherwise.
• I like flying; I don't like flying in a hot metal tube with people who need to shower.
• It really galls me to pay $15 for my one suitcase, both ways. If those $30 were just added to my ticket price, I'd probably be okay with it.
• One should not bring a tuna fish sandwich on board to eat during a flight.
• There is television on planes now. The most fascinating channel is the one that shows this thing called Live Map. It updates every minute or so with the speed, altitude and progress of the plane toward its destination. I watched our trip from Denver to Castle Rock to Colorado Springs to Pueblo to the border to Santa Fe to Albuquerque. Our top speed was 574 mph and our highest altitude was 34,054 feet, but not at the same time.
  

Open Letters

Dear Apartment Manager:

I understand that you cannot control everything that happens in and around this complex. However, neither can I and it's not my job. It is unfair to me, a responsible resident, to keep locking up the fitness center and pool due to the irresponsibility of a few residents. Find a way to keep these facilities open on a regular basis or you can pay for a bike, gym membership and a pool membership for my family. Furthermore, when my lease is up in February, this may be the determining factor in whether I sign another one here or look elsewhere.

Sincerely Yours,
Disgruntled Resident


Dear Irresponsible Residents:

You suck. It's pathetic that you can't or won't or don't control your children. Letting them throw pool furniture into the pool is unacceptable. Letting them throw rocks into the pool is unacceptable. And to whomever continues breaking into the business center and messing with the computers -- I've got an extra special dose of 'You Suck' right here, just for you. It's big and hairy and gangrenous. Enjoy.

This is ridiculous. It's enough to make a rational, peaceful-minded person like myself begin wishing destruction upon you all. And that's saying something. I'm going to strongly recommend that your rents be raised accordingly to pay for the bike, gym membership and pool membership that my family requires since you and your disgusting hellions can't act like respectable members of society.

Also, if I personally see one of your disgusting hellions intentionally destroying complex property, I'm going to drag them by their ridiculous hair and nasty pants to your front door and drop them there so you can answer for yourself. And then I'm writing you a referral for Super Nanny. Idiots.

Sincerely,
Angry Neighbor

A Blank Screen & What's Happening

I'm sitting here on the sofa with my laptop. I'm listening to Norah Jones and just finished an iced coffee. The ceiling fan is on and I turned on the air conditioner as soon as I woke up.

My plans for the day include working out to Britney Spears and Eminem. After that, I'll go swimming for a bit and then lie by the pool, reading. At some point I have to go to the store and buy butter, heavy whipping cream and a new pastry cutter. I sliced up strawberries and set them up with sugar in the refrigerator yesterday. I will make shortcake and real whipped cream this evening, hence the shopping trip.

We went to Idaho Springs yesterday and took a walk through its little downtown area. 'We' are Jennifer, Caleb, Jonathan, Charissa, Elizabeth, Christopher, Noah, Adam and myself. Also, Abby, the new, very cute, very sweet dog. We took photos of flowers, an old train, artistic signs and each others' silly faces. We had lunch at Beau Jo's Pizza. It is delicious food.

I had dinner last night with a new friend. It's the third dinner we've had together. We shall see where this goes. It seems to be going somewhere good.

I'm flying to Albuquerque on Friday. I have reserved a hotel room near Old Town. I'll have the kids with me from Friday afternoon to Sunday morning. I am planning for us to walk to Old Town and see what is appealing. We will swim and play and catch up on some snuggling.

I turn 30 this week. I've been thinking about it a lot, but in sort of a vague, distracted way. I have no philosophical tidbits to put down here about this milestone. I'm not dreading it, I'm not expecting a big revelation and I don't feel a sense of urgency to accomplish major goals. It's another birthday. It just is.

Now my screen is no longer blank and you know what's happening here. And I feel a little better, having written something.

Summer

My kids are gone. They'll be gone for a while. It's good and it's bad. I desperately needed some down time. The down side of down time is that I miss them.

The week before the kids left, I took off work and focused entirely on them. I went to Samuel's kindergarten graduation. It was very, very cute. We had a celebratory lunch on the last day of school. They rode their bikes, scooter and skateboards. We took advantage of free summer movies, went to the aquarium downtown, played in the pool and at the park. They slept over with their cousins, played with dry ice, courtesy of the Cool Uncle Levi. And then I packed them up and sent them off with their dad. It was a good send off.

I breathed deeply, cleaned the house thoroughly and sat down to watch television programming considered inappropriate for children. And now it's time to focus on myself.

So far, I'm keeping busy. There is kickball, there are dinners and drinks with friends. There is running and weightlifting. There is soaking in the hot tub at midnight with a glass of wine, the stars and no worries. There is a lot of reading, coffee and music. It's a good time.

Struggling

I want to come back here and write. I feel the need to write. But I have nothing to say. I never thought this would happen. Is this what it's like to have writer's block?

When I started back to school a couple of years ago, I enrolled in an essay writing class. I really enjoyed that class. I missed it when the semester ended. It's what inspired me start this blog, actually.

One of my first assignments in that class was to talk about my reasons for writing. The professor wanted us to discuss creative writing specifically. I wrote that I don't like creative writing. I don't want to write fiction, short stories or novels. I usually have too many other ideas floating around in my head to focus on things that aren't true.

But now I have nothing to talk about and I'm stuck.

Exhaustion and Neglect

I'm still alive, just overwhelmed. My house is a mess. A big one. I've had all I can handle just keeping up with all the kids' end-of-year activities, field trips, ceremonies and perks. It will be over soon, the kids will go away for a while and I will have time to re-charge. It can't come soon enough.