A Genuinely Nice Guy

Found this posted on my message board today. Enjoy.


To the woman that crapped in my car... (NE Portland)

We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.

I thought we had chemistry sitting at McMenamins sharing that basket of Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.

At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don't feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said "First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me." was meant to be funny, not offensive.

I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle's lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don't think anyone wins 100% of the time. That's why they call it "gambling". I'm the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better ... like when you're not sitting on a heated leather seat ...

What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.

I await your call,
Tad

P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early ... Touché ...

Six Degrees -- Or Fewer?

I like to scan through the Friend Finder on Facebook. It suggests friends for you based on mutual acquaintances. Sometimes I find new friends, sometimes I find people I don't necessarily want to reconnect with. And other times -- twice, in fact -- I find people that know people I know but the people I know do not know each other. Clear as mud? Let me explain.

In the first instance, Facebook suggested I befriend Joe (not his real name, don't remember his real name, not important) because Joe was friends with my brother and one of my friends -- a friend I have never met face to face, but in fact, know from a message board. My brother and my message board friend do not know each other. Furthermore, my brother lives in Arkansas and my message board friend lives in Washington DC and will likely never meet each other. Very odd.

The second instance was tonight. Facebook suggested I befriend John (not his real name, do remember his real name, still not important) because John is friends with my friend Abby and my friend Ellie. Abby and Ellie do not know each other. At least, I don't think they do. I know them from very different circles that haven't ever crossed to my knowledge. But they do both live in the Denver Metro area so I suppose they could know each other and I just don't know it.

Anyway, all of this points, yet again, to our surprisingly small world of 6,760,844,960 individuals.

No, I didn't pull 6,760,844,960 out my ear. I got it from here. BTW, that number jumped by 30 in less than a minute. Fascinating. How do they do that?

Free Rice

Over a year ago, I discovered the Free Rice Vocabulary Game. I e-mailed family and friends about it, told people at work about it and played it quite a bit. Then, as with most things, I forgot about it for a while.

On a whim, I clicked on my Free Rice bookmark tonight and went over to play. After a while, I noticed a link to Change Subjects so I clicked there and found whole new worlds of Free Rice games! They have added chemistry, math, grammar, art and foreign languages. It's a true nerd paradise!

This is exactly what I've been looking for. I can play games on the internet and I don't have to feel guilty about not doing anything for humanity or turning my brain to mush. I actually learned some stuff tonight and I earned over 10,000 grains of rice for hungry people. Woot!

My New Profile Photo

See that? It's pure awesomeness. No explanation necessary. Let us take a moment to bask in the glow of the awesomeness that is The Office. Amen.

I bought myself the complete Fourth Season of The Office for Christmas. I got it from a friend of an online friend, in unopened packaging, for about half of what it costs at Best Buy or Target. Paypal, message boards and the internets all coming together to bring me a gift I love. It's such a beautiful thing. It even comes with the script to one of the best episodes of that season. :geeks out:

The only problem is that my touch of OCD and procrastinating perfectionism is keeping me from watching any of it yet. My house is quickly nearing that previously alluded to state of chaos which means that I will spend the better part of today decluttering, organizing, sweeping, mopping and dusting until I am able to flop on my sofa and do nothing -- nothing but fully and truly appreciate all that Season Four has to offer.

So let it be written, so let it be done.

Thursday Thirteen: the Internet

I forgot. Oops. So I'm pretending today is Thursday.

Thirteen things I like about the internet:

1. I can find out anything I want to know. And even some things I didn't want to know.

2. I can (and do) talk with people all over the world.

3. Myspace and Facebook have let me catch up with old friends that I otherwise wouldn't know anything about now.

4. Blogging.

5. Online banking.

6. Google Maps.

7. Picture hosting, slide shows, photo editing.

8. Sites like Post Secret, Overheard in New York and I Can Haz Cheezburger that make me laugh until my stomach hurts.

9. Yellow Pages. They're so much easier than the real Yellow Pages.

10. Requesting library books in my pajamas.

11. My kids can play pretty cool games and watch videos of their favorite shows.

12. Online classes. I definitely prefer real classrooms to virtual ones, but without virtual ones I couldn't have gone back to school.

13. Office webisodes.