This Sick Season Is So Bad ...

:cue: "How bad is it?!"

This sick season is so bad that I have memorized the lot numbers on our packages of albuterol, Atrovent, Zofran and dexamethasone.

This sick season is so bad, our department is going through 2 tanks of oxygen per week.

This sick season is so bad, I've lost track of how many children we've transported to Children's Hospital.

This sick season is so bad, I'm developing a fear of ever touching my face for fear of contracting the newly discovered, yet horrible, strain of coronavirus or the eternally evil norovirus.

Too Comforting?

Miriam came to me in the kitchen tonight, pouting. When I asked her what was wrong she said that she doesn't want to go to school tomorrow.

I thought she was worried about something at school or feeling worse or something. I finally got her to admit that there are no problems at school; she just wanted another day at home with me.

Evidently, we've had too much fun together. I have to admit that it has been kind of nice. We've watched cartoons together, shared hot chocolate and cuddled on the sofa quite a lot. I confessed that I'd really like to stay home with her again too, but that we both need to get back to school and work.

So to celebrate that we're better now, we decided to bake brownies together. Brownies make everything better.

H1N1: We Haz It

I had a bad, bad feeling on Saturday that I was coming down with the flu. It just felt like it. I tested myself at the office and it was negative. That, coupled with the fact that I didn't have a fever, led me to believe I didn't actually have a strain of flu.

But then Miriam started complaining of a headache and had a fever last night. Because I still felt flu-ish and because the kids are supposed to spend this weekend in Albuquerque and because I can't miss more work, I took Miriam in for a flu test this morning. It was positive, flu A, which is what H1N1 is.

We have prescriptions for Tamiflu now. Well, the kids do; I don't because it's been too long for Tamiflu to benefit me now. And I'm feeling much better anyway. I hope the prophylactic dose really helps the boys and we avoid any more of this mess.

I have to say I'm really glad to know that the hype over H1N1 is really more hype than anything else. I haven't felt nearly as ill as I did when we got whatever other strain of flu we had in January 2008. I really think that people like us who are relatively healthy over all, shouldn't worry too much about H1N1. Truly.

I feel really bad about exposing people this weekend, though. We spent quite a bit of time with Jenn, Caleb and the boys and also with My New Friend and his son. I know this just happens sometimes, but it doesn't stop me from feeling bad about it. My apologies to you all.

It's Not a Stomach Virus

It's pure, unadulterated evil, that's what it is. Unfortunately, no one makes pills to cure that yet.

We went to the doctor last week because Solomon's puking still wouldn't stop. They did a strep test and urinalysis that were both negative. We sent off stool samples and tested for several things. All negative. He has a lot of symptoms of a lot of things, but they don't all add up to one thing or another. This is so frustrating.

We cut out dairy for the last week and he went to the school nurse with a stomachache today. He proceeded to vomit, a lot. I picked him and we spent the afternoon watching cartoons. He's fine now.

We're using Zofran to control the nausea and vomiting but that's not a feasible long-term solution. I don't know what we'll do now.

The Pukes, Pt. 2

One thing I forgot to discuss in the previous post -- stomach viruses this bad and this exhausting will also cause a person to re-evaluate the worst time periods of her life. Up to now, the worst weeks of my life consisted of the week I filed for The Divorce and the week we all had the flu. And I can say, without a doubt that the last month, especially the last 10 days, have trumped both of those.

Here's why: The Divorce sucked. For obvious reasons. But I could see how it would accomplish things in the long run. I knew I was becoming a stronger person and I knew I would be alright in the end. But this -- this serves no purpose. No one is benefiting from this. And maybe I just can't see it because I'm in the thick of it, but my peace of mind is shattered for a very long time. I will dread another stomach virus for as long as I can imagine right now.

This is worse than the flu, too. And here's why: with the flu, I could see signs of steady improvement after a point. Our fevers eventually went down, we stopped coughing every time we talked, our energy levels slowly increased and we stopped requiring Advil and Tylenol around the clock. But with this -- everything will seem fine for 12 hours, even 48 hours and then BAM! More puking. Also, with the flu, as long as we lay still with pillows and cool compresses and cough drops, we could enjoy talking, playing imagination games and watching tv. But with this, everything is a great big ball of awful horrendousness with no breaks and no end in sight.

So this is, officially, the worst week of my life.

The Pukes

You know what the pukes will do to a mother? One or two episodes will make her nervous, make her fear for the other children in the family and maybe a bit for herself. But she can generally deal with this, assuming it is short-lived and limited to one child.

But do you know what a month of on-and-off puking in three children will do to a mother? It will make her lose all hope of ever having a wholly healthy family again. That's what it will do, without a doubt.

It will cause her never to sleep peacefully. It will cause her to question every sideways look from her children, every too-quiet moment, every wince of discomfort and every slightly suspicious cough. She will be reduced to pestering said children with constant inquiries as to the state of their digestive tracts. She will launch into lengthy diatribes about the nominal differences among nausea, stomach rumbling, stabbing pains, dull aches, the need for a bowel movement and simple hunger pangs.

The mother dealing with a month of on-and-off puking will stock up on baking soda and white vinegar, a pallet at a time, terrified that she may be stuck at home with vomiting children and no means of sanitizing or deodorizing her home. Her pantry will forever be packed with 7-Up, Jell-o, Gatorade, chicken bouillon and saltines. She'll also never be short on the components of the infamous BRAT diet, plus carrots.

This mother will develop a sophisticated means of doing laundry, involving pre-soaking, soaking with the aforementioned baking soda and white vinegar, long, hot washing with detergent and twice rinsing. She will cease folding towels and wash cloths, opting instead to leave them placed strategically around the home. This enables her to grab one at a moment's notice, thereby catching vomit before it hits the carpet.

She will begin hanging trash bags off the doorknobs so that plastic garbage cans can also be placed thoughtfully throughout the home. If there are not sufficient garbage cans to assuage her anxiety, she will pull out massive plastic bowls to fill in the other spots. All vomit receptacles will be sprinkled liberally with her baking soda. This serves two purposes: odor absorption and splatter prevention.

This overwrought mother will even begin to question her sanity. As much as she dearly loves these puking children, she will have fleeting glimpses of a road not taken: a road without children, a road without children who puke for a month. She will begin to dream about the coming summer -- heretofore dreaded because the fruit of her womb is expected to spend the entirety 350 miles away -- with an anticipation she has never known until now.

This poor mother will develop stress headaches that no amount of Advil and caffeine can banish. She will move about as if in a dream, wanting to cry and not crying because her children already feel awful enough. They shouldn't see their mother cry like this. Also, crying is not known to do anything helpful for headaches or vomiting.

That's what The Pukes will do to a mother. In case you were wondering.

Why I Don't Like Today

• Miriam and Samuel started puking last night.
• Miriam and Samuel started having diarrhea this morning.
• I'm not feeling so hot.
• Solomon denies feeling sick but I'm just waiting for that shoe to drop.
• I'm somewhat hungry but limiting our diet today in light of our earlier gastrointestinal distress.
• I'm worried about whether the boys can go to school tomorrow and Miriam can keep her dental appointment.
• The weather was beautiful today -- 60F and sunny -- but we were too sick to go any where.
• We did go outside to play in the snow for a bit and Samuel puked.

Drama King

I can't help but laugh at Solomon several times per week. He is so dramatic about illness and injury that he becomes convinced he is knocking at death's door on a regular basis. He just came to me, gasping for breath, and wrote a note that says, "Samuel brok my ryb. He hit me with his nakel." When asked what a 'nakel' is, he croaked, "His knuckle." I laughed and he made a face of impotent fury.

Now he is lying on the sofa with an ice pack on his side and looking very sorry for himself. For the record, he provoked Samuel into wrestling and he doesn't even have a red mark on his skin.

Last night we had dinner at Chick-Fil-A and Solomon refused to eat anything from the fruit cups I had ordered. He was anxious to go play with his siblings and cousins but I told him he had to choose 5 pieces of fruit to eat first. He nibbled on half an apple chunk and claimed it had given him a headache.

Solomon once told me his appendix had just exploded. I told him that if that had happened, he'd have been lying on the floor writhing in agony. He let it drop then, but he called me at work the next day and said, "This time I'm sure my appendix exploded. I can feel it." I had him jump up and down and when I didn't hear screaming I felt pretty sure he was okay. It's a good thing I'm not as much a hypochondriac as he is, or we would be in the doctor's office every other day.

Texans, Take Heed

Our Tamiflu drug rep came to the office today. I eagerly await her visit every week because she brings us the latest stats on flu tracking across the country. I have a weird preoccupation with this. We've been pleasantly surprised not to have much flu activity in our office or across the country up to now. Or at least, we were.

In the Tamiflu rep's words: It Has Hit. She showed me a map of the United States with color-coded sections denoting High, Moderate and Low Flu Activity. High is red, Moderate is orange and Low is yellow.

Immediately, my eyes fell upon Colorado. Colorado is entirely red which means we are swimming in a deep sea of creepy-crawly flu bugs. Blech. I'm so glad we took care of inoculation weeks ago. This is the one time of year I will consent to the use of Lysol wipes in my home.

Next, I checked out Texas. My friends, you have it bad. A teeny sliver of the Gulf Coast is moderate, as is the very northernmost edge of the panhandle. The rest of you ... all I can say is, I hope you had your flu shot. Also, washing your hands needs to take up the better part of your day. It's not pretty.

Stay healthy, all!

Such a Boy

Solomon has been fighting croup for the last few days. I thought he was finally over it but the barking returned last night. So he skipped school this morning and we went back to the doctor for more steroids.

His appointment wasn't until 11:00 so we had some time to kill. We went to Starbucks for a latte for me and chamomile tea for him. I squeezed some honey into his tea and he started stirring it with a wooden stir stick. Because he's Solomon, the tea and honey couldn't just mix. They had to have a war. The two substances warred until finally the honey was overtaken by the tea.

Later, we went to the grocery store and Solomon commented that the slushy, half-frozen snow and ice that falls from cars looks like poop. He said all the cars on the road are pooping a lot today. I was quite grossed out but had to agree that it does look somewhat like poop. Judge for yourself:


This is such a contrast from what Miriam might suppose during the same errands. To her, tea and honey would be dancing together and becoming friends. She'd tiptoe around piles of muddy snow slush and try to keep her fluffy pink boots clean. I try to make things as equal as possible between the genders in our family; the boys do play with My Little Ponies and Miriam plays with Hot Wheels tracks. But some things just don't compute.

We Have Been Inoculated

I debated getting flu shots for the kids this year. I usually get one, being a nurse and being exposed to all manner of microorganisms. But the kids have never gotten them. They're not in a high risk category. And I sometimes wonder if we're over-inoculating ourselves these days. I'm a tad nervous of super germs being the demise of the human race.

But we got the flu last season and that was what finally tipped the scales for me. It was hell -- two weeks of hell. Apparently last year's flu prediction was off and people who got flu shots, myself included, only had about 25% protection. Ironically, I was the sickest in the family. Miriam was very close behind me. Samuel recovered pretty quickly. Solomon escaped altogether; one good thing about him spending 5 months in Albuquerque.

So, off we went to the office yesterday afternoon for flu vaccines. I bribed the kids with McDonald's Happy Meals. They reluctantly agreed. I wanted to tell them that there was a chance they could have nasal spray instead of a shot. I resisted, though because I knew the office might be out and it would be wrong to get their hopes up about it.

When we got there, I asked my co-worker if there was any FluMist left. When I left work on Thursday afternoon there were a few doses left but everyone wants FluMist so I wasn't sure they would still be there. Luckily, there were some doses remaining so each of my children could get one. I cannot tell you how relieved they were.

Solomon went first. Ever the one for drama, he made some outrageous faces and then shouted that it was all stuck in his throat. After a few sips of water he was fine. Miriam went next and we almost didn't get the second half into her. She wasn't very happy with the first half and I had to hold her still. Then I had to coach her not to blow it into a tissue. Samuel was a real trooper and handled it better than the other two. And everyone was thrilled that there were no needles!

I, however, prefer to have a needle plunged into my deltoid. I cannot tolerate things in or around my nose. And there is no way I will voluntarily suck a liquid into my nostrils. No way, no how. Give me a shot. And my friend did. And I'm a little sore today.

I am relieved that we are doing all we can to avoid the flu. I was more worried about contracting the flu again than I realized. Let's hope the protection works this year. Supposedly, the FluMist contains more strains of the flu virus and therefore offers better protection than the injectable FluZone. This is good, considering that the kids come into contact with tons of stuff at school all day, every day. I push hand washing every chance I get but who knows what actually happens at school, right?

When we were finished I wondered aloud (jokingly) to the kids if they should still get Happy Meals since they didn't actually have to get a shot. They looked a little perplexed before they realized I was only kidding.

P.S. Another good thing about the FluMist -- because all of my children are younger than 9 years and because this is their first year for flu vaccine, if they had been injected, they'd have to return in 4 weeks for yet another injection. So we're avoiding 2 injections for each and getting better protection. :crosses fingers:

Frick on a stick

I spoke too soon. Or maybe I didn't knock on wood or something. I am sick. Well and truly sick. There is so much stuff to do around here and I do not have the energy to do it. And I got a flu shot. This is not fair.

Besides the bodyache, headache, coughing and complete lack of energy, the worst symptom is being hungry and having no appetite whatsoever. I want to eat but nothing sounds good. Okay, I am going to pout on the couch.

Rambling About Nothing Much

As it turns out, I'm not as sick as I thought I was. Yay for flu shots! It is rather annoying, however to walk around for three days, feeling as if I need to sneeze all the time.

I like this packing up process. It's good to have the opportunity to go through all my stuff and throw out useless stuff. I love simplifying my life this way. I have made two trips to Goodwill this month. I've also taken numerous loads of stuff to the dumpster outside.

Pandora.com is one of the coolest sites I have come across. You can search for a music artist you really like and they'll offer other choices in a similar genre. From there, I can search for them on Project Playlist and create a playlist to fit my current mood.

I met an internet friend IRL yesterday. (IRL means "in real life" -- 'cause you know, the internet isn't actually real and has no bearing on my life.) It was very cool. She and I have known each other online for a few years now. It was sort of surreal to see this person that knows some very private stuff about me, in the flesh for the first time.

I think I need to drop BCIS. It's that computer class that I was told I have to have. Looking at the book and the syllabus has struck fear into my poor little heart. I need something a little less stressful right now.

And that brings us to the end of this episode of Rambling About Nothing Much. Stay tuned for the next installment which could well feature musings about the dust bunnies I am sure to encounter when I move my furniture out of this place.

Edited to say ... for some reason this post says it was on Friday, January 18. I actually posted it on Sunday, January 20. I'm not sure what's going on with that.

The Dreaded 'F' Word

I can feel it coming. My head aches in that dull way that I almost wouldn't notice unless I have to turn suddenly. My shoulders are tight, only I haven't done anything to make them that way. My nose isn't stuffy but it's definitely not normal. My hands feel cold when the rest of me feels just a tad too warm. I can feel that inner chill, almost like my muscles are too cold for my skin.

I'm off to suck down some Airborne and then snuggle up in bed. I hate the flu.