Why I Will be Happy for the Kids to Grow Up

Disclaimer:  This is a Debbie Downer post.  I'm fully aware of that.  I'm not usually in this state of mind and you know it.  But this has been a difficult couple of weeks and I need to vent.  Thank you.

When the kids grow up there will be no more:

• mysterious stomach symptoms, followed by puking
• obsessive-compulsive throat clearing
• remembering who gets the first computer turn today, who gets to sit where, who gets the 'special' fork or who gets any one of the numerous things they argue about
• invasion of my bed at 6 AM with tossing and turning, flicking at my ears, asking for food, wiggling incessantly and finally running frantically to the bathroom to pee
• peed beds
• homework wrangling
• coordinating of visits with the ex-husband
• coordinating of anything with the ex-husband
  
• deciding where to live based mostly on where they will go to school
• book fairs, skating parties, volunteering at school or scheduling parent/teacher conferences
• backseat fighting
• "Move!", or "Don't do that!", or "Stoooooop iiiiit!"
• crying over computer games that are too difficult or too violent or too everything
• being afraid of the dark or monsters or spiders
• disgusting yellow stains on and around the toilet or stale urine smell in the bathroom
• discussions of why I think drinking alcoholic beverages is okay and the ex-husband does not