The Kids are Back

It's only been 6 hours since I picked them up and I'm exhausted. I had forgotten how difficult this job is.

Exhaustion and Neglect

I'm still alive, just overwhelmed. My house is a mess. A big one. I've had all I can handle just keeping up with all the kids' end-of-year activities, field trips, ceremonies and perks. It will be over soon, the kids will go away for a while and I will have time to re-charge. It can't come soon enough.

Ho. Ly. Cow

What a day! I got to work at 7:45 and didn't sit down again until 11:45. Even then, it was just a short break between patients. I didn't eat lunch until 12:30. Every appointment slot was filled -- and not with simple issues.

There was a boy who cut his finger with a knife; no stitches needed but the doctor decided to order a Tdap since he hadn't had a tetanus shot since kindergarten. Then I realized that he was behind on 3 other injections and, of course, his mother wanted him to get all of them today.

We had two kids with bad infections who couldn't tolerate oral antibiotics so they had to have Rocephin injections. Rocephin is a pain in the neck. It comes in powder form and is reconstituted with Lidocaine. It is the consistency of maple syrup and, even with the Lidocaine, hurts a lot. It's not uncommon for patients to have large bruises the next day. Because of the large volume usually ordered, it's divided into two injections. We usually get two nurses to give both shots at the same time since it hurts so much. Afterward, the patient has to wait in the office for at least 10 minutes to be sure there isn't a bad reaction to it. And I did that twice.

I administered 3 nebulized breathing treatments, 2 of which were done with oxygen. I did 2 flu tests, an RSV test, and half a dozen strep tests.

In addition to all of that, we had 3 well care visits with their necessary immunizations, weight checks and developmental questionnaires. One stressed, exhausted new mother had forgotten to bring her baby's formula with her. The baby was hungry and the mom was near tears. Fortunately, we had bottles with ready to feed formula. A baby peed on a scale. Another baby pooped on an exam table. Three separate times, children with appointments also had ill siblings and we managed to squeeze them in, too.

I was dead on my feet by lunch time. I'm so glad the day is over.

Sigh

Trying to catch my breath here -- and catch up on my writing. I thought I might do that tonight. I am babysitting for Jennifer and Caleb and just vegging on the couch with my laptop. But I'm too tired.

I will be back. I have a lot to say; just not a lot of time or energy these days. Thanks for checking in, though.

What I Did Last Night

I work with someone who always asks me what I did 'last night.' She asks this in the same leisurely, half-interested way that people with no responsibilities ask each other what they Did Over the Weekend. If it were anyone else, it probably wouldn't bother me but she annoys me in lots of other ways so this is just one more straw.

(This same woman commented on my children being with their father for a month this summer and said, "Man, I wish I had had a set up like that when my kids were little." Really? You wish you didn't see your kids for a month and that during the school year, they missed their dad constantly? Really? You wish you had had that? She's also the same one that thinks everyone with state-funded insurance is lazy. She's a real gem.)

Plus, she's really out of touch with what it's actually like to have young children. She has 2 grown children and she seems to have forgotten what it's like to have them constantly needing something. For example, last week I walked into the office at 8:28, gulping down the rest of my lukewarm coffee from a travel mug with my first patient already in the waiting room. She breezed past me and said, "You have more time than I do in the mornings if you've already had your coffee." My jaw dropped. She had no clue that my morning started at 5:30 with a child's wet bed, a 5-minute shower and make up put on at red lights. I kind of wanted to kick her in the shin, just a little bit.

Later that day she stretched lazily and asked me, "So what did you do last night, besides go home and crash?" I was already ticked at her for the earlier comment about my morning and I didn't trust myself to answer nicely. So I didn't answer her. But if I had, I might have said something like this:

Well, I left here at 5:25 at a dead run to avoid paying $5 per minute per child for missing the 6:00 pm pick up deadline for the after care program. I barely made it there in time due to the horrendous traffic.

By the time we got home it was after 6 and all the kids had homework so I simultaneously signed homework folders, read homework instructions, cooked dinner, unloaded the dishwasher and moved more clean laundry to the ever-growing pile of clean laundry. We had dinner and finished most of the kids' homework.

Then I sent the eldest to the shower, bathed the middle child and put off the youngest's bath until this morning. I supervised the kids' teeth brushing, called their father so they could tell him about their day, picked up some toys, straightened beds, turned on night lights and music and finally turned out the light. I tucked in all 3 children and barely resisted the urge to pass out in their beds with them.

After that I cleaned up the dinner dishes, put away leftovers, swept the floor, reminded myself to take out the trash this morning, started another load of laundry and wiped up pee splatters around the toilets. I debated whether or not to watch television and decided to go to bed instead. And I forgot to brush my teeth.

Follow Up

So. I was right. Today was not fun, but not for the reasons I expected. The drive was fine -- at that hideous hour, even I-25 is practically empty. And the weather was fine. It took forever to defrost my windshield and scrape it but there was no ice on the streets.

No, today was completely unfun for a totally different reason. I was responsible for 18 patients in a geriatric facility. These 18 patients are all on at least a dozen medications, many of them are on more. Half of them required blood glucose monitoring and/or insulin injections, both at breakfast and at lunch. I dispensed and accounted for way too many narcotics.

I arrived at 6:15 and didn't leave until 3:45. I had no breaks, no lunch and went to the bathroom once. I stood, walked, climbed stairs, knelt and bent non-stop, for 9 1/2 hours.

I have homework to do tonight for my pharmacology class. I'm not doing it. I've counted mgs, meqs, gtts, units and mls for too long today already. I can't look at another drug or think about another drug until at least tomorrow.

Exhaustion

I am exhausted -- mentally, physically, emotionally and even financially. It's hard to remember that just a week ago I was so well-rested I couldn't fall asleep at night. So many things are going on right now, it's all I can do to remember to eat.

We are going to be audited at work next week. Federal auditors. Thick regulations handbooks. Complicated questions. Scrutinzing stares. To prepare for this, we've tortured ourselves since August. This week we have stepped it up about 14 notches. I can't take anymore. I wouldn't be surprised if my retaliatory instinct kicked in and I tossed a few handbooks at the auditor when he/she/it walks through my office door. I might be merciful and aim for the heart but I'll most likely aim for the kneecaps.

In between moments spent preparing for this audit I still have to see sick and injured kids and deal with Miss Hypochondriac. (Don't even get me started on Miss Hypochondriac. She induces unreasonable anger in me.) I empathize with the sick and injured children but they exhaust me. There is a never-ending list of complaints. "My tummy hurts." "I 'frowed' up." "Mommy forgot my medicine." I know I kind of asked for it, becoming a school nurse and all but seriously. I'm tired.

And then there is this emotional stuff. I am moving. While it's definitely something that I want to do and I know I will not regret it ... it's still unbelievably hard. This has been my home and my life for nearly 9 years. I am going to miss it. I've discovered that I can handle being thrillingly excited about something. And as much as it hurts, I can take being sad, too. But dealing with both emotions about the same thing is harder than dealing with either one alone.

The nice thing about working for this district is that we get paid early in December. It's nice to get that check before Christmas. But that means it's not a month until the next pay day: it's 6 weeks until the next pay day. That makes January a bit tight toward the middle. No extra trips to the video store, skip the morning frappuccino and take leftovers for lunch. Fun, fun, fun.

So, yeah. I am exhausted. I need to get this audit finished. I need to finish the moving plans. I need my paycheck. And I need a nice glass of reisling.