In a Blogging Mood

I'm in the mood to write.  My house is clean, the laundry is (mostly) done.  (There's a large basket that needs folding but I'm going to ignore that.) A really funny episode of The Office is on.  I lit approximately 17 candles around the house and they smell incredible.  I have a glass of decent merlot at my hand. There's a formerly happy chicken defrosting in my kitchen; it'll soon be roasted and made into chicken pot pie.  It's fall and I'm fortunate to have a comfortable, warm, well-stocked home.  For some reason I feel the need to describe all of this to you.

Also:

• Solomon lost a tooth today.  It's the first tooth he's lost in at least 2 years.  I know he hasn't lost one since we moved to Colorado.  I told him that he should check under his pillow tomorrow for the Tooth Fairy's prize.  He said, "Can you just give me the money now?  Like you're buying my tooth?"  So I did.  And I laughed heartily.
• I took Solomon to the doctor today because he's had increasingly worse heel pain in the last few days.  Instead of being something worrisome, it's just inflammation that happens sometimes in kids who are growing and healthy and active.  He should be fine in a couple of weeks.  I'm grateful for all of this.
• I'm taking the Spanish placement test tomorrow so I can register for not-Spanish I next week.
• I bought lots of bulk spices today for less than $1.00.  Total.  Not each.  Total.
• I saw my endo today for a post-op appointment.  Everything is good.  Assuming my thyroid panel is all normal I'll see her again in 6 months and if the thyroid panel then is all normal and if I never have any weird thyroid symptoms, I'll never see her again.  She's a nice person and all but this makes me happy.  She said I was her easiest patient all day.

And that's all for now.  I should probably have made some of these items separate blog posts but I didn't.  That's how I roll.  I reserve the right to elaborate upon any, all or none of these items in the future.  That's also how I roll.  (You know, until now I didn't know I 'rolled' at all.  That just came out of no where.  Apparently I roll that way, too.)

Surgery

Well I have a follicular neoplasm in my throat.  That means my thyroid contains atypical cells and no one is sure if they're malignant or not and they can't tell unless they take them out.  So I'm going to have the left side of my thyroid removed.  It's all scheduled, pre-authorized with the insurance company and I'm pre-registered with the hospital.  All I have to do now is fill out the living will and advance directive.  I'm not looking forward to that.

I know exactly what I want to be done with my body if the big "What If ..." happens but I don't like thinking about it.  Paul and I talked about it a lot when he had surgery last year.  I've talked about it with Jenn and Caleb and Lance, too.  I've talked about it a little with Mom and Dad.  I'm confident that everyone who matters will make sure that my wishes are honored if and when that time comes.  But putting it into writing is just different.  It's so final.  I guess that makes sense -- they're final wishes.  I know I can change it if I change my mind, but as of September 15 at 1:30 pm it's Final until I wake up.  I think that's the thing that has me on edge -- that this could be Final.  It's not likely to be, but it could be.

Wow, I'm morbid this morning.

I'll be glad to have this over with.  It's not like my thyroid has been a huge source of worry and pre-occupation for me but it will be nice not to have to think about it at all any more.  No more biopsies, no more ultrasounds, no more anything.  Just get it cut out and be done with it.

The surgeon is of the opinion that I can probably avoid thyroid replacement hormones.  I like that.  I don't want to mess with them, with mood swings or hair loss or temperature intolerance or weight gain.  The surgeon and the endo both think that since my left side is not normal at all the right side is compensating for it and can probably continue to do so.  Neither of them think we need to do anything with the right side -- it's perfectly thyroid-ish and not at all nodule-ish.  Yay for that, huh?

So there it is.  After 31 years of no surgeries, almost no scars and being hospitalized only for childbirths, I'm going to have A Thing.  A Surgery. A Story.

I Look Like I Was Bitten by a Vampire

And I feel like I got a Chuck Norris punch to the throat.  Ouch.

I went to the endocrinologist for a biopsy of my gargantuan thyroid today.  I'm not kidding about the gargantuan part, either.  It used to measure 4cm x 5cm and now measures 5cm x 7cm.  Or so I'm told. Whatever.  It's big.  Not like developing a second head big, but big nonetheless.  Big enough that medical type people and Mom say, "Hm, your thyroid is large."  Actually, Mom says, "Are you sure that isn't bigger than it was the last time I saw you?"

I love my mom -- duh.  (Hi, Mom!  I love you!)  She's always made a point of not being pushy because she hates when people are pushy but she can't help commenting on my thyroid.  I don't really blame her.  She had cancer in hers and the disorder she had is genetic.  And one of my sisters is having thyroid issues already.  And Mom had cancer.  If I were my mom I'd be concerned about my thyroid too.

Anyway, I went to the endo yesterday and had an ultrasound.  According to the endo the left side of my thyroid "contains no normal tissue."  It's all one big, fat, hairy nodule.  Okay, it's not really fatty or hairy because it's a thyroid, but it's big.  It's big and it's 'hypervascular.'  And it's big enough and vascular enough that she wanted me back for a biopsy today.  Fortunately, the right lobe of my thyroid is perfectly healthy, with minimal blood flow.

I hate biopsies, especially when they're of my own thyroid. Biopsies cause me a lot of anxiety.  I only have anxiety issues when it comes to my vomiting offspring, the ex-husband and his new offspring, and my thyroid.  Actually, I have anxiety over needles puncturing my thyroid.  Nine needles, to be precise.  Ugh.

I contemplated taking a Valium, pre-biopsy.  Ultimately, I decided against it for a lot of reasons.  They are as such:

1. A lot of my previous thyroid related anxiety was actually ex-husband anxiety.  You see, when I had the last biopsies, he was cheating on me for the third time (Yup, third! That I knew of!) and I was interviewing attorneys for my inevitable divorce.
2. I will likely require biopsies of my thyroid for years to come so I might as well get used to it.
3. I was going to have to get Lance to come with me and then drive me home in case I was drunk on Valium.
4. I didn't want to be drunk on Valium all day.
5. I gave birth to 3 children virtually 100% unmedicated.  What's a few needles in my neck?

So I didn't take any Valium.  And I lived.  I cried and I hyperventilated and I panicked.  But I lived.  That's the important part, right?

Now I await results.  My doctor thinks she can call me tomorrow with results.  I'll be hugely impressed if she can.  In my previous experience, biopsy results are at least a week out.  Anyway, I'm not complaining.  I just want to know what I've got here.  If it's cancer I might have the thing taken out next week.  Even if it's not I might still have it taken out in the next month.

Whew.  That's a lot of information right there.  I think it's past time that I finish my wine.

Oh, yeah.  The vampire thing.  I appear to have two puncture wounds on my neck.  This doc is so good that when she injected the lidocaine (twice) she marked the spots and took samples from the same sites.  Crazy stuff, huh? But my throat is pretty beat up.  It hurts to swallow and I'm swollen. Ugh.