Update on the Fall 2010 Semester

I'm about half way through this semester.  I think.  I don't have official mid-terms so I can't be sure.  But considering that my classes started in mid- to late September and the semester ends mid-December and it's now the end of October, I think this constitutes the mid-point of the semester.  I think.

Anyway, I dropped microbiology.  Did I already tell you that?  I can't remember and I don't feel like opening another window and perusing my recent posts to be sure.  But I dropped microbiology.  That class is the hardest class I've ever taken in my entire life!!  And I took geometry which gave me total night terrors all through my sophomore year of high school.  Microbiology completely dwarfs geometry in terms of difficulty.  And now, since my GPA directly affects my odds of getting into the extremely competitive nursing program I can't afford to scrape by with a C like I did in geometry.  So I did the responsible/wimpy thing and dropped the class.  Responsible because I did it by the deadline so as not to lose any money -- wimpy because I'm a wimp when it comes to having a less than desirable grade on my transcript.  My plan is to take it next semester (since I absolutely have to take it for nursing.  Duh.) in an actual classroom with actual lectures and actual lab exercises.  I aced A&P so I can ace micro.

My dosage calculation class is going great.  That makes me happy because I was scared -- excuse me, askeered, in a bigbigbig way -- of that class a few weeks ago. I remember dimensional analysis being a terror-inducing process when I went through nursing school the first time so I was not too keen on it this time, either.  But I've either become smarter or developed more common sense in the last 13 years or something because now it's easy as Pi.  Get it?  Pi?  Bwahahahahaha!  I crack myself up!  Occasionally.

Nutrition takes a little more work than math but it's still pretty easy.  It requires more time commitment because I have to read a lot of the textbook instead of just watching videos of math problems being solved but that's okay.  My biggest problem with nutrition is that the book approaches "good" nutrition from the point of view that margarine and its ilk are better for you than real butter.  Know what I mean?  The authors seem to believe that modern science is better at determining a healthy diet than are natural, minimally processed foods.  So as long as I approach my tests that way, I'm okay.  I just have to nod and smile and click the right answer to get a good grade and then go back to eating real butter and natural, grass fed meat and drinking full fat milk and all is right with the world.

I just got an e-mail today telling me that I can begin spring 2011 registration on November 10.  I'm excited.  I'm going to take microbiology (duh), either statistics or college algebra (not sure yet -- neither are required for my current nursing program but both are required for the BSN program I eventually want to transfer to, eons from now) and Spanish II or III.  I need to figure out how to skip Spanish I.  I'm not going to take Spanish I.  I'm way past Spanish I.

Anyway, that's how the semester is going.  It feels really good to be in school.

P.S. I have As in both classes.  Woot woot!

Cost is Disproportionate to Value

This sticker cost me $285.51.

Things About Which I Am Happy

1. I don't have cancer.
2. I'm back in school, where I belong, at least for a time.
3. My kids are healthy.
4. My kids are brilliant and funny and special.
5. There is good food to be eaten, good wine to be drunk and good music to be heard.
6. My family is out-of-this-world supportive and loving.
7. I live in Colorado.
8. It's fall.
9. There are more things to put here but I can't think of them right now.  It makes me happy that there are so many happy-worthy things.

My Real Name

Samuel: Solomon, why are you so difficult?

Solomon:  Because my name is 54 x 63.

Miriam: Hi, 54 x 63.

Solomon:  No, first you have to figure me out.  Then you can call me that.

Another Step

I have had a goodnight routine with the kids since they were very young; I think Solomon was maybe 3 when I started this.  That means Miriam was 2 and Samuel was an infant.  They really don't remember anything else for goodnights.  I kiss them on their cheeks and on their foreheads and between each kiss I say, "Good night," "Sleep tight" and "Dream of what tonight?"  And then they tell me what they're planning to dream about.

They love it.  Or at least 2 of them still do.

The last couple of weeks I noticed that when I sent Solomon to get ready for bed he wasn't coming back to tell me good night or let me know that he was ready to be tucked in.  Every night I still went in to tell him good night and frequently he pretended to be asleep when I kissed him.  Two nights ago I asked him if he is too grown up for the old goodnight routine.  He looked embarrassed and admitted that yeah, he does not like it any more.  So I told him that's okay, it's part of growing up to change things like that.  Instead, I tucked him in, hugged him and told him that I love him.  Last night he said that he doesn't really even want to be 'tucked in' any more; he'd rather get a hug in the kitchen or in my room or wherever I happen to be and just go to bed on his own.

Gosh, he's becoming an adolescent, isn't he?

I'm not bothered by this change.  I know it's part of growing up and I'd rather he tell me that he's uncomfortable with it so that I don't keep doing it and bugging him and keeping him a 'baby.'  I wondered to myself at the beginning of the school year if he'd stop some of the sort of attached behaviors that we have.  For example, when he gets out of the car in the morning, he waves to me with his hand formed in the ASL sign for "I love you."  That's another thing the kids and I have done for a very long time.  He hasn't stopped it yet but I think it's coming soon.

I'm not bothered at all, but it is bittersweet.  My boy.  :sigh:

Weather Conditions from The Weather Channel

Weather for Today & Tomorrow 

Today
Some clouds this morning will give way to generally sunny skies for the afternoon. High 67F. Winds NNW at 5 to 10 mph.

Tonight
Mainly clear. Low 42F. Winds SSW at 5 to 10 mph.

Tomorrow
Cloudy with a few showers. High 54F. Winds N at 5 to 10 mph. Chance of
rain 30%.

Updated: 10/11/10 5:27 AM MDT
For more weather information, visit www.weather.com from your PC or mobile device.

Doesn't that bolded portion sound like great napping weather? I cannot wait. I don't have to work, my homework is reasonably caught up and I have no errands to run. It's going to be sweet!

Sent via Pony Express

It's Been a While

Nice way to leave you hanging, huh?  Not knowing if I have cancer and all.  Eh, I figured no one was all that worried.  You all discovered via e-mail or phone call or in person or on Facebook (how good am I at the e-communication?!) that all was good.  Actually, come to think of it, if there's anyone reading this who didn't already know that my final path report was benign, I'd like to know who you are.  'Cause you might be one of the El Anonymous commenters.  So stand up and take a bow.  Or something.

Truth be told, I've not been in such a bloggish mood lately.  I think of something to write and I'm all, "Huh. I suppose that could be interesting.  If I could be bothered to drag out the ol' laptop and actually place my fingers upon the keys.  But Ye Olde Laptop is all the way over there.  And I'm tired from all the surgery and work and kids and cooking and laundry and dishes and organizing and budgeting and dealing with the ex-husband and eating and sleeping and breathing and not running.  It can wait." Yeah, I'm just a creative well-spring of words these days. Ugh.

So.

I have officially begun all of my classes. Clinical Calculations for Some Type of Medical Person is just fine, as is Nutrition for the Some Other Kind of Medical Person. Microbiology for the Super Smart Medico is freaking kicking my behind in a seriously scary, painful, nerve-wracking way. Yuck-o. I'm askeered. I want to drop it and then take it again in the Winter 2011 semester in an actual classroom with actual lectures and actual labs but I'm afraid of what that might do to the financial aid I've already budgeted into my life for the next 3 months.

I'm not working out. That probably has a lot to do with how 'blah-ish' I'm feeling lately. I don't have the energy for it. That's probably because I've almost forgotten what vegetables are. I need to find some carrots and squash, stat. I bet that would snap me out of this funk. Someone wanna give me a shove in the right direction? Please?

Seriously, I'm doing okay. I feel great, actually, considering that my throat was cut open less than a month ago. The scar is still sore.  Sometimes I forget that it's there and accidentally scratch an itch or something. When that happens there are a few seconds of blinding, "Oh. My. Gosh. What the %*#$? Did you think for a second that you have a normal neck?! OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!" And then I forget about it again.  Other than that, I'd never know that I'd had surgery.

My kids are amazing. I realized the other day that I have more moments of enjoyment with my kids than not. Sadly, a couple of years ago I couldn't say that. There was a lot of stress and anxiety and general malaise that caused me not to enjoy much of anything having to do with child-rearing. I'm not sure when it happened exactly but all of a sudden I started having these moments of thinking,  

"Wow. This is cool. These kids are fabulous. I'm lucky to be doing this," 

and they far out-numbered the moments of thinking,  

"Geez, when is this going to end?  IamsoexhaustedIfeellikeIamgoingtodiebeforetheyareadults." 

It makes me happy and sad to figure this out. Happy because I really like the phase we're in. Sad because I probably missed out on some great moments. Sad because I'm slightly afraid that this is all going to be blown to smithereens in a few short years by teenage angst and hormones and yucky stuff. But for now, I'm going to savor it.

Because now is good and that's what I'm about.

Yup, even with all the health issues and all the work and all the stress and all the school and all the tight budgeting, I'm happy.  I'm still savoring moments and feeling like this is a good life.  I've been dealt a good lot and that's more than a lot of people can say.

And now I'm rambling. I have bread rising in the oven and I've had some wine and it's time to go to bed. After I punch down the dough. See ya.

Surgery Update

So I had surgery.  They put me to sleep and cut open my throat and sucked massive amounts of tissue out of my neck.  Now I have bloody steri-strips across my throat.  How's that for an update?  Sorry, had to get it out of my system.  I occasionally have to fulfill my urges to be crude and graphic.

Anyway, I had the surgery.  It went well, didn't take as long as the surgeon expected, I recovered quickly.  I say recovered but I'm not fully recovered yet.  I still can't turn my head fully from side to side.  That hurts, kind of a lot actually.  I'm not hurting enough to need pain relief any more, though.  I haven't had oxycodone since Sunday afternoon and haven't taken even acetaminophen since yesterday morning.  Pretty sweet, I say.

I was extremely nervous the morning of the surgery.  It didn't help that Paul and I sat in the waiting room and talked about possible outcomes.  Outcomes like, "What if I don't wake up?"  "What if I throw a clot and have a stroke and go into a persistent vegetative state?"  "What if I go into a coma, come out of it and can talk but can't wipe my own butt?"  That's fun stuff to talk about, huh?  Okay, not so fun, but necessary in that situation.  And besides, it did help a tiny bit.  At least at the end of it I was sure that I wouldn't be left lying in a bed with only a feeding tube keeping me alive.  Anyway, we hashed out all the possible scenarios we could and I signed my life (temporarily) into Paul's hands.  And then we both sat and read our respective books (me: Providence by Daniel Quinn, him: Lamb by Christopher Moore) while we waited for the nurse to call me back.

The nurse who prepped me for surgery was cool, if a tad overkill with her whole you're-going-to-be-fine-this-is-so-not-a-big-deal routine. She was a little too hang-ten surfer chick for me.  There was a lot of "dude" and "man" and stuff like that.  But she took very good care of me and I probably would like her very much in another setting.

I met almost everyone who was going to be in on my surgery.  I met the anesthesiologist who was scheduled to put me under but then the schedule changed and I met a new anesthesiologist.  I met a surgical resident who would be coming in to assist my surgeon.  I met the medical student who was coming in to observe.  I met the head scrub nurse and she informed me that there would be a few other nurses in there also.  And then before I knew it I had to kiss Paul good-bye.  The scrub nurse wheeled me down the hall on one of those beds with an IV pole attached to me and a chart lying across my thigh and an elastic paper cap on my head.  I was one of those people -- the sick people.  It was very surreal.

And then I was in a cold operating room and they told me to scoot over onto the operating table.  I almost refused.  For 2 seconds I was paralyzed and I almost said "No, I'm not doing that.  You're going to have to move me because I'm not doing it." But instead I looked at the dozen faces around me, at the massive lights, at the sterile fields surrounding me and at my bed and my table and I said, "Wow, there are a lot of people in here. There's a lot of stuff in here," and I moved to the table. Just about the time I was about to hyperventilate and have a major freak out, the anesthesiologist said, "I'm giving you some meds to make you sleepy." And then I woke up.

Recovery was full of odd sensations.  I could feel something in the vicinity of my throat but it didn't hurt and I was afraid to touch anything for fear of making it hurt.  My eyes were really dry and I couldn't see.  Someone gave me a saline bullet to moisten them.  I wanted to stay awake and look around but I kept falling asleep, despite my best efforts. Apparently things went very well, though because they moved me to post-op after less than an hour and I went home less than an hour after that.

I've spent the week since then slowly increasing my activity and decreasing my meds and feeling pretty good, if a little tired.  I will go back to see the surgeon on Thursday and he should have a final pathology report for me by then.  I'm crossing my fingers that it's all good and this whole thing is behind me now.

During this time I've been reminded, repeatedly, how wonderful my family and friends are.  Jenn and Caleb took over my kids for 48 hours so I didn't have to cope with homework and showers and meals and transportation.  Paul stayed with me, brought me food, pills, water and ice packs.  He reminded me how much medicine to take and when.  He called my family and friends after my surgery and let everyone know that everything turned out well.  People at work have offered me any help I might need, sent me cards and flowers, called to inquire about me, one of them cooked and froze enough food for at least 5 nights of dinners.  My grandparents sent monetary support.  These are all good, good people.  Thank you, all of you.  I really wish there were some way to re-pay you.

The Best Days

Sometimes The Best Days are extravagant, phenomenal, mesmerizing events filled with roller coasters and cotton candy and fireworks.  Sometimes The Best Days are quiet, relaxing, comfortable times spent cuddling on the couch and eating comfort foods while watching movies.  And sometimes The Best Days are ordinary ones where not much really happens.  Not much happens except the magic of your baby learning about venus fly traps and telling you all about it with the brightest, biggest, shiniest smile on his face.  Where not much happens other than catching your shy daughter singing along to this song.  Ones where you walk your kids to school and see that the P.E. teacher needs help setting up for running club, and your eldest, your first baby, your all-too-soon-an-adult child is the first to volunteer his help to her.  Sometimes those are The Best Days.

Ya Gonna Get Hitched?

No.  No, we are not getting married.

Truthfully no one has asked me that, in those exact words, but lots of people, including my own children, have asked if Paul and I are going to get married.  I suppose that is a natural question when two people of our ages have been consistently and happily seeing each other for more than a year.  But we're still not getting married.  And we're both very content with that.

Here's why we're I'm happy with that (Actually, we're both happy with that, truly. But I don't want to make a habit out of speaking for Paul. He's capable of speaking for himself but he's not writing on this blog. Anyway, we've talked about this and we agree, so there you have it.) :

1. I had a pretty terrible marriage and Paul's was way worse than mine.  Seriously, it was badbadbadbadbad.  Bad. And those are just the parts he's told me about.  I know that doesn't mean a second would be so horrible for either of us but who wants to test it?  Really.
2. I rather enjoy caring for my children alone.  And by that I mean, I don't really enjoy it (because really, who enjoys being 99.5% responsible for the care and well-being of 3 human beings alone?), at least not 100% of the time. But I do mean that adding someone else and his child to this equation certainly aren't going to make it any easier to solve.  Paul and Cole are both great guys but this household has all it can handle right now.
3. I much prefer being able to do my own thing when I want to -- or at least when the child situation allows for it -- rather than having to constantly consider someone else's wishes when deciding what to do with myself. If I want to veg on the couch in my PJs and eat popcorn and watch crap TV all day or play TheSims I don't want to feel like I'm infringing on someone else's desire and/or need to go on a motorcycle ride or run errands or do laundry all day.
4. My kids have enough crap to deal with when transitioning from Albuquerque to here and back without adding more relationships to our home.  There are already too many people to deal with in Albuquerque.  They don't see it that way because they are 10, 9 and 7 but it takes a toll on them whether they realize it or not.  I'm not willing to add more stress and confusion and anxiety to their lives (and mine) by adding more people to it.
5. I much prefer simplicity, when possible, to complexity.

People say things like: 

But you need someone!!!

Why? For what?  I have someone who loves me, laughs with me, commiserates with me, does nice things for me.  We drink wine together, we have a great time, we have fabulous conversations.  We don't need to live together or be married to do these things.


You have to think about yourself! (This is usually in response to Number 4 above.)
I am thinking about myself.  I don't want to deal with the baggage that 2 step- & half-families bring with them.  These children have enough to deal with and so do I. The people telling me to think about myself are not the people sitting with my children, rubbing their backs and handing them tissues as they cry about missing the babies and the dad and the step-mom in Albuquerque.  Their hearts don't hurt like that.

You shouldn't be alone!
I'm not. Believe me. I'm not alone by a long shot. Right now I have 3 people running around me, requiring food and beverage and showers and entertainment and discipline and teaching and encouragement and affection and attention and all the other myriad things human beings require. I'm happy to give it to them. It's easier to give them what they require when I'm not also giving it to others. They deserve that and so do I.

But, but, but ... what if ... ?

What if what? What if Paul leaves me? What if he decides he's done with me? What if ... ? You know what? Someone already decided he was done with me. Being married to me didn't change that he wanted other people. And I left him. The marriage certificate didn't keep me there. Being married another time wouldn't change any of that. There are second divorces just like there are second marriages. "Two Divorces" sounds a lot worse than "Another Break-Up."  And it's a lot more expensive, too.  I'd rather not be "Twice-Divorced Chick."

I'm not closing the door on marriage forever.  I've lived through enough to know better than to say "Never" to almost anything.  However, I am saying "No" to marriage for a long time.  At this time, and for a long time, it's not for me.  And you know what?  I'm extremely grateful to have found a man who agrees with me.  He's a good one -- maybe even a keeper. / tongue-in-cheek

Surgery

Well I have a follicular neoplasm in my throat.  That means my thyroid contains atypical cells and no one is sure if they're malignant or not and they can't tell unless they take them out.  So I'm going to have the left side of my thyroid removed.  It's all scheduled, pre-authorized with the insurance company and I'm pre-registered with the hospital.  All I have to do now is fill out the living will and advance directive.  I'm not looking forward to that.

I know exactly what I want to be done with my body if the big "What If ..." happens but I don't like thinking about it.  Paul and I talked about it a lot when he had surgery last year.  I've talked about it with Jenn and Caleb and Lance, too.  I've talked about it a little with Mom and Dad.  I'm confident that everyone who matters will make sure that my wishes are honored if and when that time comes.  But putting it into writing is just different.  It's so final.  I guess that makes sense -- they're final wishes.  I know I can change it if I change my mind, but as of September 15 at 1:30 pm it's Final until I wake up.  I think that's the thing that has me on edge -- that this could be Final.  It's not likely to be, but it could be.

Wow, I'm morbid this morning.

I'll be glad to have this over with.  It's not like my thyroid has been a huge source of worry and pre-occupation for me but it will be nice not to have to think about it at all any more.  No more biopsies, no more ultrasounds, no more anything.  Just get it cut out and be done with it.

The surgeon is of the opinion that I can probably avoid thyroid replacement hormones.  I like that.  I don't want to mess with them, with mood swings or hair loss or temperature intolerance or weight gain.  The surgeon and the endo both think that since my left side is not normal at all the right side is compensating for it and can probably continue to do so.  Neither of them think we need to do anything with the right side -- it's perfectly thyroid-ish and not at all nodule-ish.  Yay for that, huh?

So there it is.  After 31 years of no surgeries, almost no scars and being hospitalized only for childbirths, I'm going to have A Thing.  A Surgery. A Story.

Water Park Fun

I forgot about these videos from our day at the water park in Arkansas.  I give you -- The Toilet Bowl:

Confusing a Girl

Miriam, telling me a joke: I know how to confuse a girl.
Me: Huh?
Miriam: Purple.
Me: Huh?
Miriam: See, you're confused!
Me: Why did you say, "girl"?
Miriam: Because that's the way I heard it.
Me: But it doesn't matter.  If you said that to a boy, he'd be confused, too.  If you specify that it's a girl when being a girl doesn't really matter, you're saying that girls are not as smart as boys.
Miriam, indignant:  That is NOT true! I'm never telling that joke again!!
Me, to myself: Thaaaaaat's right.

I Look Like I Was Bitten by a Vampire

And I feel like I got a Chuck Norris punch to the throat.  Ouch.

I went to the endocrinologist for a biopsy of my gargantuan thyroid today.  I'm not kidding about the gargantuan part, either.  It used to measure 4cm x 5cm and now measures 5cm x 7cm.  Or so I'm told. Whatever.  It's big.  Not like developing a second head big, but big nonetheless.  Big enough that medical type people and Mom say, "Hm, your thyroid is large."  Actually, Mom says, "Are you sure that isn't bigger than it was the last time I saw you?"

I love my mom -- duh.  (Hi, Mom!  I love you!)  She's always made a point of not being pushy because she hates when people are pushy but she can't help commenting on my thyroid.  I don't really blame her.  She had cancer in hers and the disorder she had is genetic.  And one of my sisters is having thyroid issues already.  And Mom had cancer.  If I were my mom I'd be concerned about my thyroid too.

Anyway, I went to the endo yesterday and had an ultrasound.  According to the endo the left side of my thyroid "contains no normal tissue."  It's all one big, fat, hairy nodule.  Okay, it's not really fatty or hairy because it's a thyroid, but it's big.  It's big and it's 'hypervascular.'  And it's big enough and vascular enough that she wanted me back for a biopsy today.  Fortunately, the right lobe of my thyroid is perfectly healthy, with minimal blood flow.

I hate biopsies, especially when they're of my own thyroid. Biopsies cause me a lot of anxiety.  I only have anxiety issues when it comes to my vomiting offspring, the ex-husband and his new offspring, and my thyroid.  Actually, I have anxiety over needles puncturing my thyroid.  Nine needles, to be precise.  Ugh.

I contemplated taking a Valium, pre-biopsy.  Ultimately, I decided against it for a lot of reasons.  They are as such:

1. A lot of my previous thyroid related anxiety was actually ex-husband anxiety.  You see, when I had the last biopsies, he was cheating on me for the third time (Yup, third! That I knew of!) and I was interviewing attorneys for my inevitable divorce.
2. I will likely require biopsies of my thyroid for years to come so I might as well get used to it.
3. I was going to have to get Lance to come with me and then drive me home in case I was drunk on Valium.
4. I didn't want to be drunk on Valium all day.
5. I gave birth to 3 children virtually 100% unmedicated.  What's a few needles in my neck?

So I didn't take any Valium.  And I lived.  I cried and I hyperventilated and I panicked.  But I lived.  That's the important part, right?

Now I await results.  My doctor thinks she can call me tomorrow with results.  I'll be hugely impressed if she can.  In my previous experience, biopsy results are at least a week out.  Anyway, I'm not complaining.  I just want to know what I've got here.  If it's cancer I might have the thing taken out next week.  Even if it's not I might still have it taken out in the next month.

Whew.  That's a lot of information right there.  I think it's past time that I finish my wine.

Oh, yeah.  The vampire thing.  I appear to have two puncture wounds on my neck.  This doc is so good that when she injected the lidocaine (twice) she marked the spots and took samples from the same sites.  Crazy stuff, huh? But my throat is pretty beat up.  It hurts to swallow and I'm swollen. Ugh.

Again

Remember this?  Well, we're waiting again.  I saw on Facebook last night that the ex-husband's new wife was going into the hospital for an induction today.  I have lots of opinions about early inductions but I really don't feel like getting into them right now.  She went in at 5:00 this morning and as of 6:00 this evening she wasn't yet dilated to 4 cm.  (That right there? One of the reasons I don't want to get into my anti-induction opinions.  It's frustrating and not really worth it, but whatever.)  Anyway, we're waiting.  Again, with the kids' excitement -- big time excitement because it's a girl and Miriam has been desperate for a sister for a looong time -- and again with my ambivalence.  Ugh.

Pocket Boulder

Remember the post about Samuel's pocket contents?  He came home today with this.  That's a quarter beside it.  It is so big I thought his pocket was going to rip when he took it out.  Solomon teased him a la Donkey from Shrek -- "That is a nice boulder!" I don't know what to do about this so I think I'm just not going to do anything.  Ha!

Photos About Town

I especially love "Drill here. Drill Now. Pay Less."  I don't think people understand that the companies that drill the oil still own the oil and still set the prices and are still trying to make a profit.  Geography has less to do with it than most people think.

Can you see that?  I know it's fuzzy and far away.  Sorry about that.  My biggest priority at the moment was making a left turn without needing to involve the police and my insurance company.  Anyway, it says

"Ladie's Night."

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

What the heck is a 'ladie'?  And what does the ladie possess that is such a big deal on Thursdays?

I just love this sign.

Flu shot gift cards.  'Cause there's really not a better way to show that you care.

It's difficult to see but the black and red sticker to the lower left side says, "Couldn't we have democracy without the bombs and torture?"

The red and yellow one says, "Be nice to nerds.  Chances are you'll end up working for one."

Pandering to the Lowest Common Denominator

I need to preface this with a disclaimer. I love to read and I wish everyone loved to read.  I know that not all people do, for a lot of reasons.  That's okay.  I believe that if a particular series of books can get someone who doesn't usually like to read to enjoy reading, I'm all for it.  A lot of these kinds of books cannot be called fine literature and that's okay.  In an ideal world, we'd all love writers like Dickens and Steinbeck.  We do not live in an ideal world and that's okay, too.  However, there are simply books that are not, nor never will be, fine literature. Twilight is one of those.  Yup, I said it.

I also need to say that I have not read Twilight (or any of the following books) and now I never will.  I used to want to read them because everyone raved about them.  Several people admitted that the writing is not good but that the story is good and it's entertaining.  So I figured I'd get around to reading them at some point when I needed a break from something like A Brave New World or The End of Faith.

Then I saw Twilight and New Moon. I will admit that a huge part of my turn-off after watching these movies was the acting. The acting was painful, reallyreallyreally painful.  However, an even bigger part of my turn-off is the idea that Bella cannot live without Edward.  Her obsession with him is unhealthy, not to mention dangerous. When Edward went away and Bella's whole being shriveled up into nothingness I was horrified.  No one should be that wrapped up in another person after just a few months of a relationship, especially at that age.  It sets up a horrible example for teenagers to emulate.  Even worse is Bella's preoccupation with putting herself in danger just so she can 'feel' Edward around her.  I don't know any respectable parent who would be okay with their daughter behaving this way, no matter how much she likes a boy.

It kills me that an entire generation of kids is growing up with Bella and Edward as their heroes, their example of what is good and honorable and part of a healthy, loving relationship.  It makes me want to puke. All the progress that's been made in the last few generations could be undone here.  Women can't be equal to men when they start life as girls who want to be like Bella.  I'll be damned if my daughter turns out this way.

I have become especially sensitive to these themes in the last few years after realizing how much of my own life has been wrapped up in unhealthy relationships.  I admit that I am probably more observant of the problems in Twilight because of this but that doesn't mean that I am hypersensitive or that I am wrong; it just means that others don't notice as much as I do.  It's still unhealthy and not something I'll ever teach my children is acceptable.

Take into consideration all that I just said and you'll understand my shock at seeing this while doing back-to-school shopping.

Are you kidding me?  Sucking kids in by modeling major study guides after the biggest teen obsession this decade?  I know you've got to appeal to kids somehow, but this?  This is low. This is lower than low.

Ominous blood?  Give me a break.








And, of course, the disclaimer for the book.  Never mind their intent; the lawyers make them put this there so no one gets sued.

Stephanie Meyer and Brian Leaf and their ilk are on My List.

Bathtub Faucet Leak

My bathtub faucet has been a little leaky since I moved into the place in late February.  And by 'a little leaky' I mean that as long as I paid attention and turned it completely off it would stop dripping but if I was lax and just casually shut it off it dripped every few seconds.

That changed about 3 weeks ago.  After my shower I turned off the faucet and it continued to let out a steady stream of water.  This could not be called 'dripping'.  No matter how hard I tried I could not get the thing completely off and the water practically poured out of it.  Frustrating.

I went about my business and got ready for the day, thinking that maybe the flow would slow a bit once the pipes were drained.  About 15 minutes later I went back to check and it was just like I had left it.  So I put that bucket under the faucet to measure how much was coming out.

That bucket, which holds 2.5 gallons, was full in 30 minutes.  I was aghast.  Holy precious water wasting, Batman!  It just so happens that I had to use the toilet then so instead of flushing with the flush handle I dumped my bucket of water into the toilet to flush.  Look at me with my savvy water saving knowledge! I then plugged the tub with the plan of using that water to flush until the maintenance guy could come up and fix my faucet.  After 10 hours the tub was full.  Insane.  Sadly, the maintenance guy had to drain a lot of my water to get at the faucet and fix it.  But it does not leak any more!

Pictorial Study of an Early Morning Run

While in Arkansas I had the privilege of going out and running through a portion of my childhood hometown.  I was really psyched about this because of the lower elevation and how much easier it would be to breathe.  You see, up here at almost 6000 feet above sea level there's less oxygen and my body has pumped up its red blood cell count so as to maximize the oxygen available.  I'm practically super human, right?  Running at 400 feet elevation would be like a walk in the park.

Wrong.  The air is freakishly thick and heavy and full of water and bugs and you have to chew it before you breathe it.  It weighs on you like a wet blanket.  It is not conducive to easy running.  But I ran anyway.  I ran because I like it and because I had the unique opportunity to run with my brothers and because it's good for me.  Yadayadayada.  And because we rewarded ourselves with Starbucks afterward.

One morning we went across the Arkansas river and back.  Really far, huh?  Told you I was super human.  Just kidding.  My parents live about 3 blocks from the river.  Anyway, the point is I took some pretty cool pictures with my nifty iPhone.  I want to share them with you.

 

Sunrise over the Arkansas River.

Praying mantis over the Arkansas River. I have a thing for praying mantids.

Oklahoma rain forest.

Road kill.  Sorry 'bout that.  Forget I posted it. Think about this instead: