Musings on My Career

I have recently begun to face facts.  Or one fact, anyway.  Namely, I do not have the time to go to nursing school and I won't have the time any time soon.  Any decent nursing program has a murderous clinical schedule that I cannot swing as a single parent.  I have done everything I can, worked out every plan, researched all the options and it's just not workable.

Now, I'm not one to let obstacles get in the way of what I want.  I don't give up easily.  I'm a hard worker.  I'm also a realist.  All the encouraging, feel good, don't give up-ness in the world cannot change the facts.  I don't know a single person in my situation -- single parent with the other parent 400 miles away -- who has done this.  Every BSN candidate I know has either 1) a spouse who works full-time and supports the family while caring for children; or 2) moved in with parents who can fill the childcare and financial support roles as needed; or 3) a vastly superior financial situation that allows for not working any kind of job.  None of these three are possible for me.

I was lamenting all of this to Paul and he said, "What else do you want to do?"  And I immediately said, "There's nothing else.  This is what I want."

But then I thought some more and I came up with these requirements for my career, such as it is or might be:

1. I have to be able to meet thousands, if not tens of thousands, of different people.  As much as individual people might drive me absolutely bonkers, I love humanity in general.  I need to be immersed in all the stuff that makes up people.
2. I have to be able to help those people.  I need to feel that I can have a personal impact on someone's life.  It may not be a lot to humanity as a whole, but I need to connect with at least a few people on a personal level.
3. I have to be learning stuff.  All the time.  I don't want a single day to go by where I don't learn something, be it fascinating or mundane.

I've never articulated before why I love nursing so much.  That's it right there.  Those things mean the world to me.  But that doesn't mean that nursing is the only way I can be fulfilled or happy. I can't believe I'm just now seeing this.  I think I could pursue a degree in biology or nutrition or something else that hasn't occurred to me yet and still be fulfilled and happy.

I would love to work in a research hospital some where.  If I could study disease processes or microscopic pathogens and figure out what makes them tick, I'd be happy.  If I could make them stop ticking, I'd be ecstatic.  If I could save lives by stopping the ticking of fatal pathogens, I'd die happier than anyone ever has.

I have a lot to consider.  I need to do some research on where I might fit.  I need to see what my realistic options are.  But I'm excited.  There is a whole world out there -- that doesn't require grueling clinical hours -- that I haven't considered before now.  And I can't wait to see what it might hold.