Samuel's Teacher

I was very pleased to find out that Samuel was assigned to the same first grade teacher Miriam had when we moved here. He's an excellent teacher and really seems to love his job. Here's an example:

Earlier this week the teacher called me to discuss Samuel's behavior. (Yes, already! Yikes.) Apparently Samuel was investigating an inappropriate hand gesture. According to the teacher, he wasn't acting maliciously and didn't gesture at anyone in particular. It was purely curiosity. So they had a talk about how it's not okay to do that and that was it.

We also discussed Samuel's inattention and how it's very difficult for him to complete his work. I explained that Samuel hasn't taken any Focalin all summer and that I really want to see how the school year starts before putting him back on it. Also, the transition onto the medication is a little difficult and I don't want to pile that on top of the transition to being here after being in Albuquerque and starting school after being on summer break. His teacher is very understanding and willing to work with us on this.

Very nice, huh? Well, listen to this.

Today I missed a call from the school. When I checked the voicemail I was disappointed to hear Samuel's teacher saying, "Hello, this is Mr. X." I was afraid it was something bad. But it wasn't. He was calling to say how proud he is of Samuel and that he thought I should know. He said Samuel worked really hard today, finished most of his work and followed the classroom instructions. Yay!

I got the message right before I left to pick up the kids. It was a great way to start the afternoon. Samuel's teacher even made a point of finding me in front of the school to reiterate how great Samuel did today. Pretty fantastic, huh?

The #1 Thing I Don't Understand

McCain/Palin bumper stickers with the McCain half cut off. I've seen them quite a lot around here. I just don't get it.

When John McCain was just John McCain, I considered voting for him. John McCain as a political candidate, on his own, was not so bad. By the time he chose his running mate, I was already a staunch Obama supporter and very proud of it. McCain made a terrible mistake in choosing Sarah Palin and I'm glad I didn't have to switch candidates because of it. Also, I was really irked that McCain's people expected women voters to back him just because he chose a woman VP. It's extremely insulting to think that women would support a candidate just because ovaries are involved. But most of that is neither here nor there.

Sarah Palin. Man, that woman irritates me more than anyone I don't personally know has a right to. She's not smart. She's a scary, bigoted, fear-mongering sorry excuse for a politician. And she's a quitter. I do not understand placing so much faith in her. It's like she's seen as the hope of the Republican party; people really want to vote for her in 2012. She has her own grassroots campaign going already amongst these people who cut John McCain off his own bumper sticker.

If anyone has any insight, I'd really love to hear it.

That's Why They Do It!

The other night I was mixing a drink with rum and fruit juice. Miriam said, "You just made wine, didn't you?" I said no, it wasn't wine, it was rum and it's also a drink that children shouldn't have. She sniffed it, proclaimed it 'gross' and then asked, "Why do they even make that stuff?" Before I could put together an answer, Solomon jumped in with, "It's so adults can have drinks that they don't have to share with their kids."

First Day of School

So the kids started school again today. I met their teachers last week and called the kids in Albuquerque to tell them about their classrooms.

When I picked them up yesterday they were really excited about going back to school. Even with all the excitement, I expected a little nervousness. I expected to park and walk them to their classroom lines, introduce them to their teachers and hug them tightly before heading off to work.

We pulled into the school parking lot this morning and the kids squealed and bounced up and down in their seats. I asked if they wanted me to walk up with them, hoping they'd say yes. But they didn't. Not a single one. I said to Samuel, "It's the first day of first grade -- are you sure you don't want me to go with you?" Nope. He took off, his stuffed backpack almost toppling him over.

And then I sat at the curb for a few minutes, half bursting with pride that they are so independent and confident and half sad that they don't seem to need me as much as I think they do.

The Kids are Back

It's only been 6 hours since I picked them up and I'm exhausted. I had forgotten how difficult this job is.

Old People's TV

You know you're watching an old people's television show when every other commercial is for COPD medications, life insurance to cover your after death expenses or nail clippers with an attached magnifying glass.

For the record, I'm watching Matlock. Sshhh, don't tell anyone.

I Bought a Car

The Suburban served me well for almost 7 years. I blew out the transmission, busted the emergency brake, ruined the rear brakes, neglected the windshield and covered it in opinionated bumper stickers. I put 110,000 miles on it after it had already been driven 70,000. It's a wonder the poor truck didn't decide to trade me in for a new driver a long time ago.

Lately, the Suburban's radiator has started leaking at an alarming rate, the air conditioner went out and it needed a new set of tires. I couldn't justify pouring that much money into a 12 year old vehicle. Plus, even if the truck was in top condition, it's not all-wheel drive, which I desperately need for the winter coming up. Off to the Subaru dealership I went.

I test drove the Forester and the Outback. I realized immediately that I liked the Outback far better; it feels like a car and I'm tired of driving an SUV. I considered taking advantage of the 'Cash for Clunkers' deal. I could have received $4500 toward the purchase of a new Subaru but even with that credit, I'd end up with a larger loan than I'd like. So I decided to get a slightly older car with a smaller price tag and trade in the Suburban. I only got $1500 for the Suburban but my loan is more reasonable.

I briefly considered test-driving other makes of cars. I decided not to, though. I've been dreaming of Subarus for a year and a half. I like that the Subaru plant is environmentally friendly. I like that Subarus last forever, that they're one of the safest cars on the road and that they're fuel-efficient. There isn't another car maker that can claim all of those things. Why go some where else?

So on Monday night, I signed my name approximately 28 times, initialed another dozen items and drove away (finally!) at 10:45 pm with my 2008 Subaru Outback. I actually bought a car by myself and it's exactly what I want. I did it. I still can't believe it.

More Reasons to Love Colorado

The Dinner With a New Friend

It's going somewhere good. :)

I Have a Problem

I am an itunes-aholic. It's interfering with my life. I stayed up past midnight last night, searching for and buying more music. I couldn't stop. Every time I found a song or an artist, I was reminded of another great song or another amazing artist. And somehow I spent over $40.

The worst part? I know I don't have nearly all the music I want. Fortunately, I am limited to 1 G right now since all I have is an ipod shuffle. I can rationalize that I really don't need more music since it won't fit. What will I do, though, when I get the iphone? That date is quickly arriving. (Yippee!) That sucker has 8 G! (Yippee!)

What will I do with myself?

Observations Made Between DIA and ABQ

• Airplane seat belts have extenders for people who don't fit in them otherwise.
• I like flying; I don't like flying in a hot metal tube with people who need to shower.
• It really galls me to pay $15 for my one suitcase, both ways. If those $30 were just added to my ticket price, I'd probably be okay with it.
• One should not bring a tuna fish sandwich on board to eat during a flight.
• There is television on planes now. The most fascinating channel is the one that shows this thing called Live Map. It updates every minute or so with the speed, altitude and progress of the plane toward its destination. I watched our trip from Denver to Castle Rock to Colorado Springs to Pueblo to the border to Santa Fe to Albuquerque. Our top speed was 574 mph and our highest altitude was 34,054 feet, but not at the same time.
  

Open Letters

Dear Apartment Manager:

I understand that you cannot control everything that happens in and around this complex. However, neither can I and it's not my job. It is unfair to me, a responsible resident, to keep locking up the fitness center and pool due to the irresponsibility of a few residents. Find a way to keep these facilities open on a regular basis or you can pay for a bike, gym membership and a pool membership for my family. Furthermore, when my lease is up in February, this may be the determining factor in whether I sign another one here or look elsewhere.

Sincerely Yours,
Disgruntled Resident


Dear Irresponsible Residents:

You suck. It's pathetic that you can't or won't or don't control your children. Letting them throw pool furniture into the pool is unacceptable. Letting them throw rocks into the pool is unacceptable. And to whomever continues breaking into the business center and messing with the computers -- I've got an extra special dose of 'You Suck' right here, just for you. It's big and hairy and gangrenous. Enjoy.

This is ridiculous. It's enough to make a rational, peaceful-minded person like myself begin wishing destruction upon you all. And that's saying something. I'm going to strongly recommend that your rents be raised accordingly to pay for the bike, gym membership and pool membership that my family requires since you and your disgusting hellions can't act like respectable members of society.

Also, if I personally see one of your disgusting hellions intentionally destroying complex property, I'm going to drag them by their ridiculous hair and nasty pants to your front door and drop them there so you can answer for yourself. And then I'm writing you a referral for Super Nanny. Idiots.

Sincerely,
Angry Neighbor

A Blank Screen & What's Happening

I'm sitting here on the sofa with my laptop. I'm listening to Norah Jones and just finished an iced coffee. The ceiling fan is on and I turned on the air conditioner as soon as I woke up.

My plans for the day include working out to Britney Spears and Eminem. After that, I'll go swimming for a bit and then lie by the pool, reading. At some point I have to go to the store and buy butter, heavy whipping cream and a new pastry cutter. I sliced up strawberries and set them up with sugar in the refrigerator yesterday. I will make shortcake and real whipped cream this evening, hence the shopping trip.

We went to Idaho Springs yesterday and took a walk through its little downtown area. 'We' are Jennifer, Caleb, Jonathan, Charissa, Elizabeth, Christopher, Noah, Adam and myself. Also, Abby, the new, very cute, very sweet dog. We took photos of flowers, an old train, artistic signs and each others' silly faces. We had lunch at Beau Jo's Pizza. It is delicious food.

I had dinner last night with a new friend. It's the third dinner we've had together. We shall see where this goes. It seems to be going somewhere good.

I'm flying to Albuquerque on Friday. I have reserved a hotel room near Old Town. I'll have the kids with me from Friday afternoon to Sunday morning. I am planning for us to walk to Old Town and see what is appealing. We will swim and play and catch up on some snuggling.

I turn 30 this week. I've been thinking about it a lot, but in sort of a vague, distracted way. I have no philosophical tidbits to put down here about this milestone. I'm not dreading it, I'm not expecting a big revelation and I don't feel a sense of urgency to accomplish major goals. It's another birthday. It just is.

Now my screen is no longer blank and you know what's happening here. And I feel a little better, having written something.

Summer

My kids are gone. They'll be gone for a while. It's good and it's bad. I desperately needed some down time. The down side of down time is that I miss them.

The week before the kids left, I took off work and focused entirely on them. I went to Samuel's kindergarten graduation. It was very, very cute. We had a celebratory lunch on the last day of school. They rode their bikes, scooter and skateboards. We took advantage of free summer movies, went to the aquarium downtown, played in the pool and at the park. They slept over with their cousins, played with dry ice, courtesy of the Cool Uncle Levi. And then I packed them up and sent them off with their dad. It was a good send off.

I breathed deeply, cleaned the house thoroughly and sat down to watch television programming considered inappropriate for children. And now it's time to focus on myself.

So far, I'm keeping busy. There is kickball, there are dinners and drinks with friends. There is running and weightlifting. There is soaking in the hot tub at midnight with a glass of wine, the stars and no worries. There is a lot of reading, coffee and music. It's a good time.

Struggling

I want to come back here and write. I feel the need to write. But I have nothing to say. I never thought this would happen. Is this what it's like to have writer's block?

When I started back to school a couple of years ago, I enrolled in an essay writing class. I really enjoyed that class. I missed it when the semester ended. It's what inspired me start this blog, actually.

One of my first assignments in that class was to talk about my reasons for writing. The professor wanted us to discuss creative writing specifically. I wrote that I don't like creative writing. I don't want to write fiction, short stories or novels. I usually have too many other ideas floating around in my head to focus on things that aren't true.

But now I have nothing to talk about and I'm stuck.

Exhaustion and Neglect

I'm still alive, just overwhelmed. My house is a mess. A big one. I've had all I can handle just keeping up with all the kids' end-of-year activities, field trips, ceremonies and perks. It will be over soon, the kids will go away for a while and I will have time to re-charge. It can't come soon enough.

The Business of Half Siblings

This is so much harder than I thought it would be. I never wanted to care this much about anything the ex-husband did, so long as he didn't mistreat our children or expect me to make nice to the mistress. When the mistress went away, half of my worries went away. But then he started dating the new wife and he married her and I had a whole bunch of new worries.

It was weird to find out that they were expecting. It was weirder when she started to show. The most surreal moment was when I saw a picture from her 3D ultrasound and the baby's nose looked exactly like Solomon's. Until then, I could push it to the back of my mind because the baby was still a formless, genderless being hidden away in her belly.

I was texting with my ex-sister-in-law (whom I still like) two nights ago about Solomon's birthday. The next morning I got another text message from her that said the ex-husband and the new wife had gone to the hospital because her water broke. All day I kept waiting for the text message that said the baby had been born and was, therefore 'real' in my mind. 'Real' in the sense that it now had a name and an identity, like my own children. The last I knew when I went to bed was that she was getting an epidural and not progressing past 3 cm.

When I woke up today I had a message that read "It's a boy, born at 12:30 am. He weighs 8 lbs, 2 oz and he's 20.5 inches long." It doesn't get much more real than that. Or so I thought. And then I heard the name. He has the same first name as my boys. And his middle name, which is undoubtedly the name they will call him, follows the same pattern that my children's middle names do.

My 3 children, for whom I live and breathe, are included in a naming pattern with this child. Their child. My 3 children are his siblings. They share DNA with him.

I've been trying to figure out why this bothers me and I think I have it: I don't want to care what the ex-husband does but he's made it so that I have to. He's had a child that will directly impact my children's lives.

The easier bit to figure out is equality. What I mean is that the new wife professed to love my children like they were her own. And I can believe she did. But that changed in the moment that she had her biological child because now she does have her own. Call me a cynic, but I find it impossible to believe that she'll love and treat all 4 of these children equally. I just do.

It's easier to believe that the ex-husband will love his 4 children equally. I can put myself into an imaginary situation in which I have an imaginary child with an imaginary partner and I can imagine that I love that child just as I love the 3 I already have. I can imagine that. The problem on the ex-husband's side is that my 3 children will see things differently. After all, this child has both of his parents together all the time. This child won't be traveling 400 miles to see his father during school breaks.

My children, at this point, are happy about the new baby. They are excited to go spend the summer there and play with him. Because they are happy, I am happy for them. Babies are cute and sweet and exciting. No matter my feelings on the subject, he is their half-brother and I don't expect them to ignore that relationship. But I dread the day they realize this may not be all it's cracked up to be.

Finally, I am grateful that this child missed being born on my brother's birthday, even if it was only by 30 minutes. I am more grateful still that this child wasn't born on my child's birthday, which is tomorrow. But that doesn't keep me from wishing he was born in another month, or even a different season.

A Moral Dilemma

Solomon and I had a brief conversation about war, soldiers and death the other day. I don't remember all the details of it. We have a lot of conversations like this; it's the way my boys are.

But Solomon asked something that he's never asked before, something I've never heard a child his age ask. He said, "What makes us the good guys? If American soldiers go into another country and kill people, aren't they bad guys then?"

Today ...

I slept until 11:30, made up for sleeping 4 hours in the previous 36.

I finished watching Season 2 of Big Love.

I ran barefoot through a massive thunderstorm, soaking my clothes, my shopping bags and what little hair I have.

I unpacked $30 worth of fresh produce in my kitchen while listening to A Prairie Home Companion.

I discovered the combined poetic tastes of a bottle riesling, a carton of fresh raspberries and a wedge of gouda.

I bought a cast iron stove top grill. I can't wait to cook a thick, medium rare steak on it.

I heard a song I haven't listened to or even thought about in almost 3 years. It brought back a lot of memories.

Today ... Today was a good day.

Sunflower Market

There is a Sunflower Market within walking distance of my apartment. I've taken forever to get there but I finally went two weeks ago and I went again today. I freaking love that place.

I was kind of surprised at its size; it's very small compared with other major grocery stores. But I quickly realized why. They sell ingredients for making meals from scratch, not pre-packaged, processed meals. Sure, there are some packaged foods available but there are very few of them. About 2/3 of the store is fresh produce. The selection is great and the prices really are silly, like they advertise.

A lot of things there are more expensive than they'd be at a larger grocery store. I probably won't ever buy very much of the meat or dairy products but it would be fine in a pinch.

I'm excited about this because it's encouraging me to serve more fresh fruits and vegetables and less of the unhealthy stuff. Obviously, we could really benefit from that. I'll also be looking for new recipes to use produce I've never really bought, like eggplants and butternut squash.

Another thing that really impresses me is their attitude toward reducing waste. Unlike the other grocery stores I've usually frequented, reusable grocery bags are encouraged instead of treated as an inconvenience. You get a $0.10 credit for every reusable bag you bring in. And when the register prints out the receipt it prints on both sides! So simple but just not done any where else.

The best part: the dairy section has little baskets full of cheese bits left over from the slicing and packaging of larger blocks of cheese. You can buy a couple of ounces to try so you don't spend $10 to find out if you like dill havarti. I happen to know now that I love, love, love dill havarti and I only spent $1.75 to find that out.

Yay for Sunflower Market!

Mother's Day

I can't believe I forgot to post this. It's the text of the fill-in-the-blank card Samuel made for me at school.

My Mother

My mother is very kind .
She is 20 feet tall.
She weights 565 pounds.
Her hair is blond bald .
Her eyes are bule .
She likes to play with me best of all.
She does not like wen I be mean .
I like when she says " I love you ."
I love her because she sum times plays with me .

Egg on My Face

Last night I put at load of jeans into the washing machine. Just as I closed the lid, Miriam said, "Wait! My chapstick is still in my pocket!" I dug through the soaking wet jeans and found the pair she described. Sure enough, her chapstick was in the pocket. Fortunately, no water had leaked into it.

I then proceeded to lecture her on responsibility and always checking her pockets when she gets undressed. I explained how things can be ruined in the laundry and how the laundry can be ruined by things left in.

This morning, Miriam went to find her favorite jeans in the dryer and guess what she found? My chapstick.

It's Not a Stomach Virus

It's pure, unadulterated evil, that's what it is. Unfortunately, no one makes pills to cure that yet.

We went to the doctor last week because Solomon's puking still wouldn't stop. They did a strep test and urinalysis that were both negative. We sent off stool samples and tested for several things. All negative. He has a lot of symptoms of a lot of things, but they don't all add up to one thing or another. This is so frustrating.

We cut out dairy for the last week and he went to the school nurse with a stomachache today. He proceeded to vomit, a lot. I picked him and we spent the afternoon watching cartoons. He's fine now.

We're using Zofran to control the nausea and vomiting but that's not a feasible long-term solution. I don't know what we'll do now.

I Have No Words

Because it's okay to slap your wife, but only if she spends too much money.

McDonald's vs. Whataburger

So the 1 Adult, 5 Children started to go a little nuts today. It's chilly and cloudy and threatening rain. The backyard is muddy from last night's rain. I thought the next best thing would be a trip to McDonald's for lunch and playing. Notice, I said thought. Past tense.

We got off to a good start. The cashier took our order just fine, repeated it back to me and everything was right. That's no small feat considering that there are 6 of us and a couple of the small people changed their minds and no one wanted the same toppings on their cheeseburgers. We moved on to fill our cups while our food was prepared. No one spilled anything. Yeah for small victories.

Then we chose a table. That's when things went a little haywire. We opened the cheeseburgers and Solomon said, "Hey, mine is supposed to be ketchup only." It was clearly covered in onions. And not the big, round slices that are easily picked off; no, these were teeny tiny, minced onion pieces.

So I took it back and apologetically asked for another one. When I got back to the table, it not only had onions on it, but also pickles and mustard. :sigh: Back to the counter again. I smiled, unapologetically this time, and said, "This still isn't ketchup only." That time, I checked the burger before going back to the table and it was just ketchup. Baby steps, right? Solomon took one bite and said, "This tastes like it's only grease. Did they throw it in the french fry cooker?" We blotted the grease off of it with napkins. Three napkins. Gross.

A few minutes later, Solomon said, "When I get older and I start thinking about where I want to work, I'm going to remember this and not work at McDonald's. I'm going to work at Whataburger instead."

P.S. This McDonald's also has the worst public wifi ever. Seriously, ever. Also, half of these children with me are too old for this. They are bored.

1 Adult, 5 Children

A summary of our weekend:

Meals prepared: 7
Snacks served: 5
Time outs enforced: 8
15 minute increments of audio/visual entertainment removed: 3
Crying fits: 7
Reminders to use the restroom: 43? (I really don't know.)
Walks taken: 1
Walks missed due to rain/headache/cold: 2
Playgrounds visited: 2
Children caught playing on the forbidden treadmill: 3
Birds' nests built: 1
Sword fights refereed banished: 5
Loads of laundry done: 4
Teeth brushed: it's a never-ending job
Hands washed: no one knows
Dandelions picked lovingly: 7
Full-on belly laughs: innumerable
Hugs: too many to count

And you know what? All the crying fits, time outs, sword fighting and treadmill discovery were worth the last three.

Righteous Indignation

Samuel is Samuel at home but he's occasionally Sam at school. I'm okay with it, as long as he is, so it's no big deal. At least, I didn't think it was. Until Samuel came home and said, "My friend Samantha stole my nickname! And she's a girl!"

Oh, the humanity!

Happy Star Wars Day

It was brought to my attention that today is Star Wars Day. May the fourth be with you.

The boy children loved this, Star Wars junkies that they are. Miriam didn't care. She was more excited that today's date can make a true mathematical equation: 5+4=9.

The Pukes, Pt. 2

One thing I forgot to discuss in the previous post -- stomach viruses this bad and this exhausting will also cause a person to re-evaluate the worst time periods of her life. Up to now, the worst weeks of my life consisted of the week I filed for The Divorce and the week we all had the flu. And I can say, without a doubt that the last month, especially the last 10 days, have trumped both of those.

Here's why: The Divorce sucked. For obvious reasons. But I could see how it would accomplish things in the long run. I knew I was becoming a stronger person and I knew I would be alright in the end. But this -- this serves no purpose. No one is benefiting from this. And maybe I just can't see it because I'm in the thick of it, but my peace of mind is shattered for a very long time. I will dread another stomach virus for as long as I can imagine right now.

This is worse than the flu, too. And here's why: with the flu, I could see signs of steady improvement after a point. Our fevers eventually went down, we stopped coughing every time we talked, our energy levels slowly increased and we stopped requiring Advil and Tylenol around the clock. But with this -- everything will seem fine for 12 hours, even 48 hours and then BAM! More puking. Also, with the flu, as long as we lay still with pillows and cool compresses and cough drops, we could enjoy talking, playing imagination games and watching tv. But with this, everything is a great big ball of awful horrendousness with no breaks and no end in sight.

So this is, officially, the worst week of my life.

The Pukes

You know what the pukes will do to a mother? One or two episodes will make her nervous, make her fear for the other children in the family and maybe a bit for herself. But she can generally deal with this, assuming it is short-lived and limited to one child.

But do you know what a month of on-and-off puking in three children will do to a mother? It will make her lose all hope of ever having a wholly healthy family again. That's what it will do, without a doubt.

It will cause her never to sleep peacefully. It will cause her to question every sideways look from her children, every too-quiet moment, every wince of discomfort and every slightly suspicious cough. She will be reduced to pestering said children with constant inquiries as to the state of their digestive tracts. She will launch into lengthy diatribes about the nominal differences among nausea, stomach rumbling, stabbing pains, dull aches, the need for a bowel movement and simple hunger pangs.

The mother dealing with a month of on-and-off puking will stock up on baking soda and white vinegar, a pallet at a time, terrified that she may be stuck at home with vomiting children and no means of sanitizing or deodorizing her home. Her pantry will forever be packed with 7-Up, Jell-o, Gatorade, chicken bouillon and saltines. She'll also never be short on the components of the infamous BRAT diet, plus carrots.

This mother will develop a sophisticated means of doing laundry, involving pre-soaking, soaking with the aforementioned baking soda and white vinegar, long, hot washing with detergent and twice rinsing. She will cease folding towels and wash cloths, opting instead to leave them placed strategically around the home. This enables her to grab one at a moment's notice, thereby catching vomit before it hits the carpet.

She will begin hanging trash bags off the doorknobs so that plastic garbage cans can also be placed thoughtfully throughout the home. If there are not sufficient garbage cans to assuage her anxiety, she will pull out massive plastic bowls to fill in the other spots. All vomit receptacles will be sprinkled liberally with her baking soda. This serves two purposes: odor absorption and splatter prevention.

This overwrought mother will even begin to question her sanity. As much as she dearly loves these puking children, she will have fleeting glimpses of a road not taken: a road without children, a road without children who puke for a month. She will begin to dream about the coming summer -- heretofore dreaded because the fruit of her womb is expected to spend the entirety 350 miles away -- with an anticipation she has never known until now.

This poor mother will develop stress headaches that no amount of Advil and caffeine can banish. She will move about as if in a dream, wanting to cry and not crying because her children already feel awful enough. They shouldn't see their mother cry like this. Also, crying is not known to do anything helpful for headaches or vomiting.

That's what The Pukes will do to a mother. In case you were wondering.

Dentist Update

Miriam did very well! I am so relieved. She took the valium, had nitrous oxide and didn't even notice when they injected her gums with anesthetic. Wahoo! It took quite a while to do the work that she needed but she didn't complain. I was worried that she would be in pain tonight after the anesthesia wore off, but she hasn't said anything about it. I am so proud of her! We still have to go back in a couple of weeks for one more, much smaller cavity. But we're done with the majority of her work.

Samuel had x-rays and cleaning done. He has no cavities! We got to see his x-rays and they show his adult teeth ready to come in during the next several months. He's anxious to have his first loose tooth but it could still be a while; he didn't get his first teeth until about 9 months old so he's a little late in that area.

Solomon also had x-rays and cleaning. He has one small cavity and needs his molars sealed so we'll do that next week. The dentist said we need to see an orthodontist for an evaluation. Solomon's upper bicuspids are coming in a bit high and are not aligned with his other teeth. He also has some flaring out of his molars on the top. I really hope we don't have to do braces but that remains to be seen.

All in all, it was a good trip. Any dentist visit that doesn't include crying and hyperventilating is a good one, in my book!

Tough Times

We've had a run of tough days lately. I can see the proverbial light at the end of the proverbial tunnel but what I really want is for this last week to be proverbial instead of actual.

It started last weekend with a stomach virus that hit us for the second time in 3 weeks. And it just would not go away. I haven't slept well in over a week because I've expected to be woken by ominous coughing and gagging. It's hard to relax.

Miriam has a large cavity that has to be filled tomorrow. She's nervous. I'm nervous. I'm trying really hard not to show how nervous I am because I know that will only make it worse. I have to wake her tomorrow morning at 4:00 if she's going to eat any breakfast because she can't eat for 4 hours before the procedure. And then I'll be giving her some Valium before we head out the door. I really hate this.

Solomon has been extremely stressed. He's exhibiting some symptoms that worry me. I'm not sure of everything that's going on because he refuses to tell me. We went to the doctor to get some guidance and for now we're just watching him. I just want it to go away.

Summer can't come soon enough. We need a break from school and our whole routine really. Sigh.

What a Thinker!

Samuel has had a recent problem with using potty words too often, in an attempt to make people laugh. He gets pretty gross with it so the other night I told him that from then on, any time he used inappropriate potty words (i.e., other than referring to actually using the bathroom) he would have a time out.

Today, while signing the kids out of the after school program, I heard him all the way across the cafeteria, sing-songing, "Pee-pee, poo-poo, diarrhea!" Gross. After he came back to me with his backpack, I told him he'd have a time out as soon as we got home. His reply? "Mom, instead of that, can I have my time out tonight after I'm in my bed and asleep?"

Remember This?

We had a massive thunderstorm at the end of last summer. It rained for a day and a half straight and we did some serious wading afterward. Here's the link to that post and a picture.

Well, that area looked exactly like that again today, only it was melted snow. I'm not kidding. It snowed from Friday morning until last night. When it does that and the temperature is just above freezing and the following day is 60F, you get a ton of snow run off.

We attempted to play outside for a bit -- no wading, though. It was a bit surreal. We had on snow boots and gloves, but skipped out on the coats, hats and scarves.

Why I Don't Like Today

• Miriam and Samuel started puking last night.
• Miriam and Samuel started having diarrhea this morning.
• I'm not feeling so hot.
• Solomon denies feeling sick but I'm just waiting for that shoe to drop.
• I'm somewhat hungry but limiting our diet today in light of our earlier gastrointestinal distress.
• I'm worried about whether the boys can go to school tomorrow and Miriam can keep her dental appointment.
• The weather was beautiful today -- 60F and sunny -- but we were too sick to go any where.
• We did go outside to play in the snow for a bit and Samuel puked.

Why I Like Today

• I didn't have to go any where in the 7" of snow.
• My house is really, really clean.
• I love my new bedroom.
• I made a fantastic chocolate cake with fabulous icing, all from scratch.
• The fantastic chocolate cake with fabulous icing is delicious.
• We had pizza rolls and baby carrots for dinner -- tasty and easy.
• We watched The Goonies last night and the kids liked it so much, they watched it twice more today.
• I shaved my head again.
• I also cut the boys' hair and Samuel asked for a mohawk. He's very cool and very cute.
• I watched 2 cute movies on TBS -- ones I haven't seen before.
• I'm now watching Bridget Jones: Edge of Reason. I have only seen the first one and I assume this one is as good as the first. Actually, the books are really good, the movies are only decent and only because of Colin Firth; Renee Zellweger is just so-so. In any other movie Renee Zellweger is really annoying with her sourpuss-squinty face. But now I'm rambling, rather than listing reasons why I like today. Moving along ...
• I had really good coffee with half and half this morning. I don't remember the last time I did that. It's been a very long time.
• I have lit lots of wonderful little candles, for no other reason than because I just like them.
• I can feel that wisdom tooth trying to expand a bit more but it's not as painful as it was the last time it tried to expand.
• I am not going to work on Monday; of course, that's because I'm taking Miriam to the dentist but I have a much better gut feeling about this dentist than I did about the last one. I'm big on gut feelings lately.
• I'm about to begin re-watching Arrested Development. I finished the whole series earlier this week and I've been told it's even better the second time, so here I go.
  

I think that's it. As if that weren't enough.

Chores List

At least Miriam acknowledges that I do a lot around here.

Breakfast in Bed

I'm not a fan. I like my bed a lot and it makes me nervous to have food in it because food is messy. But I woke this morning to Solomon shaking me. He pointed to the dresser and said, "I made your breakfast!"

So I sat up and ate it, very carefully. He had toasted two waffles for me and washed some strawberries. He even brought in syrup and butter and a glass of milk. And to top it all off, he even made breakfast for himself and the other two children. Such a sweet kid.

My Thoughts on Being Bald

I like it more than I thought I would. I stopped wearing scarves, bandanas and hats because they itch and I don't care what people think of my bald head. I didn't do it for them anyway.

My hair grows pretty fast. It's already long enough to get messed up. I'm not kidding. I woke up this morning and there was a spot on the side of my head that was all smooshy looking from lying on it. I fixed it with aloe vera gel.

I've used a lot of aloe vera gel in the last few days. I sunburned my scalp on Saturday. When I did this, it occurred to me that I'd probably get a sunburned head at some point but I kind of forgot about it. Then Jennifer and I went to the Mile High Marketplace and walked around for several hours. I wore a hat initially but then my head started itching and it got hot so I took it off. I should have applied some of the $2 sunblock I bought.

People look at me differently since I shaved my head. People who know me look at me like they suddenly don't know me, and not in an I-don't-recognize-you way. It's more like an I-didn't-know-you-had-the-guts-for-this way. Total strangers look at me like I'm a much more interesting person than I really am.

I truly think that hair is just hair now. I'm thinking about dying it some outrageous color because if I don't like it, I can just shave it all off again. This is fun. Also, I'm fully aware that I would probably feel entirely differently about my baldness if I could not grow my hair back again.

Sick of Hearing ...

About ways to 'beat the recession.' I hate that phrase because it's being over-used and because it's inaccurate. You don't beat a recession. You ride it out. You save your money and you budget and you live sensibly; basically what everyone and their dog should have been doing for the last 20 years anyway. If they had, there mightn't have been a recession to beat.

Spring Snow

It's sort of oxymoronic, but we've had 3 'winter' storms since spring began 2½ weeks ago. The National Weather Service has issued formal warnings with time limits and everything.

The first was the worst. The school district canceled school preemptively because of it. This is the same school district that hasn't canceled school all winter and only called one delayed start. The kids and I were on our way to school when a neighbor and the father of one of Samuel's classmates stopped me and told me school was closed. I hadn't even bothered to check because it was 35 F, with no current precipitation and no wind. I figured that if the storm really got bad, they'd close school early. Oh, well. So the kids spent the day with Jennifer and her boys, which they loved.

The snow started at about 8:30 and picked up considerably all morning. At work, people were calling in and rescheduling their appointments faster than anyone could answer the phones. Finally, the afternoon schedule was completely cleared and closed off. I left at lunch time and went to Jennifer's house.

I had planned to pick up the kids and go home to ride out the storm but I quickly changed my mind. The snow and wind were so bad, I could only see about a ½ mile ahead of me. I skidded a few feet several times and twice thought I was going to go off the road. It was not fun. It took me an hour to get to Jenn's house; that drive is usually 15 to 20 minutes. So we camped out there until the next morning.

Blizzards are lots of fun the next day, though. We went sledding and had a blast. It was the kids' third or fourth time to go sledding but they've never gone on a hill as big as we used this time. It was really high and really fast and really fun.

There is something simple about sledding and playing in the snow. Being bundled up a la Christmas Story-I-can't-put-arms-down! is a novel experience as an adult. Tramping through snow half way to my knees is hard but it's a fantastic work out. And when I fell, I didn't care. What's to care about? And there's nothing quite like getting a big shove down a 20 foot hill and not having any control over where I stop or if I go flying face first into the snow.

Purging and Organizing

I undertook a huge project when my internet failed. I have a massive walk-in closet that has slowly shrunk in size during the year I have lived here. I started to fear for my safety when walking into the closet and I decided it was time to fix that.

The first step was to e-mail the ex-husband's new wife and tell her that the next time the kids went to spend time with them, I would pack up everything the kids need in Albuquerque and they were welcome to keep it all there. I realized that every time the kids come back, their bags basically stay packed until the next time when the exact same stuff makes the trip back to Albuquerque. Senseless, I tell you. And it takes up my closet space.

So then, I went through each box in my closet and sorted, tossed and organized mercilessly. If it's not useful or very meaningful, I threw it out. I was holding on to a bunch of useless garbage and I hadn't even realized it. I lost track of how many trips I made to the dumpster with two big bags of trash each time. I also filled the cargo space of the vehicle with stuff to donate to Goodwill. I even got the kids in on the action and made them pick out toys to give away.

When I was finished with our bedrooms and closets, I still wasn't quite satisfied so I went on to the bathrooms and kitchen. I have two more bags to take to Goodwill after all of that and I've tossed another half dozen bags into the dumpster.

As a reward for all my hard work, I'm re-doing my bedroom. I found a duvet cover and pillow shams that I really like, added a couple of throw pillows I made and one I couldn't make and some new curtains. It's coming together and I love it.

Part of this project is redistributing furniture. I have a headboard and dresser set that belonged to Great Grandma Eddy. I've had them since I got married 10 years ago. They're special to me because they belonged to her but they take up a lot of room in my already too small bedroom. The solution: give them to Jennifer and Caleb who need furniture for their guest room. So we are doing that this afternoon.

I was going to invest in a small chest of drawers for our pajamas and things that don't hang in the closet but I realized I don't need to. As a result of purging my closet contents, I have more space for clothes -- can you believe it?! -- so I bought a hanging organizer to hold those things.

The last phase of this spring cleaning and organizing will be to go through the kids' toys again while they are still gone. They did well and picked two medium-sized boxes worth of stuff to give away. But they still have too much stuff; with Samuel's birthday party coming in a couple of weeks and the other two having birthdays next month and this summer, we'll have way too many toys. Time to toss and give away.

I end up tossing and organizing roughly once a year and it always amazes me how much stuff I can collect in 12 to 18 months. It's staggering. And I am, by no means, a pack rat. I've never gone through each and every part of my house all at once, though. This feels pretty amazing.

Miriam vs. Princess Leia: The Battle of the Cooties

Miriam has complained for years that she is surrounded by too many boys. She has two brothers, two male cousins that we spend a lot of time with and in Texas, our best friends were another mom and her two boys. No girls, save for another friend and her daughter that we didn't see as often.

Miriam has asked me repeatedly why she doesn't have a sister. I tell her that's just the way things are. She's really excited about her new step-sibling-to-be because it might be a girl. For Miriam's sake, I hope it is. I really do.

A couple of weeks ago, Miriam was again bemoaning the fact that she has little girl interaction and the following conversation ensued:

Miriam: Boys have stinky cooties. They rub off on me. Princess Leia must have a lot of boy cooties, too. She has as many boys around her as I do.

Me: Who has more contact with boy cooties, you or Princess Leia?

Miriam: :thinking hard: Probably Princess Leia because Darth Vader has worse boy cooties than Solomon and Samuel.

Busy, Busy, Busy!

I've been absent from the internet lately. Something is wrong with my router or my modem and my wireless connection is failing. I'm not sure what the deal is but it has severely hampered my posting capabilities. I've been too busy to figure it out so my internet access has been limited to lunch breaks at work and right now at Einstein Brothers.

At first, I was going to summarize the last three weeks in one big post but then I realized I don't have the energy for that. It's tough to organize that many days' worth of news into one cohesive post.

Long story short, I have taken advantage of the extra time not spent on the internet to get some stuff done around the house and -- ahem -- go to bed earlier. It's been great. I feel so productive.

Nice Moments

I took the kids out to dinner last night for no reason really. I just felt like surprising them and they love Red Robin so we went. We had a great time laughing and talking about their school day and my work day. At one point, I said, "I love you guys so much. You know that right?" Solomon looked at me and said, "That's the thing you say to us the most!"

I was really happy to hear that from him. Sometimes I feel like so much of my time is spent nagging them to pick up their shoes and do their homework and brush their teeth that they might look back on their childhoods and wonder why I was so uptight. I know I can get pretty intense about that stuff but if they're not hung up on it now, maybe they won't be in 20 years, either.

What is Wrong With People?

I just watched as a woman left her mother sitting at the curb in her wheel chair while she moved her car to an empty portion of the parking lot. Then she came back to get her mother and pushed the chair half way around the building to the car. Why did they have to do this? Because someone with no business parking in a handicapped parking space did just that. This woman and her mother had no room to maneuver the wheel chair in a regular parking space. Seriously, what is wrong with people?

People Watching

My vehicle is having extensive work done on both the brakes (Yes, again. In December they just made it functional with a minimum of time and money.) and the engine. This means I am without a car today and hanging out near the mechanic shop. They have a courtesy service that would take me home but I told them I'm going to hang out in the area for a while.

I'm doing this for a few reasons. One, my living room is collapsing under piles of unfolded laundry and I don't want to look at them any more. Two, the library is near here and I will walk over there in a bit to return some CDs. Three, I have a ton of household management stuff to do: grocery listing, to do listing, schedule organization, bill organization, etc. and if I hang out at home, I'll get distracted by the laundry avalanche. (The plan is to get that stuff done while I sit here but so far, it's not getting done. Go figure.) Finally, and ultimately, I think I deserve a nice morning out to drink a caramel macchiato, listen to music and people watch.

So here I sit in the coffee and bagel shop. It's rather interesting to be here for an extended period of time, rather than running in quickly for a latte and running out again. This is a great place to people watch.

I've seen multiple business schmoozing sessions. It's easy to spot them; business casual, some glossy brochures and artificially broad smiles. The longer they sit, the wider the smiles, the harder the sell. It's interesting to listen to a salesperson on a commission wrap it up and get the powers-that-be to sign on the dotted line. I'm terrible at that kind of thing. I'm so grateful that the only thing I have to sell is a flu vaccine.

A coffee klatch sat down across from me just now. It appears to be a family: a woman, her daughters and one of her daughter's daughters. They are the sort that looks like they worked hard at looking like they worked out this morning. The baby is cute. She's having a bottle while the women have something that is not coffee. I guess that would make them a soda klatch or maybe a fruit smoothie klatch.

Before they sat down, a couple was sitting there and discussing their mutual misunderstanding of an emotionally charged subject. They both had that frustrated, tight-lipped expression that says, "Why can't you just see this the way I do?" I think she was upset at the way he handled a phone coversation with an ex. I'm glad I don't have those conversations any more.

Out the window beside me has to be the most entertaining thing I've seen all morning. It's a group of three people, two women and a man. One woman is dressed normally. The other is wearing short shorts, a button down shirt and a puffy ski vest. On her head is a massive faux fur hat with ear flaps tied up on top. The man is wearing pajama pants covered with what looks like a stenciled design of confetti. He has no shirt and his skin looks as if he hasn't worn a shirt for the better part of the last decade. He is wearing a hat that looks like it belonged to Gilligan before it washed ashore and someone sponged it with neon paints. They are all carrying 10-ft long dried reeds. I assume they are sitting outside because the man is not wearing a shirt and because the reeds probably wouldn't be welcome inside, although I'm not completely sure of that.

Well. I'm not sure anything else here could top that so I should quit while I'm ahead. I should also quit this because I have a long list of stuff to do and no one is going to do it for me.

You Can't Make This Up

Unless you're a comic book writer, that is.

Wanna See Me Bald?

I'm volunteering to have my head shaved at a St. Baldrick's event and, in the process, raising money to fund childhood cancer research. I've been thinking about it for a while and I'm finally just going for it. There's no time like the present, right?

Anyway, I'm excited about it. I'm a firm believer in 'every little bit counts' so any help I can give will be given and I am happy to do it. Plus, I'm excited to add shaving my head to the list of stuff I've done.

Here is a link for more information on my event. Psst ... you can also make a donation to the cause.

Diabetes

Mom, did you know that sometimes coyotes have a disease called diabetes? And if a coyote bites a person, that person can get diabetes, too. Diabetes is a poison disease and you can die if you have it. You don't want to get diabetes, Mom.

Or so says Samuel.

What We Did Today

After I spent a couple of hours spring cleaning, I decided we should take advantage of the beautiful weather. So we drove a few minutes to Cherry Creek State Park and played on the beach. This was our view for 2 hours. I love living here.

Possibly the Cutest Thing Ever

Drama King

I can't help but laugh at Solomon several times per week. He is so dramatic about illness and injury that he becomes convinced he is knocking at death's door on a regular basis. He just came to me, gasping for breath, and wrote a note that says, "Samuel brok my ryb. He hit me with his nakel." When asked what a 'nakel' is, he croaked, "His knuckle." I laughed and he made a face of impotent fury.

Now he is lying on the sofa with an ice pack on his side and looking very sorry for himself. For the record, he provoked Samuel into wrestling and he doesn't even have a red mark on his skin.

Last night we had dinner at Chick-Fil-A and Solomon refused to eat anything from the fruit cups I had ordered. He was anxious to go play with his siblings and cousins but I told him he had to choose 5 pieces of fruit to eat first. He nibbled on half an apple chunk and claimed it had given him a headache.

Solomon once told me his appendix had just exploded. I told him that if that had happened, he'd have been lying on the floor writhing in agony. He let it drop then, but he called me at work the next day and said, "This time I'm sure my appendix exploded. I can feel it." I had him jump up and down and when I didn't hear screaming I felt pretty sure he was okay. It's a good thing I'm not as much a hypochondriac as he is, or we would be in the doctor's office every other day.

Sure, You Will

Nervous 8-year-old-boy: Am I getting a shot today? Or a stick in my throat?

Me: No, the doctor just needs to talk to you and your mom.

Boy: Are you sure? 'Cause I don't like that stick in my throat. You know, the one that makes you want to throw up? And then you do throw up. I don't like that.

Me: Yes, I'm sure we don't have to do that today.

Boy: Good, because if you were going to do that to me, I'd just run away. I'd run away to the Big 5 store.

Me: Big 5 is across the street and there's a lot of traffic. That might be dangerous.

Boy: No, because if I run fast enough, I can fly over all the cars. I think sometimes I could fly over the tallest building in the world.

Me: tries -- unsuccessfully -- to stifle laughter

Goose Stepping

I don't know if the geese are on their way back north for the spring or what but flocks of them have set up camp on our parking lot at work. They are eating their fill of whatever they eat and the by product is ending up all over the parking lot. It's so attractive. And I'm having the time of my life stepping over and around it. Nasty birds.

He's On To Me

The Spider Spray is actually Bath & Body Works Warm Vanilla Sugar body spray. Jennifer gave me a set of lotion, body wash, spray and cream for Christmas. I've been using the lotion and Solomon commented that I smell like Spider Spray. Uh-oh.

Overheard

Mother to her daughter at the chess tournament: It's okay, honey. That was a hard board. You'll get an easier one next time.

The Chess Tournament

Solomon played in his first chess tournament yesterday. He's recently become really interested in the game and will play anyone who takes the time. He joined the chess club at school on Wednesday mornings and he's learning a lot there.

I taught him the basic moves 3 years ago and he started beating me shortly afterward. Granted, I am the last person who could be called good at chess but he was not yet 6 at the time! Now it's gotten to the point that he surprises me with some of his moves, ones that I had no idea were coming. Which, again, doesn't take a lot when I'm playing chess, but still. Can you tell I'm proud of him?

I was really impressed yesterday. Solomon is an impulsive kid and doesn't always listen when it counts. Since this was his first time in a setting like this, I was worried that he'd miss out on important instructions and be sorry about it later. But he didn't. He sat right in front at the players' meeting before all the action began and he soaked up every bit of it. He was calm and focused.

He lost his first two games and I was worried that he'd start to get down on himself after that. But he impressed me again. The tournament directors did a good job of constantly reminding the kids that this was all for fun, that they should do their best and enjoy the games, that they might learn something from the games they lost.

And then Solomon won the third game. I've never seen a happier smile on my child's face. It was a great feeling, for both of us. He lost his fourth game and won the last. I was floored by his composure during the whole thing. It was a long day with a lot of waiting around for pairings and standings to be posted but he kept his cool through the majority of it.

He received a participation trophy and lots of valuable pointers for the future. And it was nice to find out that of the three kids who beat Solomon, one was undefeated all day and another only lost one of his games.

How Did They Get to be This Cool?

Samuel and Solomon like Linkin Park. (Obviously, I censor what they listen to.) All three kids are well on their way to appreciating music as much as I do.

Miriam is compassionate. Her teacher told me she translates for the child in her class who knows very little English.

Solomon wants to be a movie director. He's making a movie in his head already. Every once in a while he tells me about a new part in it.

Miriam wants to be an artist when she grows up. I tell her that she already is and she beams. One of her art projects was chosen to be displayed in a shopping mall near here.

Solomon really loves chess. A few weeks ago he said, "Chess club is kind of a dorky thing to do, isn't it? That's okay, I like being a nerd."

Samuel has a mental running list of his favorite songs. Every once in a while one comes on the radio and he dances along or plays air guitar. Sometimes he informs me that one of his favorite songs has changed or he gets mad at me for changing the station in the middle of a new favorite song.

The kids' favorite shows are on the Discovery Channel. They love Dirty Jobs, Man vs. Wild, Mythbusters and Cash Cab.

Invasion of the Radio Snatchers

My Spanish radio station disappeared. It has been replaced by another Spanish station that plays music I do not enjoy. Not only do I not enjoy it, I actively dislike it. The rhythms grate on my nerves like a spoon stuck in the garbage disposal.

Samuel, Vol. 3

I don't remember where I was during the last Samuel discussion and I'm too lazy to go search for it. We have completed an AD/HD assessment and the doctor compiled all the questionnaires from Samuel's teachers, Jennifer and me (the ex-husband and new wife were involved too, but they're way off base and I don't have enough time or energy to hash that out here). Per the pediatrician, the results are consistent with ADD. He recommended a medication and I immediately felt my blood pressure jump 20 points.

I looked up behavior modification and cognitive therapy. Reading through the material, I was slightly insulted, even though I shouldn't have been. I found that most of the suggestions and guidelines are things that I've always done with Samuel, and my other two children, for that matter. Reading that consistent discipline is key was kind of like a slap in the face. What good parent doesn't understand this? It was kind of like being told "Yes, your child is diagnosed with this condition but if you are consistent, he'll get over it." Yeah, I'm a little sensitive right now and I'm inferring a lot here, but still. I was miffed.

I am taking a couple of other suggestions (simple reward charts and routine lists) to heart and giving them another chance. His teacher has tried these in varied forms with occasional success at school but it can't hurt to try them at home again.

With much anxiety on my part, I put Samuel on the prescribed medication. I didn't need to wait long to see its effects. I gave it to him at 8:00 on a Saturday morning. Two hours later we did some of his homework and I could not believe how efficient he was! I usually spend 25 minutes hounding him to write his name or add 2 numbers together and it stresses both of us way more than it should. But with the medication, we were done in 15 minutes, no pain, no stress.

I was worried that his appetite would drop or that he'd be overly emotional or unable to sleep or any one of a myriad of other side effects that can happen with these kinds of medications. There have been some blips but for the most part, he's adjusting well to the medicine and we -- his teachers and I -- are seeing wonderful results.

As part of a comprehensive approach, we are going to see a counselor in a couple of weeks. We'll evaluate all the information from the pediatrician, the results of the medication and the results from my behavior modification at home and make sure that things are going well. I want to be sure we're not missing anything.

I have no idea if Samuel will spend the rest of his life on medication. The doctor seems to think that he might need medicine for a couple of years until he matures; it's obvious he's not as emotionally mature as his peers. I don't need all the answers right now. I'm just glad that he's able to keep up with his work at school and that we have resources to help with all of this.

Smoke Detectors

Why do smoke detector batteries always die at night? It never fails. The kids are finally asleep and I'm either relaxing on the couch or asleep (!) and the thing beeps once. At first, I think it's a fluke and try to ignore it. But then it beeps again. Still in denial, I continue to ignore it because I'm comfortable and the last thing I want to do is search out a 9 volt battery, climb on a chair, pry open the cover and switch the batteries out. But then it steps up the beeping to 2 consecutive beeps.

Fine. I'll change the stupid battery. Of course I always consider just taking out the old battery, therefore not having to look for another battery and getting back to my relaxation sooner. But you know, having a devastating house fire tends to change your perspective on these things. What's another 3 minutes spent changing the battery compared with losing the vast majority of your worldly possessions? Or worse?

On another note, I got a couple of chuckles out of my smoke detector tonight. The first is that the reset button says "Push to hush." I think 'hush' is a funny word in this context. Second, when I removed the battery, I saw a large, neon orange sticker inside the compartment that reads "WARNING: the battery has been removed!" No! Are you serious? I don't believe it!

Kids Are Gross

So Samuel picks his nose, in public. And to my eternal shame, he occasionally eats the contents, also in public. Excuse me while I dry heave ... okay, better now.

I've tried and tried and tried to discourage this activity by all means possible. I have come to the conclusion that he will have to be shamed out of it by his peers. I wash my hands of it. Literally. Ick.

Anyway, we were at a birthday party held in a public party establishment. The kids spent 90 minutes bouncing in air castles, flying down 10 foot slides and battling their way through inflated obstacle courses. It was really a lot of fun.

After play time we all lined up and proceeded to another room for the cake and presents portion of the party. There was a party attendant standing at the door, squirting Germ-X onto all the children's hands. As Samuel approached the attendant, he chose that particular moment to indulge in his disgusting habit. The poor attendant looked absolutely repulsed and said, "You're getting a lot of this stuff."

Yeah, kids are gross.

I'm going to have to beg Samuel's forgiveness for this post in 10 years.

A Genuinely Nice Guy

Found this posted on my message board today. Enjoy.


To the woman that crapped in my car... (NE Portland)

We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.

I thought we had chemistry sitting at McMenamins sharing that basket of Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.

At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don't feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said "First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me." was meant to be funny, not offensive.

I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle's lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don't think anyone wins 100% of the time. That's why they call it "gambling". I'm the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better ... like when you're not sitting on a heated leather seat ...

What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.

I await your call,
Tad

P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early ... Touché ...

Six Degrees -- Or Fewer?

I like to scan through the Friend Finder on Facebook. It suggests friends for you based on mutual acquaintances. Sometimes I find new friends, sometimes I find people I don't necessarily want to reconnect with. And other times -- twice, in fact -- I find people that know people I know but the people I know do not know each other. Clear as mud? Let me explain.

In the first instance, Facebook suggested I befriend Joe (not his real name, don't remember his real name, not important) because Joe was friends with my brother and one of my friends -- a friend I have never met face to face, but in fact, know from a message board. My brother and my message board friend do not know each other. Furthermore, my brother lives in Arkansas and my message board friend lives in Washington DC and will likely never meet each other. Very odd.

The second instance was tonight. Facebook suggested I befriend John (not his real name, do remember his real name, still not important) because John is friends with my friend Abby and my friend Ellie. Abby and Ellie do not know each other. At least, I don't think they do. I know them from very different circles that haven't ever crossed to my knowledge. But they do both live in the Denver Metro area so I suppose they could know each other and I just don't know it.

Anyway, all of this points, yet again, to our surprisingly small world of 6,760,844,960 individuals.

No, I didn't pull 6,760,844,960 out my ear. I got it from here. BTW, that number jumped by 30 in less than a minute. Fascinating. How do they do that?

Did You Know ... ?

1. At work, I keep my work keys and a pen in my left scrub pocket and my cell phone and lip gloss in my right pocket. Always.

2. Also at work, I use the same pen for weeks until it either breaks or runs out of ink.

3. In the shower, I always, always, always wash my hair first. The other stuff is done in whatever order I remember but the hair comes first.

4. If I have a dinner plan, I'm a lot more likely to look forward to cooking it and enjoy eating it than if I just come in from work and scramble eggs or make quesadillas.

5. If I weren't a nurse, I'd be a forensic anthropologist.

6. Some of my favorite books are gory, non-fiction titles about death and investigating death.

7. I think the men that host a lot of shows on the Discovery channel are among the most attractive on television: Mike Rowe, Bear Grylls, Adam Wood.

8. Since moving to Colorado, I've stopped wearing as much make up -- not that I've ever worn a lot -- and stopped worrying so much about being 'dressed.' I think I was destined to live here and be more comfortable in my own skin.

9. A down side to being more comfortable in my own skin is that I've gained some weight. I need to lose it. Sigh.

10. I used to really like romantic comedies but I don't any more.

11. If I didn't have children, I'd live in a little loft apartment in downtown Denver, sell my car and bike every where. Or almost every where. And I'd buy a large, short-haired dog.

12. I like going to movies alone.

13. I like loading the dishwasher but despise unloading it. I'd rather clean both of the toilets in my home than unload the dishwasher.

14. I hate mopping the floor, too. I can go weeks without mopping the floors. I sweep regularly and will spot clean with a dirty dishrag instead of mopping.

15. I do not like butter substitutes. I converted to butter 3 years ago and I'll never go back.

16. I probably spend too much time with my computer, but I don't care.

17. I know I watch too much television and I don't care about that, either.

18. I recently discovered that I like bleu cheese. A lot.

19. I hate arcades and arcade-type places. Unfortunately, my children love them.

20. I also hate carnivals and the stupid games at fairs.

21. I didn't like sushi the first time I tried it but I did the second time. Same with Indian food.

22. I'm a Snopes fiend. If you send me an alarmist e-mail forward, there is a 100% chance that I will research it through Snopes. If it's inaccurate, I'll reply to you with the link.

23. I'm an extremely suspicious person. I still haven't decided if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

24. I used to buy a purse and use it for months and months at a time. Even a couple of years. Recently I decided to branch out and buy more purses. It's more fun than I thought it would be.

25. This time of year, I'm kind of proud of myself that I can file my own tax return. I secretly scoff at people who file a simple 1040 and pay someone to do it. (Thanks, Dad!)

26. I moved a lot as a kid and didn't like it then. Now I like that I had all those experiences at a young age. But I still don't want my own kids to move that much. They get enough of that between here and Albuquerque.

27. Blogging is so good for me, I wish I'd started it sooner.

28. I saw a therapist once for about 3 months. That was so good for me, I should have done it much sooner than I did.

29. I greatly increased my water intake a few weeks ago and now I find that I miss it if I don't drink much during the day. I have to make up for it at night before I go to bed. That is sometimes inconvenient.

30. I recently discovered that I can tolerate -- and even enjoy -- some beers.

31. I never thought I'd get divorced, but I'd much rather be divorced than married the way I was.

32. I don't care if the toilet paper roll goes over or under.

33. Occasionally, I get emotional about my kids growing up and wish it happened more slowly. But for the most part, I want them to grow up and become independent just as quickly as they are.

34. I really like staying in hotels. It's fun to drop my towels on the floor and not make the bed or worry that I should be doing something other than vegging on the bed and watching crap tv.

35. My favorite actress is Kate Winslet.

36. I frequently stay up much later than I should. I'd probably be 20% more productive if I went to bed 2 hours earlier every night.

37. I can make really, really good sangria.

38. I'd like to see the Sham Wow guy and Billy Mays in a cage match, but only on mute.

39. I get strange satisfaction out of shopping around for stuff and getting things ridiculously cheaply.

40. I enjoy spending an entire day in my pajamas. Sometimes I get up, shower and put on clean pajamas for the rest of the day.

41. No matter how bad a day I've had, there is some kind of music that can always make it a little bit better.

42. I appreciate sarcastic, crude, crass humor. Most of the time.

43. I thrive on routines but I have a hard time establishing them.

44. I have little patience for dense, obtuse people.

45. I was either pregnant or nursing or both from September 1999 through June 2006.

46. I nursed all three of my children for 6 weeks after Samuel was born and before Solomon weaned.

47. I have read a couple of books that were so good that I want to read them again, but I can't remember their titles and no amount of searching or cross-referencing at the library has found them.

48. I like to paint my toenails but I rarely paint my fingernails.

49. I am sometimes too invested in my Sim families.

50. I do not like air fresheners, air sanitizers or any other substance meant to be sprayed willy-nilly throughout a house.

51. I like to light candles for no reason.

52. Random movie lines pop into my head at odd times. I once went on a blind double date with a couple I knew and their friend. My date and I ended up laughing more at the same random movie lines than we did conversing with the couple.

53. I've had some of the same internet friends for over 5 years.

54. I do not see the appeal of Star Wars. My boys do.

55. The Ped Egg commercial really grosses me out.

56. The Snugee commercial really annoys me. What are bathrobes for?

57. Alec Baldwin is my least favorite actor, maybe my least favorite person ever.

Don't Divorce Us

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

Can't Stop Laughing

Huh?

One of my patients today was a little girl, barely 2 years old. She was in for a cough but on the way out, her mother asked me about night waking. She said the little girl has a 'very bad habit' of waking in the middle of the night and asking for water. If her mother says no, she cries and cries and cries and wakes the rest of the family.

I asked what happens if she gets a drink of water. The mother said she goes back to sleep. I stared at her, trying not to look like I thought that was an obvious answer and that I thought she was not very bright.

Then the mother said she can't keep getting up to get water. And then she changed her story. She said the little girl doesn't go back to sleep after a drink of water. She asks repeatedly for more water every 15 minutes. I'm not buying that.

But really, what's the problem with giving the girl a sippy cup of water to keep in the crib? She can drink all she needs and not wake anyone. I just don't get some people.

Ho. Ly. Cow

What a day! I got to work at 7:45 and didn't sit down again until 11:45. Even then, it was just a short break between patients. I didn't eat lunch until 12:30. Every appointment slot was filled -- and not with simple issues.

There was a boy who cut his finger with a knife; no stitches needed but the doctor decided to order a Tdap since he hadn't had a tetanus shot since kindergarten. Then I realized that he was behind on 3 other injections and, of course, his mother wanted him to get all of them today.

We had two kids with bad infections who couldn't tolerate oral antibiotics so they had to have Rocephin injections. Rocephin is a pain in the neck. It comes in powder form and is reconstituted with Lidocaine. It is the consistency of maple syrup and, even with the Lidocaine, hurts a lot. It's not uncommon for patients to have large bruises the next day. Because of the large volume usually ordered, it's divided into two injections. We usually get two nurses to give both shots at the same time since it hurts so much. Afterward, the patient has to wait in the office for at least 10 minutes to be sure there isn't a bad reaction to it. And I did that twice.

I administered 3 nebulized breathing treatments, 2 of which were done with oxygen. I did 2 flu tests, an RSV test, and half a dozen strep tests.

In addition to all of that, we had 3 well care visits with their necessary immunizations, weight checks and developmental questionnaires. One stressed, exhausted new mother had forgotten to bring her baby's formula with her. The baby was hungry and the mom was near tears. Fortunately, we had bottles with ready to feed formula. A baby peed on a scale. Another baby pooped on an exam table. Three separate times, children with appointments also had ill siblings and we managed to squeeze them in, too.

I was dead on my feet by lunch time. I'm so glad the day is over.

Happy Valentine's Day, Mom!

Solomon: Here, Mom, it's your early Valentine's Day present! (hands me a mostly dry, hard orange)

Me: Oh, thank you! (pause) How long have you had this?

Solomon: About three days. But it was in this safe compartment in my backpack so it wouldn't get messed up.

Me: Um, okay. But I think it might be too old to eat.

Solomon: Yeah, but you can still cut it up and make the house smell good. (beaming pride)

Me: Absolutely! (big smile)

Solomon: You have a really weird smile on your face, Mom.

TMI Follow Up

Warning: This is technically part 2 of the disgusting thread from before. You know what that means.

I overheard my nurse manager on the phone with rotavirus parents today. She was letting them know that their child's stool specimen was negative for rotavirus. That means that my fighting with the super absorbent diaper over 0.1 ml of diarrhea was worth it. The lab doesn't run tests on inadequate specimens. :pats self on the back:

Thursday Thirteen: Best Life Events

After # 1, these are in no particular order ...

1. The births of my children, seeing their faces for the first time.

2. Christmas 2008.

3. Christmas 1993.

4. Moving into my own apartment after separating from the ex-husband.

5. Being voted Unsung Hero at West.

6. Trip to Lake Tahoe.

7. Trip to Honduras.

8. Going out with Kelly and Hope to Heaven.

9. Marc Broussard concert.

10. The 'other' staff Christmas party at West in 2007.

11. Obama rally.

12. Snorkeling in Cancun.

13. Any and all Thanksgiving holidays spent with the family in Arkansas.

Texans, Take Heed

Our Tamiflu drug rep came to the office today. I eagerly await her visit every week because she brings us the latest stats on flu tracking across the country. I have a weird preoccupation with this. We've been pleasantly surprised not to have much flu activity in our office or across the country up to now. Or at least, we were.

In the Tamiflu rep's words: It Has Hit. She showed me a map of the United States with color-coded sections denoting High, Moderate and Low Flu Activity. High is red, Moderate is orange and Low is yellow.

Immediately, my eyes fell upon Colorado. Colorado is entirely red which means we are swimming in a deep sea of creepy-crawly flu bugs. Blech. I'm so glad we took care of inoculation weeks ago. This is the one time of year I will consent to the use of Lysol wipes in my home.

Next, I checked out Texas. My friends, you have it bad. A teeny sliver of the Gulf Coast is moderate, as is the very northernmost edge of the panhandle. The rest of you ... all I can say is, I hope you had your flu shot. Also, washing your hands needs to take up the better part of your day. It's not pretty.

Stay healthy, all!

TMI & 21st Century Technology

Warning: This post contains much discussion of dirty diapers and is quite disgusting. If you can't handle it, move along. I am not kidding.

I had to send a stool sample off to be tested for rotavirus yesterday. The doctor I was working with brought two diapers out of the exam room and set them in the lab sink. He then brought me the patient's chart and asked me to send off standard stool cultures and rotavirus but the rotavirus was the most important since the stool was especially foul-smelling. Wonderful.

I called the lab to ask how much stool is required for rotavirus testing. The only thing worse than digging through a diaper for stool and sending it off for culture is getting a call 24 hours later because there was not enough stool in the culture tube. The lab rep said they needed 0.1 ml. This surprised me because most stool cultures require 2 grams but the rep assured me 0.1 ml was sufficient. Okay, that should make things a little easier.

I pulled my hair back with a rubberband, applied Vicks to my upper lip and gloved up. I readied my specimen container and opened the first diaper to collect what I could. As it turns out, I couldn't collect much. Disposable diapers, with their multiple layers of paper/plastic/gel, are doing their jobs these days. I scraped the diaper lining with a tongue blade and came up with a miniscule amount of yellow liquid. I scraped a little harder. Still not much. So I went to the next diaper. It wasn't any better. A co-worker suggested squeezing the diaper since the stool was obviously more liquid than solid. Nothing. Not a drop.

By this time I was frustrated. When the lab rep said 0.1 ml, I didn't expect volume to be my problem. Plus, the smell was getting to me. So I began looking in the elastic bands for bits of stool that weren't absorbed by the space age gel beads. I got a little more fluid/solid mixture but not enough. There was only one thing left to do: tear open the first layers of absorbent material. But you know what that gets you? Space age gel beads full of diarrhea. Probably not what the lab technicians want and probably not worth counting in the 0.1 ml.

Well, tough noogies. That's what they got. And Dr. Standard Stool Cultures can forget about it. Unless we attach a bag directly to this child's rear end, we're not getting stool from him. Twenty-first century diapers are not cooperative enough for that.

One Year

Today is February 2, 2009; one year exactly since I left Texas. It doesn't feel like it has been a year. So much of Colorado still feels new to me. I guess that's what happens after spending the entirety of my adult life thus far in one city.

A few times during the last year, various people have asked me if this move was worth it, if I'm sure I made the right decision. In a word, yes. Yes, it has been worth it and yes, I made the right decision. But that doesn't mean I don't miss Texas. We had a good life there and I miss a lot of it.

Unfortunately, life doesn't allow me to pick and choose pieces and compile them into my own personal utopia. In Texas, I had the perfect job for me, the perfect church for me and a lot of very good friends. But my nearest family was an 8 hour drive away. Here, I have settled for a job I like, but not love. I'm making friends. But I have family 15 minutes from me. In either place, I'm missing things important to me.

Mom and Dad always said life isn't fair. Boy, were they right.